Over time, many authors have tried to give a rational explanation to one of the most complex feelings of humanity: love. One of the best known positions is the triangular theory of love, proposed by the American psychologist Robert Sternberg in the year 1986 and that maintains that love is understood through three essential components: intimacy, passion and commitment.
Each of these components acts to manifest different aspects and types of love. In this Psychology-Online article we will delve into what is fatuous love according to Sternberg and the fundamentals of the triangular theory of love, as well as some examples that will help you understand this topic a little more.
Sternberg defines fatuous love as a type of immature love that is based primarily on physical attractiveness. Also, it explains that an individual can experience this type of love at different times, not just with the same person. In any case, he describes it as a feeling similar to falling in love.
In other words, fatuous love, also called crazy love, does not involve emotional commitment, but a idealization motivated by passion, in which the person is treated as if he were perfect without the commitment to long term. It is a trivial love, which has no depth or substance, since what exists is a "whim" regarding a partner or romance.
It is also characterized by the presence of exaggerated illusions, which explains the person's lack of real-world experience or mature judgment. That is to say, there is not the stability and closeness derived from the intimacy that arises throughout true love stories.
If you want to know how to stop idealizing all your relationships, you can consult How to stop idealizing someone.
Sternberg's triangular theory of love is based on the interaction of three essential elements that come together to form different types of love between couples. In addition, each component manifests a different aspect of love. These theoretical foundations are:
- The intimacy: is the bond or closeness that each member of the couple feels for the other. When there is a lot of intimacy, appreciation, commitment and understanding grow. Therefore, the higher emotional intimacy, the warmer the relationship, which will tend to be long-lasting and stable.
- The passion: refers to physical attraction, romanticism and the desire for sexual intimacy. It includes the sources of sexual motivation and arousal experienced by couples in a relationship.
- Commitment or decision: it is a decision at the cognitive level to love another person and to remain attached to a relationship of one's own free will. It includes the willingness to love long term without being committed or to commit to a relationship without acknowledging that you love the other person. Therefore, it is a fully conscious decision.
In addition to fatuous love, Sternberg recognizes in his theory that there are at least seven types of love, each of them with its own characteristics. These forms of love are understood jointly or as isolated entities and are the following:
the not love
This type of love is the one that occurs in casual relationships and that it does not imply any of the components of the couple's interrelationships, but it is evidenced daily in the social interaction of human beings. And this makes sense, since people do not show any kind of love in the brief encounters that occur throughout their lives.
Affection
love is an expression of true love and not trivial, in which intimacy is present. Therefore, it implies closeness and trust, however, it moves away from conscious commitment. It has to do with warmth, closeness and togetherness in the broadest sense of friendship.
obsession or whim
Obsession or caprice is a type of love in which there is a lot of passion, but an absence of commitment and intimacy. It's a love that happens at first sight, which is why Sternberg associates it with the early stages of falling in love.
empty love
Empty love is the fourth type of love that Sternberg proposes in his theory and it has to do with commitment, but without passion and intimacy. For this reason, it is a love that is related to couples who have been together for many years and who decide to stay together without sexual attraction or a bond beyond commitment.
romantic love
Romantic love implies a lot passion and intimacy, however, lacks commitment. This type of love appears when there is an interest in another person, with the addition of passion and sexual attraction.
company love
Also known as social love, companionship is a type of friendship with a long-term responsibility in which commitment and intimacy are present, but without passion or sexual attraction. That is, they are relationships in which the spark and the sexual desire are lost and the decision to keep together prevails.
consummate love
Finally, Sternberg defines consummate love as one in which all three components are present in the relationship. For example, father and son love or marriages that marry for true love, among other cases. It is a love that is difficult to achieve and that, once achieved, can end if the three components are not maintained.
Fatuous love is characterized by being ephemeral and fleeting. This type of love it carries feelings of intense passion, attraction, adoration, and attachment that are not mutual. In this way, while in normal relationships love grows as the couple spends more time together, in fatuous love the same does not happen.
Some examples of fatuous love are:
- A courtship or a lightning marriage: in which commitment is largely motivated by passion, without the stabilizing influence of intimacy.
- Romeo and Juliet in the novel by William Shakespeare: in which the young people met and immediately fell intensely in love.
- A relationship that occurs during a trip: whose correspondence is limited to the existence of casual encounters during the stay.
- Relationships as business propositions: in which economic or power interests are involved, without commitment or intimacy. It is a relationship that resembles a business partnership.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
