What to do if my son is hit and does not defend himself

That your child is beaten and does not defend himself is undoubtedly a situation that causes great defenselessness in us parents. Seeing him suffer without being able to directly intervene in such an unfortunate situation and remedy it is difficult to manage. Although it is very painful to feel that your child is being attacked, we do not want to teach him to defend himself with violence, because it would mean applying the same exchange currency of which he has been a victim and would generate more than suffering and pain. So what can we do in these cases?

The best tool to avoid abuse and bullying during childhood is to provide our son with the personal skills and tools to defend yourself from these possible situations, without using violence unjustified. In this Psychology-Online article, we explain what to do if my son is hit and does not defend himself. We give you 10 tips to provide you with inner strength to face this situation resolutely.

Index

1. Offer comfort and support
2. Help you become aware of the situation
3. Inquire into the possible reasons for the abuse
4. Convey calm and confidence
5. practice assertiveness
6. Teach him to set limits
7. Discuss the issue with parents and teachers
8. Show you how you can ask for help
9. Train the abandonment of fear and helplessness
10. Empathize and be kind to the injured person

The most important thing after going through this unpleasant experience is offer comfort and support to our child and make him understand strongly that he is not alone and that, whatever it may be, this situation is going to be resolved. That our son feels supported and protected by us is a fundamental step that, in itself, strengthens him internally to motivate him in the positive resolution of the abuse situation.

After showing him that he is not alone and that we will be by his side at all times, whatever happens in his life, it will be important help him become aware of the sensitivity of the situation and how inconvenient it is for him to be paralyzed by the abuse suffered.

Make him aware that, although he should not respond with violence, he must act to prevent this situation from happening again, that part of this solution is in his hand, it will also be another resource for internal strengthening for the definitive resolution of the situation.

Another important tool to put an end to such abuse is inquire about the possible reasons that may lead the aggressor to act in this way about our son. This inquiry implies both knowing the aggressor and the possible reasons for his aggression, as well as knowing what current situation our son is experiencing, at a psycho-emotional, school, social level, etc. to understand why he is being bullied and why he is not defending himself.

Knowing the contexts of the two people involved, our son as a victim and the aggressor, we it will give a lot of clues about what is really going on and will help us solve it more efficiently.

Transmit to our son calm and confidence and the feeling that everything is going to be fine is a task to be carried out in situations such as the one described throughout this article.

If you are allowing yourself to be attacked without defending yourself, it is possible that you are not going through a good moment, so Getting him to reach a generalized state of calm and confidence will mean a good part of the resolution of the problem. problem.

Another efficient strategy against any type of abuse is practice assertiveness, which allows us to communicate in a peaceful and respectful way towards others and, at the same time, without tolerating any type of abuse on us.

Being assertive is not easy, but it can be learned so that practicing this communicative style with our children It will be a very valuable tool to solve this situation and many others that may occur in your path of life. Here we explain What is assertiveness and examples.

Put the necessary limits to others so that they do not commit any abuse on us is also part of assertiveness. Given the situation we are talking about, teaching our son to set the necessary limits to protect himself from undue aggression will be essential to cope with these situations.

In addition to working on all these aspects with our son, it will be necessary notify the situation to parents and/or teachers involved in the context of the situation. Involving all the adults responsible for this situation is necessary to resolve conveniently the problem and as a means of social awareness that makes visible the unjustified abuses.

In addition to equipping our son with all the named tools, it is also important indicate the different ways through which he can ask for help in the event that said situation is attempted to occur again, leaving any fear aside and with the strength that comes from the confidence that everything will turn out well.

For example, go to your teacher, the school principal, any friend or classmate, to call us, to ask for help from whoever passes by, etc. Tell him that using any of these options is actually a very brave gesture that allows him to take care of himself, confront the aggressor with his inappropriate and antisocial behavior and be a living example of action for future victims of aggression or bullying.

Here you will find more information about the Types of bullying and its consequences.

Everything said so far represents tools that will allow our son to fight against fear and defenselessness. When fear disappears, the inner strength of the person resurfaces and the brute force of the aggressor loses all its meaning. Working in this sense will allow to heal the base of insecurity on which, surely, the abuse suffered by our son is based.

One last and no less important tool to empower our son and provide him with the means that allow him to resolve the abuse situation in a peaceful and respectful way is to help him become aware of how the aggressor himself is a victim of his own insecurities and abuse and that his behavior is nothing more than an irrational response to his fear and an attempt to protect and survive in an environment that he perceives as dangerous and threatening.

That our son can integrate this look at the aggressor will help him adopt a compassionate look towards him that can contribute favorably to a possible behavioral reinsertion of the aggressor. That our son feels like his assertive and empathic behavior is helping to improve the behavior of the person of whom he has been a victim supposes a great personal satisfaction that will strengthen him enormously. In the following article we explain How to overcome insecurity.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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