What is the sandwich technique in psychology and how to apply it

Many times, for fear that our opinion will not be well received, we do things we don't want or tolerate certain behaviors that harm or hurt us. On the contrary, it may also be that we say things very tactlessly, without taking the other person into account.

We do not have to accept behaviors that hurt us, nor can we always have the same opinion as others. It's okay to have disagreements and express them, however, sometimes it's not just about “what” you say, but “how” you say it. This nuance is important because it can cause you to arrive differently to the other person. In this Psychology-Online article we will talk about what is the sandwich technique, what is it for and how to apply it Step by Step.

Index

1. What is the sandwich technique
2. What is the sandwich technique for?
3. How to apply the sandwich technique

The sandwich technique consists of using sincere praise, or the expression of positive feelings, before and after expressing something that may upset the interlocutor. According to the psychologist Elia Roca

This technique allows you to mediate with the other person in a friendly and to be able to say what bothers you or it causes you discomfort from his behavior without being aggressive, which allows a assertive communication style. Specifically, the sandwich technique consists of three steps:

1. Formulating a sincere compliment: A genuine and true compliment is expressed about the other person in a clear and concise way. The situation is defined or something positive about the other person is commented.
2. Behavior Change Petition: develops and explains the criticism or request towards the other person.
3. Expression of positive feeling and proposition of alternatives: ends by explaining a positive proposal, with words of encouragement and confidence.

In this way, something positive is commented at the beginning and at the end of the interaction, and in between the criticism or request is expressed assertively. For this reason, it is called the sandwich technique, since it resembles the layers that make up this food.

Example of the sandwich technique

So that you better understand the steps of the sandwich technique, we will show you a practical example:

1. I understand that today you had a bad day at the university, I am very sorry that you did not pass the exam.
2. But I don't like the way you've talked to me. Please talk to me in a more respectful way.
3. I know that you will take it into account and you will try not to repeat it. Talking to each other with respect strengthens our relationship. I trust you.

The sandwich technique is a conscious and sensitive communication strategy to which all people can resort to transform our relationships as a couple, with friends, family and co-workers.

The sandwich technique is a strategy used to modify behavior from the positive reinforcement. This resource helps us express negative criticism without it being badly received by the other person. In addition, this communication strategy is important because it emphasizes the positive without hiding the negative and allows expressing it in an appropriate and healthy way.

Relationships grow stronger when you express your needs and thrive when both people feel accepted. In this sense, the feedback of the sandwich takes into account tact and empathy when communicating. We all have problems to solve in relationships no matter how good the partner, friends, family, etc. For this, we need have difficult conversations, but with tact, empathy and respect.

Next, we give you a series of important tips so that you know how to apply the sandwich technique correctly:

• It is a type of assertive communication, where we express our rights, opinions, ideas, needs and feelings in a conscious, clear, honest and sincere way, without hurting or harming others.
• It is not intended to be false or simply to silence others. As we have specified in the first point, one of the bases of the sandwich technique is sincerity and not hiding important information, even though it may offend the interlocutor.
• Petitions are usually better received than demands: Generally, people do not like to feel that they are ordered or commanded to do something.
• Try to express how you feel without accusing the other and speaking from the "I": "I feel" instead of "you make me feel".
• Focus on a single dilemma: We can have many problems simultaneously that can be overwhelming for us and others. The best way to communicate is to share one problem at a time. Too many change requests at once make them seem impossible to resolve.
• Try to propose alternatives to your critique: when making a proposal for change or constructive criticism, try to propose alternatives to the person to that the entire weight of the improvement of the relationship does not fall on her, and see the real possibility of improving the situation.
• tolerance is essential: try to act more thoughtful and less reactive to comments to avoid tension and a possible escalation of conflict. In this article you will see how to be more tolerant.
• Try to keep a calm tone of voice. and use breaks when you need it. It's normal to get overwhelmed by shouting and loud voices. Also, it is somewhat unproductive and hurtful. If the conversation gets tense, take a break and pick it up again when both parties are calmer.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What is the sandwich technique in psychology and how to apply it, we recommend that you enter our category of Social psychology.

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• Orloff, J. (2017). The empath's survival guide: Life strategies for sensitive people. Sounds True.