Although it is hard for us to admit it, money can become a serious problem in a relationship. I did an informal survey on this once and 30% of people said that it was important that their partner could offer them financial stability. Therefore, it could be said that it is one of the fundamental pillars in a relationship, along with other very important ones such as communication or affection.
For this reason, finding ourselves in the situation where one member of the couple does not want to share the money with the other can generate discomfort and mistrust, but what can we do to solve it? In this Psychology-Online article, we will explain 10 tips to avoid problems with the couple for money.
- Know the economic situation of each one
- Why do you want me to share your money?
- power struggle
- talk it over with your partner
- Know how you would like me to share it
- Hear why you don't want to
- accept disagreement
- Know how important it is for you
- Make a joint account
- Know other aspects
Know the economic situation of each one.
Something important to keep in mind to avoid having problems with your partner about money is know the financial situation each. It may be that he does not want to share his money with you because his salary is lower than yours and, therefore, he may think that he does not have to do so.
Why do you want me to share your money?
Okay, we know he doesn't want to share his money with you, but what's the reason you want him to share his money? Why do you think that everything should belong to both of you and share it? To be able to convey a reason why you want him to share his money with you could make things easier.
Think if behind this need to share money is hidden a power struggle in relationship and money has become the means of proving who "wears the pants." Detecting this will be a big step in being able to face the problem from calm and serenity instead and not so much from anger and imposition.
Talk it over with your partner.
If it is important for you to share your partner's money, communicate it and explain what it means to you to share the economy of both, as well as express how you would like to do it.
In this article you will find How to have a healthy relationship.
Know how you would like me to share it.
There are different ways to share money with your partner, either through gifts or offerings or by sharing it in a joint account. In turn, sometimes the conflict can be a consequence of having a pre-established concept of what it means to share money and how you would like your partner to share it.
However, you should keep in mind that maybe your partner thinks otherwise, with another concept in mind. In this case, it would be important for you to put on the table what each one expects and how to carry it out in order to reach an agreement.
Listen to why you don't want to do it.
It is so important that you can expose your ideas and that he or she listens to them, as the opposite, to be able to listen to their reasons for not doing it if you still think that way or know what your conditions are to be able to share your money.
It may be that even if you talk and explain why it is important for you to share the money, he or she still does not want to share it with you. In this case it will be necessary accept their decision and agree how are you going to function financially without him sharing his money with you. For example, knowing if each one pays their own when you go out to do activities outside, if each day invites one of the couple or what is the way in which you are going to do it.
On the other hand, in the case of live in the same houseIt is also important to agree on how the bills and other household expenses are going to be paid so as not to harm coexistence.
Know how important it is to you.
plant you the importance it has for you being able to share money in a relationship is relevant to see if it is one of the main requirements for you in the relationship, and whether this might call into question maintaining it in the long run term.
Make a common account.
Perhaps a feasible solution could be the creation of a common account in which both of you would enter the same amount of money monthly or weekly for a common goal such as It can be a trip, having a fund for leisure, the purchase of a joint property or any other purpose that is happen.
Know other aspects.
Learn about other aspects and areas that may be affected by your partner not sharing money with you and think about how to solve them, as well as find out if sharing the money is the only solution is to start to solve the conflict or if there is another possibility with which you can both feel comfortable.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to My partner does not want to share his money with me, what do I do?, we recommend that you enter our category of Couple therapy.
- Of God, S., 2019. Money and partner, a combination of care. The mind is wonderful. Recovered from: Money and a partner, a combination of care - Exploring your mind
- Dema, S., 2008. A couple, two salaries. Money and power relations in dual income couples. Monographs Collection, 225 (1), 200-202.
- Guerri, M., 2021. How does money influence the couple's relationship? Psychoactive. Recovered from: How does money influence the relationship? (psychoactiva.com)