8 tips for dealing with nullifying people

Nullifying people could be included within the current concept of "toxic people" since they are people that, due to their particular characteristics, end up annulling and depriving everyone who approaches them of their vital force. they. As with any other type of toxic person in addition to this nullifying profile, these people actually act in this way. way due to different unconscious mechanisms created from endless traumatic experiences blows and shortcomings childish. Although there is currently a general trend to promote getting away from toxic people to free ourselves from their "toxicity" and to be able to develop healthily, from this article we want to expose another more healing and reconciling.

In the following Psychology-Online article we are going to present some advice on how to deal with nullifying people so that we can all benefit and improve.

Index

1. Become aware of what it generates in me
2. Analyze if my defensive mechanisms feed theirs
3. Accept that you are a victim of your mechanisms
4. Work to keep ourselves in a constant state of calm
5. be compassionate
6. Appreciate the positive qualities of the person
7. set clear boundaries
8. Stay in the battle until the end

As the first and most important step to take into account, we must become aware of what my interaction provokes in me with this person to protect us. Once all the blows and injuries suffered have been located, we will look for resources that allow us to prevent these attacks, protect ourselves from them or, ultimately, alleviate and heal them without letting the pain suffered nest in our inside.

Here are some resources that can be very useful in this regard:

• Have a social support network (family and friends) with whom to be able to express the torments and jointly seek constructive solutions.
• Practice breathing and relaxation techniques that will serve as a shield and help us to recover after possible blows.
• Taking care of our health in an integral way (good eating habits, moderate and regular exercise, emotional care, etc.) that will keep us strong in the face of different situations.

Sometimes, the different defensive mechanisms of people are intertwined, strengthening both unbalanced functions. A very obvious case (although it does not occur in 100% of cases) is when an aggressive and impulsive person establishes a relationship with another person with passive mechanisms, with insecurity and low self-esteem.

Both mechanisms feed back permanently as long as there is no one to intervene to break said vicious interaction. Thus, in this case it will be important to assess whether there are wounds within us that make us submissive to the nullifying attitude of the person with whom we interact.

It may not be the case, but if so, it will be important to carry out personal care and healing work that builds a new and positive image of ourselves. This tool, in itself, will already be a great shield against nullifying people.

In the same way, instead of continually living in anguish over the comments or attitudes of this type of people, with all the negative consequences that all this will produce in our lives, can try to create a new look over the canceling person and consider him a victim of his own defensive mechanisms that, after all, try to protect him from his own childhood fantasies.

This new look can suppose a great shield against the possible damages suffered. However, it is not necessary to justify all the attitudes of the person and in some cases it will be necessary to cut the relationship.

Working on a permanent state of calm is something beneficial for human beings in any area of ​​their lives. In the particular case of dealing with interactions with nullifying people, strive to remain calm permanently it will help the blows have no effect on us and, in turn, from our state of calm, we will be able to redirect the situation towards another, calmer and more advantageous solution for all.

Maintaining a state of inner peace does not mean remaining insensitive to what is happening around us. Quite the contrary. This state of calm allows us properly self-manage our interior and help our neighbors to manage their disruptive situations.

By adopting this new look and attitude towards people who adopt such behavior, compassion arises almost automatically as its own human need for help and improvement of others. Love, in this case manifested to the care of the other, is the best medicine to cure any type of ailment in our souls.

In this article you will find more information about What is compassion and how to develop it.

Another important aspect that can go a long way to appease the negative cancellation mechanism used by this person is to feed and strengthen the positive qualities available to this person. person. All human beings are endowed with good gifts. For all this, help the nullifying person to focus her attention on her positive aspects. It will reinforce these aspects and reduce defensive functioning.

When dealing with nullifying people it is essential set limits on a personal level (and externally if necessary) so as not to allow any situation that exceeds the limits of respect for human dignity at any time.

Establishing clear limits that do not allow any type of abuse will protect us against this attitude defensive but also, in itself, reduce the strength, frequency and intensity of this functioning negative.

So that everything said in this article runs favorably, patience must become our best ally, as long as it does not pose a threat to our personal or physical integrity. We are aware that addressing all of the above is by no means an easy task.

This new lifestyle in front of toxic people is actually a joint work of care and mutual improvement that, once integrated, can be an interesting work of social improvement where it prevails, care in the face of violence, unity in the face of separation, compassion in the face of judgment, patience in the face of impulsiveness and love in the face of fear.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to deal with nullifying people, we recommend that you enter our category of Personal growth and self-help.

• Stamateas, B. (2014) "Toxic people: How to identify and treat people who complicate your life to fully relate." Publisher B of Books.