SOCIAL REJECTION: Types, causes and how to overcome it

Anyone who has experienced gym class at school knows the anxiety of being the last one picked on the team. The same hurt feelings surface when you're left out of lunch with your co-workers, when you can't get the job you interviewed for, or if your partner dumps you. The fear of being rejected is a powerful emotion that many people have experienced at least once in their lives.

Psychology has always held that rejection is one of humanity's greatest fears. We are biologically driven to feel a need to belong and we get nervous when we risk being misjudged. Precisely for this reason, fear of judgment and social phobia are so widespread among the population. In this Psychology-Online article, we will see what is social rejection, its causes, its symptoms and some tips to overcome it.

Index

1. What is social rejection
2. Types of social rejection
3. Causes of social rejection
4. Consequences of social rejection
5. How to overcome social rejection

The need for acceptance and belonging to a social group, as well as the need to feel safe within relationships interpersonal, they are essential characteristics that unite all human beings and motivate the behaviors that each of us perform daily.

social rejection occurs when a person is deliberately excluded of a relationship or of social interaction, rejected by individuals or by a whole group. Although we are social beings, feeling a certain level of rejection is an unavoidable part of life, however, it can become a problem when it is prolonged or constant, when the relationship is important or when the individual is very sensitive to rejection.

What causes social rejection?

Social rejection can have negative effects, especially when it results in social isolation. Find out what the main symptoms of social rejection are:

• Loneliness.
• Low self-esteem.
• Aggressiveness.
• Depression.
• feelings of unsafety.
• Greater sensitivity to future rejection.

There are several types of social rejection that we will see below:

• Active: like the phenomenon of bullying, where teasing or ridicule occurs.
• passive: like deliberately ignoring a person ("silent treatment").

It is important to note that the experience of social rejection is subjective and can also be perceived when it is not really present. If you need more information about the causes of social rejection, we recommend this article on Why do I feel like people reject me?

Psychology has always been interested in the phenomenon of social rejection and has investigated the causes of this ancient fear. Nowadays, belonging to a group means identifying with common values, sharing interests, following rules and behaviors in line with the group's ideology. Almost every we can choose whether or not we belong to a group, a fact that affects our chances of survival.

Let's think about our ancestors. If one of our descendants had been separated from his tribe, he would hardly have survived long. Our brain has developed mechanisms that alert us to possible threats, such as being expelled from the group was a danger at the time.

Our descendants correctly read the social situations in which they found themselves and modified their behavior to overcome social rejection and be accepted within their tribe. Thanks to this ability they survived. Thus, the fear of social rejection has deep roots and has been passed on to us evolutionarily by our ancestors.

Social rejection can be extremely painful, as it can make people feel as if they are not loved, appreciated or accepted. Most people experience social rejection at some point in their lives. In the long term, social rejection can have psychological consequences durable. Let’s see what the effects of social rejection are:

• Trauma: Long-term social rejection causes extreme feelings and can have serious psychological consequences. For example, children who constantly feel rejected by their parents may have difficulty succeeding in school or relating to peers. Some individuals develop a chronic fear of rejection due to multiple traumatic experiences.
• Depression: Rejection has been linked to the development of depression in adolescents, however, other people who experience rejection may develop it. Additionally, bullying can have numerous negative effects, including depression, stress, eating disorders, and self-injurious behavior. In this article you will see how to help a teen with depression.
• response to pain: The brain responds to social pain in a similar way to the way it responds to physical pain. The same brain pathways activated by physical pain are also activated by social rejection. Receptor systems in the brain release natural pain relievers (opioids) when a person experiences social pain, just as they do when experiencing physical pain.
• anxiety and stress: Social rejection can often contribute to pre-existing conditions, such as stress and anxiety, or lead to their development. Similarly, these and other mental health conditions can exacerbate feelings of rejection.
• Abuse: A study found that, in male members, the perpetration of abuse in intimate relationships is associated with traumatic experiences of social rejection.

Often, those who fear rejection have attitudes that, in the long run, prove to be dysfunctional. These behaviors are more or less covert attempts to hide their fear of social rejection. Here are some examples of these cases:

• Avoid new situations.
• Try to please everyone.
• Behave passive-aggressively.

What to do in the face of social rejection

Rejection is part of social relations, but when we open ourselves to the possibility of being rejected, we are accepting to feel emotions such as pain, disappointment, loss, fear, anger and loneliness. In this way, we learn from our experiences, but above all we are learning that rejection is not the end of our lives.

By relying more and more on our ability to handle any emotion that arises from relationships with other people, we can build deeper relationships and enjoy them in a more relaxed and gratifying. We can finally take off the mask we put on to please everyone, we can finally allow ourselves to be ourselves.

If you want more information on how to overcome social rejection, we recommend this article on how to overcome the fear of rejection.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Social rejection: what it is, types, causes and how to overcome it, we recommend that you enter our category of Social psychology.

• Marcheselli, E. (2020). Il rifiuto sociale: perché è una forma di violenza. Recovered from: https://www.paginemediche.it/medici-online/elisa-marcheselli/blog/il-rifiuto-sociale-perche-e-una-forma-di-violenza
• Pole, A. (2020). Paura di essere rifiutati: where you are born and how to overcome it. Recovered from: https://www.psicoterapiascientifica.it/paura-del-rifiuto/