How to face CHRISTMAS WITHOUT A LOVED ONE

It is useless to make invisible the difficulty of facing the first festivities without a loved one, especially at Christmas. A normally happy period turns into an experience of renewed pain. Some say that time does its part and that the holidays are lived with a different spirit.

One then wonders how long the state of suffering can last and how to experience mourning at Christmas. This trance seems to be cyclical, with ups and downs, with moments in which one feels broken like in the first period, and others in which progress is noted. In this Psychology-Online article we will discover together 10 tips on How to face Christmas without a loved one.

Index

1. Acknowledge what it feels like
2. Talk about the loved one
3. Respect each person's reaction
4. Let go of assumptions
5. Know your own role
6. be patient
7. plan ahead
8. question your own plans
9. Create a new tradition
10. Paying Attention to Potentially Harmful Behaviors

One of the most important tips on how to spend Christmas without a loved one is

This could be useful for you to take the first step in the grieving process, although it is often difficult to comply with. On the contrary, if you feel the desire to live your pain in privacy, it is important meet your needs more intrinsic.

It is difficult to know how to overcome the loss of a loved one, we often tend not to mention the people who They are no longer part of our lives so as not to disturb those that remain, so as not to ruin the environment or bring sadness.

If a person is in mourning, being able to talk about their loved one can help them express their feelings, albeit painful ones, and help keep their memories alive. Pretending to act as if a person did not exist is much worse than face sadness during the festivities.

There is no right or wrong way to deal with what you feel: pain is something very intimate and each one experiences it personally. Therefore, not everyone expresses pain in the same way, and the best thing to do is to allow everyone to deal with the loss personally. Do not expect certain behaviors or others to express pain as we would.

We cannot know how the person who suffers feels at that moment: we cannot assume that he does not feel like going out, having company or celebrating, but we can ask. If the mourning is recent, we can offer help for specific tasks, such as buying gifts together or decorating the house.

If that person spends her first Christmas without a loved one, she needs at least three types of supporters in life:

• The listener, that is, the supporter who offers a shoulder over the cries, a person who is able to handle intimate details and emotion.
• The agent, or the person who can help in everyday practice, such as picking up children from school or helping with housework when requested by the person who has suffered a loss;
• the distracter, that can offer lighter moments and can help take a break from the hard work of processing grief.

One of the tips on how to spend Christmas without a loved one is to admit that the emotions of mourning have a different duration for each person and often the external aspect. What we see may not match the feelings the person is experiencing.

Therefore, it is important to stay close to the person in mourning, understanding that there may be ups and downs and that these can last a long time, reiterating that we will be present in any case, both in the good ones and in the bad ones. bad, without judgment or particular demands.

Often the anxiety and anguish that anticipate Christmas and other holidays may be more intense than what is actually perceived during the celebrations. Making plans about how to spend this time can help you feel more in control of the situation, it can help distract yourself and not be overwhelmed by anguish typical when trying to cope with the death of a loved one.

The next tip on how to face Christmas without a loved one is to change the context. Sometimes you can feel the need to change places that until then had been the protagonist of happy and carefree moments. Some people, for example, feel more comfortable changing their vacation destination.

If for some it can be helpful, for others, on the other hand, it is important to share that daily life again, as an expression of closeness. What is essential is to try to maintain good communication with close people.

Some families might find it useful to create something intimate to experience their own pain and renew the memory of their loved one. An example of how to face Christmas without a loved one is to remember the deceased by devoting oneself to volunteering, creating spaces in which it is possible to return to the present the memory of those who no longer is it so, sharing their memories and bringing him to life in his own words.

The last piece of advice on how to face Christmas without a loved one pays attention to the heightening of feelings of grief and loss during the holidays, so take emotions into account (and reactions to them) in this time span.

Fatigue, loss of appetite, and feelings of apathy and helplessness may indicate that the pain experienced could lead to depression. Experts warn that this can lead to unhealthy behaviors, such as excessive alcohol consumption, withdrawal from social situations or self-harm.

The first parties without a loved one are difficult, and although nothing can replace what has been lost, we must take care of ourselves and dedicate time to the memory of those people. In addition, it is important to enjoy the traditions of the holidays, as this can alleviate some suffering, helping us to move forward in the elaboration of mourning.

If you liked this post about how to face Christmas without a loved one, we encourage you to consult our articles about the Types of grief and their characteristics Y How to overcome pathological grief.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to face Christmas without a loved one, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.

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2. Guillén Guillén, Elena, & Gordillo Montaño, Mª José, & Gordillo Gordillo, Mª Dolores (2015). THE GROUP HELPED ME NOT TO STAG. ADVANCEMENT IN THE GRIEF PROCESS. International Journal of Developmental and Educational Psychology, 2(1),469-476. [Consultation date January 27, 2022]. ISSN: 0214-9877. Available in: https://www.redalyc.org/articulo.oa? id=349851784046