10 Phrases you should not say to someone with anxiety

It is not easy to see someone you love suffer daily due to anxiety. Anxious symptoms are often disabling not only for the sufferer, but also for friends, colleagues, and relatives. It is then that the desire to help the anxious person alleviate this suffering arises, but often we do not know what to do to help effectively.

In addition, people with anxiety have a tendency to close themselves off and avoid social relationships or, conversely, to be highly dependent on the help of others. Would you like to help someone with anxiety and don't know how to do it? In this Psychology-Online article, we will show you a suggestion on what to say and what not to say to someone with anxiety.

Index

1. How to talk to someone with anxiety
2. Phrases that should not be said to a person with anxiety
3. What can you say to a person with anxiety?

When we see people close to us suffer, the desire to help them alleviate the suffering caused by anxiety arises. In these cases, even if you go with the best intentions, if you don't use the right words, the remedy can be worse than the disease.

In fact, being in contact with friends or relatives who suffer from anxiety disorders can be complicated if you do not know the mechanisms that cause emotional discomfort associated with such disorders. Even so, your role can be decisive in helping those who suffer to gain awareness, to ask for help and not to feel guilty or helpless due to anxiety.

Sometimes the desire to see the other person better makes us rush to give advice and directions and we don't see what the other person really needs. So, if you are wondering what to do with a person who suffers from anxiety, simply listen to him and transmit openness, availability and acceptance so that she sees that she can speak freely and without fear of being judged.

Let her know that how you feel about her and what you think of her is not going to change. Only later, when the time is right, will it be appropriate for you to give them advice and opinions. If you want to know more, we recommend you read this article about how to help someone with anxiety.

It is not easy to know what to say to a person with anxiety, let alone what not to say. Next, we will show you a list of phrases that it is better to avoid in these situations:

• "Are you OK? Are you OK?". During an anxiety attack, the heart beats as fast as it can, the whole body is tense, the hands shake and breathing seems to be short. Therefore, it is better to avoid asking the person how he is doing or if he is fine because no, he is not well and he thinks that the world is collapsing under his feet. To understand it better, in this article you will see what are the effects of anxiety on the body.
• "There's no reason to worry". It is clear that there is a reason, it may seem absurd and absolutely irrational, but at such moments it is not so easy for a person to observe what is happening with detachment. In addition, it is a phrase that could bother a lot.
• "For! Why don't you relax?". If it were that simple, I would have done it already. Expressions of this type are also particularly disturbing. Certainly not what an anxious person wants to hear from someone who is supposed to love them.
• "Do not think it!". The problem is this, that you can't stop thinking about it. Most of the time a person with anxiety knows that her fears and anxieties are unfounded and amplified and the problem is that you cannot - or at least not always - separate yourself from your little emotions. rational.
• "You are exaggerating, nothing happened". Often an anxious person knows that she has unusual reactions. Therefore, it can feel different, strange, anomalous. Emphasizing that the reaction is exaggerated certainly doesn't help.
• "How heavy are you". One of the thoughts that can agitate those who suffer from anxiety the most is being a burden, hurting the people who are next to them with their own behaviors and being unbearable. Therefore, this is one of the phrases that should not be said to a person with anxiety, since it can touch and damage deeply.
• Avoid using your fear as guilt. "You haven't graduated yet because of anxiety", "You don't drive because you have anxiety" or "You no longer have a normal life because you have anxiety". This attitude marks the person as a victim of the problem.
• Avoid killer phrases like "But it's nothing", "Relax", "Stay calm", "It's all in your mind", "Why do you think so much?" or "Why don't you have something to relax?"
• Stop asking the person "Do you want to talk about it? I hear you!": This is a mistake because it is like throwing a special fertilizer on the plant of fear. In fact, talking about the problem will only maximize it. If the anxious person feels the need to talk about it, only then is it important to provide a set space and time to listen. However, for the rest of the day, the main indication is the spell of silence, that is, not to talk about the problem at all.
• Avoid extreme security of the type "everything will be fine", but also replace the person in the various activities, keep asking how they are doing and continually observe them, or suggesting drugs or continuously accompanying her to the emergency department or to the doctor will not help calm her anxiety.

When in doubt about what to say to a person when they have anxiety, it is important to listen well because they themselves could suggest what is best to say at that time. Sometimes it's just better to stay silent and wait for it all to pass. Still, in general, the best attitude is be patient, present and available.

If you can just listen to what the other is saying, you are already offering great support. Here are some suggestions of what to say to a person with anxiety:

• "I am here with you" and "You are not alone" They are phrases that can remind the person that they are not abandoned to face their fears and that you are there with them.
• "Remember how many times you've been through this". Taking advantage of past experiences and reminding him of how many crises he has managed to overcome will make him aware that what he is experiencing is just a passing sensation that will end soon.
• "You are safe". With this phrase you can give stability to the person when they are agitated and make them feel more protected.
• "You will see that soon it will pass", but at the same time "Take your time, there's no rush". Each situation requires different times. Anxiety is temporary, but you should not rush to finish it, because it could be counterproductive.
• Avoid killer phrases like "But it's nothing", "Relax", "Stay calm", "It's all in your mind", "Why do you think so much?" or "Why don't you have something to relax?" These phrases can be replaced with a "I'm here for you", "I know it's complicated", "I will not leave you alone", "I'll help you get over it", "I can't imagine how hard this is for you," or "I don't judge you."

In the best of cases, the person will already have started a therapeutic course. If so, ask them to share the agreed-upon strategies with the therapist so that you can suggest them in times of crisis. If you want to better understand what people with this type of disorder experience, in this article you will find information about the types of anxiety and their symptoms.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What to say and what not to say to someone with anxiety, we recommend that you enter our category of Clinical psychology.

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