10 Differences between love and obsession

  • Apr 02, 2023
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How to know if it's love or obsession

Love is such a deep and great feeling that it is capable of altering the chemistry of the organism to such an extent that hormones flood our bloodstream and that gives way to different reactions. The detail is that there is a very fine line between love and obsession, which is often overlooked without measuring the consequences.

Although you may think that love and obsession are the same, the truth is that they are two very different concepts. In healthy relationships, anxiety about the beginning of the relationship disappears over time. Therefore, if you or your partner are not sure how you feel about the relationship, in this Psychology-Online article, we will teach you how to know if it's love or obsession.

You may also like: How do I know if I have an obsession with a person?

Index

  1. What is love
  2. what is obsession
  3. What are the differences between love and obsession

What is love.

Love is an emotion associated with strong feelings of tenderness, affection and affection that manifests itself towards a person or towards something that is loved. According to

American Psychological Association (APA)[1], is an expression that can take different forms, including signs of care and identification towards others, be it the father, mother, children, partner or friends, among others.

Because it is such a broad concept, researchers have put forward different theories to explain the types of love, which include passionate, erotic, brotherly love, self-love and other forms that respond to individual perception.

How love manifests itself

Love is a feeling that born voluntarily and that tends to put the well-being of the loved one above. It manifests itself through pleasant sensations that are experienced when we are in the presence of the loved one. This also includes physical symptoms such as increased oxytocin, increased pulse and heart rate, as well as a feeling of calm and peace.

What is obsession

The obsession are repetitive and intrusive thoughts about a fixed idea, which generate uncontrollable impulses that translate into a state of anxiety and permanent insecurity, when imagining negative scenarios in the relationship. It is a highly toxic idealization where the need for absolute control over the partner arises.

How obsession manifests itself

With obsession, love is confused with sacrifice and total dedication, which includes going over the well-being of the couple. Those who suffer from an obsession forget about the problems of real life and plunge into a spiral of thoughts, such as paranoia over infidelity or distance, need to control the couple's routines, among other actions that are negative for all kinds of relationships.

In this article, we tell you how to get over an obsession with someone.

How to know if it is love or obsession - What is obsession

What are the differences between love and obsession.

How to know if it is love or obsession? At the beginning of relationships, it is difficult to identify if it is one thing or the other. However, below, you will see the main differences between love and obsession so that, applying emotional intelligence, you know how to identify each of these emotions.

  1. Regarding the consolidation of plans: when there is healthy love in a relationship, the parties can dedicate themselves to achieving their own personal development, regardless of the plans they have as a couple. In this sense, the relationship does not limit personal growth. For its part, obsession tends to limit individual decisions, considering that the couple does not have the right to make their own decisions.
  2. Regarding communication: love allows people to openly express their emotions, feelings and moods, without the fear that this will fracture the relationship. While, with the obsession, communication is limited, since one of the two is afraid to say what he feels. In addition, the obsessive can hardly start or end the day without talking to the other person, so communication becomes a way to release the obsession.
  3. Regarding your actions: when love is reciprocal and balanced, all parties give and receive equally, they are not even interested in obtaining anything in return, other than their partner's own well-being. On the other hand, those who are obsessed live pending giving and giving, which is why they overwhelm their partner in order to receive her approval at all times.
  4. As for affection and control: Although love is linked to displays of affection and affection, it does not imply absolute control over the loved one. Instead, the obsession shifts from affection to need for control and it is linked to a need for authority that has nothing to do with the care and consideration of love.
  5. As for individual space:When there is love, couples respect individual space and try not to interfere in the other person's decisions, unless requested to do so. With obsession, respect for individual space disappears, leading to the appearance of jealousy and paranoia about separation.
  6. Regarding self esteem: Another of the differences between love and obsession is that relationships based on love are the basis for raising the self-esteem, since those involved complement and balance each other to help find the best version of themselves themselves. While the obsession causes the other person to be perceived as an element that, if it is not present, makes life meaningless.
  7. As for the reason: when a person is obsessed with another, she will not contradict him in her actions or ideas, even if they are incorrect. This causes them to fall into an idealization that can be very negative. While, in relationships based on healthy love, people feel comfortable and confident to be honest, without falling into abuse or disrespect.
  8. As for the sensations: he true love It is accompanied by strong and comforting emotions such as affection, peace, tranquility, stability, calm, etc. While obsession brings consequences such as the sensation of suffocation, suffocation limitation and control, which generally leads to anxiety, stress or separation.
  9. Regarding emotional management: When the person is obsessive, they will not take no for an answer and will not know how to handle rejection. For example, they often threaten a possible breakup or behave irrationally if the partner asks for a little space. With love, couples can communicate to give their own time and even recognize when they are not compatible to let the other go their way.
  10. Regarding time with your loved ones: when couples truly love each other, never demand that the other person stay away from their family or their friends. But whoever is obsessive will claim all the attention of her partner, to the point of forbidding her to meet or deal with her loved ones.

Likewise, whoever truly loves will make an effort to make you happy, but whoever is obsessive will want to rush everything in the relationship to have absolute control of your life. In short, be careful with obsessive relationships and identify them in time to get out of that harmful circle.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to know if it's love or obsession, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.

References

  1. Dictionary of the American Psychological Society (APA). Definition of love. Available in: https://dictionary.apa.org/love
  2. Dictionary of the American Psychological Society (APA). definition of obsession Available in: https://dictionary.apa.org/lovehttps://dictionary.apa.org/obsession

Bibliography

  • Brella, M. E., Brizzio, A., & Carreras, M. TO. (2004). Attitudes towards love and attachment. Psychodebate. Psychology, Culture and Society, (4), 7-23.
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