My Ex Blocked Me From All Sides: Why and What to Do

  • Jul 26, 2021
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My ex blocked me from everywhere: why and what to do

Couple breakups have never been easy. And although we all want to show that we can handle it as rational adults, our emotions have a lot to say. This staying as friends is not so simple. Although we want to hide it, it is very hard for that person who has played such an important role in our lives, suddenly, stop doing it, just as it is "unhooking" from it, and even more so with the reach of the networks social.

So sometimes the best remedy is to block that person. If you find yourself in this situation and want to understand it better, keep reading this Psychology-Online article which we explain why your ex has blocked you from all sides and what you can do about it.

You may also like: Why is my ex ignoring me and what do I do?

Index

  1. Social media during a couple breakup
  2. My ex has deleted my number
  3. Why has my ex blocked me
  4. Is it better to delete your ex from WhatsApp?

Social media during a couple breakup.

The emergence of social networks and applications dedicated to instant messaging, such as Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram or Twitter, has facilitated many improvements in interpersonal communication, but it has also increased the

surveillance and control behaviors behavior over the internet.

The use of social networks during a couple break-up is conditioned by the “ideology of social networks”, defined as a set of beliefs about communication technologies, with which users explain the structure and perceived meaning of the networks. That is, beliefs of what they have to be used for, how they should be used, etc. These ideologies influence how people react on different social networks.

Another factor related to the behavior that people adopt after a breakup is the type of attachment they tend to establish in their relationships. Avoidant attachment is associated with minimizing contact with the ex-partner, while ambivalent or anxious attachment it is associated with greater concern for her, higher levels of stress, and more frequent attempts to get back into the relationship. This type of attachment is also associated with a unwanted chasing behavior after the breakup, ranging from persistent attempts to contact the ex to attempts to get back with her, even if she is not interested.

My ex has deleted my number.

People are curious beings, so “stalking” or gossiping to some degree with the ex-partner right after a romantic break-up is understandable. Virtually everyone does. In addition, social networks and messaging applications make it much easier for ex-partner members to keep in touch, even if they are not communicating directly, remaining "friends" on social networks often makes one see or receive pictures or information about your ex's life. And this can be a problem when trying to get over the relationship.

Apart from curiosity, uncertainty plays a key role, which grows when ending a relationship that provided you with security. At that time we are more vulnerable and emotional, so it is difficult to stay rational and know how to discern which behaviors are healthier and which are harming us the most. It has been seen that young people who monitor their partners more online experience more stress in the breakup, and that, in turn, stress predicts the behavior of watching or controlling the ex-partner immediately after the breakup, especially for those who had not started it.

Thus, technology is a double-edged sword, since on the one hand it can alleviate individual curiosity in the short term, but on the other hand another simultaneously influences the development of unhealthy behaviors through the repeated review of what the ex partner. In the face of these behaviors, sometimes the best option is to cut contact cleanly: delete the number, remove or block that person previously seen as someone permanent in one's life. But there may be more reasons why an ex blocks you. We see them in the next section.

Why has my ex blocked me.

Eliminating or blocking the ex is one of the most popular mechanisms for dealing with the stress or pain that the breakup causes. There may be several reasons for doing this, let's see a few:

  • To better deal with the pain. Your ex may not be looking for you on purpose, but they will still show up and see your stories, posts, statuses, posts, photos, etc., something that doesn't really help to better cope with the breakup or to get over you. That's why, once blocked, all your updates stop showing up and it can alleviate suffering.
  • So as not to torture yourself. It could be that she not only accidentally saw what you are hanging, but, as we explained in the previous section, she follows you and actively looks for you to see what you do and how you continue with your life. This is a behavior that greatly hinders being able to recover, so it is best to prevent yourself from seeing all those posts blocking you.
  • Because she feels watched. In one study, the vast majority of participants admitted that after a breakup stalked and they even closely monitored all the activity of their ex-partners on social media. The person may feel watched and overwhelmed, and decide to block you to end this situation.
  • To put more distance between you. Perhaps blocking you is the only way he has found to move on and put a necessary distance between you, especially if someone of the members of the couple are tempted to talk to the other to return or to continue with the damaging dynamics that led them to to break.

Is it better to delete your ex from WhatsApp?

Determining whether or not it is better to delete your ex from WhatsApp or other social networks depends on how you handle the breakup, and the use you make of WhatsApp and the networks in relation to your ex. Research to date suggests that maintaining contact with an ex-partner can inhibit an individual's ability to get over the breakup. Therefore, what is recommended in general is to cut the contact, although it will depend on each case.

It is especially advisable to remove your ex from WhatsApp and the like in case of a series of behaviors:

  • Re-read and over-analyze old messages or posts. These messages can bring back painful memories and lead us to dwell on the past or try to figure out what went wrong in the relationship. It is best to delete these messages and delete the contact with the ex.
  • Using mutual friends as an excuse to stay friends with your ex, even if this means torturing yourself by following the updates of the ex-partner.
  • Write or call your ex every time you find yourself overcome by a sea of ​​nostalgia and sorrow. Having such easy and quick access to that person doesn't help those waves of sadness stop coming. In the following article you will find information about what to do if you miss your ex partner.
  • Follow everything the couple does on social media: what hangs up, who gives "I like" and who gives it, etc., since, as we have commented previously, it is a counterproductive behavior that makes it difficult for us to overcome the break.

The most important thing is to be honest with yourself and make the decision that is really healthier, even if it is to eliminate or block your ex. Stopping being friends with your ex doesn't mean weakness or immaturity. There is nothing wrong with distancing yourself from someone who is no longer doing you good, and at the end of the day, you have to do what helps you feel better. Knowing these will help you tips to overcome a couple breakup.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to My ex blocked me from everywhere: why and what to do, we recommend that you enter our category of Couple therapy.

Bibliography

  • Blight, M.G., Ruppel, E.K. & Jagiello, K. (2019). “Using Facebook Lets Me Know What He is Doing:” Relational Uncertainty, Breakups, and Renewals in On-again / Off-again Relationships, Southern Communication Journal, DOI: 10.1080 / 1041794X.2019.1641836
  • Fox, J., & Tokunaga, R. S. (2015). Romantic Partner Monitoring After Breakups: Attachment, Dependence, Distress, and Post-Dissolution Online Surveillance via Social Networking Sites. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 18 (9), 491–498. doi: 10.1089 / cyber.2015.0123
  • Lukacs, V., & Quan-Haase, A. (2015). Romantic breakups on Facebook: new scales for studying post-breakup behaviors, digital distress, and surveillance. Information, Communication & Society, 18 (5), 492–508. doi: 10.1080 / 1369118x.2015.1008540
  • Lukacs, V. (2012). It's Complicated: Romantic Breakups and Their Aftermath on It's Complicated: Romantic Breakups and Their Aftermath on Facebook Facebook. Electronic Thesis and Disser tation Repository.
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