10 Tips for Talking to Someone Who Doesn't Want to Talk

  • Apr 02, 2023
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How to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk

Sometimes it can happen that a person does not want to talk. It is likely that you need to remain in this state to internally resolve some conflict and, once resolved, return to your normal interaction state. However, there may be times when, due to a great emotional block due to some experience that has generated great pain, the person withdraws into himself and does not want to talk for a long period of time time. In these cases, it will be advisable for those around her to encourage her to go around the world to get her out of that emotional block.

In this Psychology-Online article, we offer you 10 tips on how to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk, taking into account that with this we refer to people who are emotionally blocked and who need, in some way, help to get out of this state of isolation.

You may also like: How to stop talking to someone without hurting them


  1. Don't force the issue
  2. observe the person
  3. Get emotionally close to the person
  4. Create a climate of trust
  5. be patient
  6. Be respectful
  7. empathize and listen
  8. Express our concern for your silence
  9. Accompany her silence without more
  10. cheer him up and rejoice

Don't force the issue.

Forcing someone to speak when, for whatever reason, she does not want to, produces precisely the opposite effect: it further reinforces the person's mutism. For this reason, as we have previously mentioned, respect this moment of reflection and personal reconstruction it is important as a tool that the person is using to resolve a certain personal conflict.

Observe the person.

Another way to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk is observe the person and see how they act to differentiate if this silence is constructive and adaptive for her or is turning into something that can be negative and harmful for her.

To know if this mutism is starting to be something negative for the person, it will be enough to observe the set of behaviors that surrounds said behavior. For example, excessive sadness, isolation, helplessness (reflect experiences of great sadness or fear), aggressiveness or impulsiveness.

How to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk - Observe the person

Get emotionally close to the person.

Based on the behaviors observed, we will be able to verify if their silence is adaptive or is beginning to become a harmful mechanism for their health. In this second case, with the intention of trying to get her out of the trap in which she is trapped, we will try to get closer to the person emotionally.

This we can do speechless or communicating one way without waitingFor the moment, no response from her but showing compression at all times due to her altered state of mind. conduct and indicating, with our own conduct, our intention to stay by her side and help her in whatever need.

Create a climate of trust.

The ultimate goal of getting closer emotionally to the person is to get create a climate of trust that allows you to relax the isolation mechanism that he is keeping her away from the world and helping her come back to life.

When a person is in a state of emotional disturbance, as this would be the case, the most powerful tool to help them get out of this negative state is to create a climate of trust that will help you break down, little by little, the barriers that keep you blocked and separated from the world.

How to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk - Create a climate of trust

Be patient.

The processes of accompaniment of people who react by withdrawing from the world and stopping speaking as a consequence of a strong experience Emotional disorders are not easy at all, as is the case with most of the accompaniments of psychological disorders or crises. emotional.

In these cases, being patient constitutes a great virtue of the companions who can help to better cope with the path of the affected people. Thus, patiently accompany imbalances and emotional ups and downs It will give you a base of security and confidence on which to try to start a new, more positive and hopeful path.

Be respectful.

Patience implies a attitude of respect towards the injured person. However, respecting or means tolerating the person's aggression towards himself or towards us or any other person, in any way. Limits in this case are, of course, necessary.

Being respectful means taking a compassionate look that sees beyond the overt behavior and understands that the person is not in a good place. moment and that, despite their willingness to change, the road presents obstacles and difficulties to overcome that will cause unbalanced responses in many moments.

Empathize and listen.

In order to get a person who does not want to talk and who has withdrawn strongly into himself, it is essential empathize and try to really listen and see the person and all that she is suffering. In this article you will see how to practice empathy in my life.

Only with this gaze, which, as we have just mentioned, is a patient and respectful gaze that sees far beyond the objective behavior manifested, only In this way it is possible to make an emotional approach to the injured person and show him that, whatever he needs, we are by his side to help you.

How to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk - Empathize and listen

Express our concern about her silence.

If, despite all our good intentions, we fail to break through the wall that she has built and separates her from the world, we will be able to express our real concern for her prolonged and excessive silence. In words and in a soft and above all sincere way we will be able to communicate our concern for her in a make her aware that our intention is really to help her get out of this vexatious state to she.

Accompany your silence without further ado.

Another complementary tool to the previous ones and, in most cases, necessary is accompany your silence. That simply our presence and accompaniment show her, little by little, that we are truly by her side and that, although we understand that Perhaps she is not yet ready to start the return journey, we are willing to wait by her side and accompany her on the way. path.

Cheer him up and rejoice.

Finally, joy it is a great life force that can push us out of any emotional tunnel in which we find ourselves.

Used with sobriety and great empathy, remain in a state of joy, not euphoria, when we are with the person, cheer them up with small gestures and show our joy at the small advances that perform will strengthen your interior and will gradually give you the strength you need to get out of the trap in which you inadvertently chose lock yourself up

How to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk - Cheer him up and be glad

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk, we recommend that you enter our category of Social psychology.

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