Perhaps you know someone or have seen in movies or series, or even it has happened to you, to be in love with two people or notice that you are in love with two people and is that, is this possible? Well yes. Sometimes it may happen that we are in love with two people at the same time, but then, what do we do if we want to choose one of them? Should we choose only one candidate? Well, the answer is below.
In this Psychology-Online article, we will show you how to choose between two people you love. Specifically, you will see different strategies that will help you choose between two loves. If you are interested, keep reading and we will explain it to you!
Index
- meet them
- Observe the phases of love
- Global evaluation of each
- Listen to your heart
- Appreciate what they feel for you
- ask for advice
- Be patient
- Give yourself a deadline
- trust your instinct
- Set up a polyamorous relationship
- Establish an open relationship
- Opt for singleness
Meet them.
How to choose between one person and another? If you are doubting what to do and you want to know which one is the most suitable or the most related to you, it is important that Get to know each of them as best you can. in order to have as much information as possible before deciding.
Observe the phases of love.
What to do when one is confused between two people? In this election, it is important to keep in mind that you will not always meet these people at the same time, so it could be likely that the doubts came because they make you feel different things because they are at different stages of the process. If you want to know what they are, in this article you will see what the stages of love and its duration.
Global evaluation of each one.
Another strategy you can follow to choose between two people you love is make a list of the positives and negatives of each of the candidates to be able to observe what you like and what you do not like about each one.
Once you have made the list, it is important that you assign a value to each of the aspects that you have put on it according to the importance they have for you in a relationship. Once this is done, you would get a positive and a negative score for each one, so that you could see, objectively, the side of the list that weighs more for each of them.
Listen to your heart.
How do I know who I really love? value your feelings, how each of the people with whom you have doubts makes you feel and how you are when you are with them. Asking yourself the following questions will help:
- Can I be myself?
- Do I feel comfortable?
- Does it give me peace and tranquility? Or on the contrary, do I get upset when I'm with him/her?
- Do I feel valued and respected?
Appreciate how they feel about you.
Before choosing between two people you love, imagine that you go through the whole process to be able to decide on one or another and it turns out that in the end the one you have chosen did not want anything serious with you and, nevertheless, it is what you you were looking for Therefore, it is important analyze how other people feel about you.
Ask for advice.
When in doubt about how to choose between two options, it is good to talk to close friends or trusted people with whom you can express yourself openly, without hesitation, and explain your situation to them. It is important that listen well to what they tell you and pay attention to it. Although later the final decision will be made by you, do not forget that it is also you who has asked for their advice.
Be patient.
If you've come this far and still have doubts about choosing between two people you love, don't rush. be patient and take all the time you need to be able to decide in the best way and with things as clear as possible. If you need more time, in this article, we tell you how to have more patience.
Give yourself a deadline.
Earlier we discussed the importance of carefully weighing the pros and cons of both candidates and doing so calmly. Anyway, It is important that it does not take us too long choose between two people, since, in general, this situation generates a lot of discomfort, both for us and for the people we have to choose.
Thus, to avoid eternalizing ourselves in the decision, we can try to set a deadline from which we must give an answer. In addition, the more time passes, the more doubts will appear.
Trust your instinct.
Faced with the hard decision of choosing between two people you love, it is necessary to analyze what you think, want and what you and your candidates feel, but it is also important listen to your inside. That feeling that moves us more or less when we are with one of them or the other.
If you want to know more about instincts, don't miss this article on basic instincts of the human being: what they are, types and examples.
Set up a polyamorous relationship.
You can be in love with two people at the same time, and many studies have shown that by nature, the human being is polygamous, that is, he has the ability to love more than one person at the same time. So, instead of choosing between two options, you could ask them if they would be open to it.
If so, could you agree on what kind of polyamorous relationship it goes more with you, always under the consent of all the members that make up the circle of the relationship.
Create an open relationship.
If you have difficulty choosing between two people, and perhaps a polyamorous relationship is too complicated for you, maybe you are open to having an open relationship where you can have sporadic encounters with other people, based on what agree.
At the end it is important that you can communicate with them and you are all in agreement on what you want, so that there are no betrayals involved and you are all comfortable with what you have decided. In this article, we examine whether open relationships work.
Opt for singleness.
If despite thinking about the previous advice on how to choose between two people, you still have doubts, or you are not convinced by any option, perhaps singleness may be what you need. In the end the most important thing is that you are well. Another option can also be to meet new people and start a new stage.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to choose between two people you love, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.
Bibliography
- Alberich Nistal, T. (2019). Polyamory, free love or freedom? Potentialities and difficulties. MLS Psychology Research 2(1), 99-116
- Martínez, A., (2017) «Polyamory under debate». Catalan Magazine of Dret Privat, 17(1), 75-104,
- Sierra, A., (May 19, 2018). Six strategies to choose between two loves. The world.
