What to LOOK for in a COUPLE

Surely you have ever been asked what it is you are looking for in a partner and you have not known what to answer or you have answered what you have always heard: that I be faithful, love me and respect me; but what does this mean? Is it really the most necessary in a couple?

Harley, W. F. (1999) shows us the 10 necessary aspects to look for in a partner: affection, sexual fulfillment, conversation, recreational company, honesty and frankness, financial security, family commitment, admiration, domestic support and attraction. Communication, or conversation, is the one that most studies define as an indispensable attribute to consider in a couple. In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to help you learn more about what to look for in a partner and what is needed in a relationship. If you want to know more, keep reading!

Index

1. Affected
2. Sexual fullness
3. Communication
4. Recreational company
5. Honesty and frankness
6. Attraction
7. Support
8. Commitment
9. Values

If you wonder what to look for in a partner, one of the important aspects is affection, a symbol of security, protection, support and approval. We'll see now different ways of showing affection:

• With words.
• In a physical way with caresses or with details.
• Spending quality time or a gift can also be forms of affection.
• Get along and show love.
• To converse.
• Share time and ideals.

Showing love, affection and affection is one of the most important areas within the quality of the couple's bond. If there is lack of affection, in this article you will find more information about the lack of affection in the couple: causes, symptoms, consequences and how to act.

Sexual fullness is a symbol of intimacy in the couple and of the distinction between love and friendship, therefore, when looking for a partner it is a very important aspect. Most consider that the sexual act is the most intimate thing you share with someone, along with the most pleasure. Getting along feel chemistry and lean they are strong indicators that the couple maintains close ties.

For the sexual act to become a satisfying situation, should be more of a transcendent expression of affection, that merely coital. That elevates the experience to higher levels that generate a feeling of fulfillment in those who experience it. In this article, we tell you how to improve sexual life as a couple.

Communication is the attribute that more studies validate as indispensable in a couple since it is the problem that is most consulted in psychotherapy.

According to a study by Cuervo, J. J. (2013), when looking for a partner assertive, constructive or nurturing communication is key. Therefore, the main characteristic would be the open and spontaneous expression of ideas, disagreements and agreements; This includes positive and negative feelings, preferences or expression of opinions directly, without trying to force the agreement of the other through threats or punishment.

Not only is communication important in this sense to improve the relationship, but so are the topics of conversation, that it is fluid and does not stop quickly.

What is there to look for in a partner? Having mutual recreational interests is important, that is, finding activities so you can enjoy together and in which you can share time both. This will make you create happy memories and discover pleasures together, favoring the union of a couple. Discover more important elements about how to have a healthy relationship.

What is the most important thing in a relationship? There are many authors who speak of the importance of the consolidation of a bond based on love, respect, sincerity and honesty. To achieve this, many appeal to the importance of transparency in all areas, denying privacy separately, but also appeal to the need to protect some aspects of our personal life, which does not mean having to lie or hide anything from the other.

Harley, W. F. (1999) tells us: “When honesty and cooperation exist in marriage, you have a partner who is willing to share and build together. They do not need secrets or live in private. They also have no desire to lie and obscure the truth to protect their spouse. When you build your marriage on trust, you experience a joyful willingness to share all feelings personal with the person you have chosen as a partner for life ”.

Nowadays the attractiveness goes beyond the physical ideal, to wear neat clothes, a suitable hairstyle and to maintain good personal hygiene. One of the qualities that you should look for in a partner is that they seem attractive to you, since this reinforces established ties.

If you wonder what to look for in a partner, this consideration comes out the moment you decide to formalize the relationship and that is when it becomes relevant. Later, it becomes a fundamental aspect when going to live together, as it influences the way in which coexistence is faced. Discover important aspects of how to live as a couple.

Have you ever wondered what I need from a partner? One of the necessary things is spend time enough to your partner, show interest In the activities that they carry out independently, offer them quality full attention and show behaviors that enhance the rapprochement between the two.

The most important thing in a relationship is the values ​​associated with the characteristics of the couple, both at the time of the election and in the maintenance of the relationship. These are diverse, such as a sense of humor, honesty, flexibility or tolerance, but it is important that you share them. In this article you will find a list and examples of moral values.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What to look for in a partner, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.

• American psychiatric association, (2014). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders DSM - 5. Madrid Spain. Editorial medica panamericana.
• Capafóns, J., Sosa, D., (2015). Relationships and social skills: interpersonal respect. Behavioral Psychology / Behavioral Psychology, 23 (1), 25-34.
• Cuervo, J. S., (2013). Viable couples that last over time. Divers.: Perspect. Psicol. 9 (2), 257-270.
• García, M., Romero A., (2012). Maintenance in the couple relationship: construction and validation of two scales. Ibero-American Journal of Diagnosis and Evaluation - e Avaliação Psicológica, 2 (34), 133-155.
• Harley, W. F., (1999). What he needs, what she needs. USA. Group Level I Inc.
• Santacreu, O., French, F. J., (2008). Mixed couples of Europeans in Spain: Integration, satisfaction and future expectations. OBETS Magazine, 1, 7-20.
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