8 tips for dealing with a person with avoidant attachment

  • May 30, 2023
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How to deal with an avoidantly attached person

In the field of relationships, each person has their own attachment styles, which influence the way they bond emotionally with others. One of these styles is avoidant attachment, characterized by a tendency to avoid intimacy and maintain a certain emotional distance in relationships. Dealing with an avoidantly attached person can be difficult, as they often have difficulty expressing their feelings and making deep emotional connections. However, understanding this attachment style and learning to relate appropriately can facilitate communication and foster healthier bonds.

In this Psychology-Online article we offer you 8 tips that will help you know how to treat a person with avoidant attachment so that you can have a healthy relationship.

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Index

  1. Respect your personal space
  2. Be patient and understanding
  3. Avoid direct confrontations
  4. speak clearly
  5. Promotes their autonomy
  6. show yourself trustworthy
  7. Set healthy boundaries
  8. Build emotional security gradually

Respect their personal space.

Avoidantly attached people value their space and autonomy. Therefore, avoid pressuring them to share more than they feel comfortable explaining. Allow them to set limits and respect their need for alone time.

However, personal space refers not only to physical distance, but also to emotional privacy. In this sense, avoid asking too personal questions or insisting on immediate emotional responses and allow share your feelings and thoughts at your own pace, without pressuring you to open up more than you want at the time moment.

By giving them space to reflect on and process their own emotions, you give them the opportunity to share them with you when they feel prepared. Here you will find more information about the Avoidant attachment: what it is and how to overcome it.

How to deal with an avoidantly attached person - Respect their personal space

Be patient and understanding.

Avoidantly attached people may have difficulty expressing their feelings and emotions, so be patient and try provide a safe environment free of judgments so that the person with this type of attachment can be gradually opened as you feel more comfortable.

Similarly, avoid criticizing or judging their emotions or emotional responses. Instead, show empathy and understanding, acknowledging that each person has their own coping process and ways of expressing themselves emotionally.

Avoid direct confrontations.

Avoidantly attached people may feel overwhelmed by intense emotional confrontations or arguments. Therefore, instead of addressing problems directly, try to focus on resolution of conflicts rationally and give you space to express your concerns in a more comfortable way.

When communicating with people with this type of attachment, try to remain calm and avoid raising your voice or using aggressive language. These people are often overwhelmed by intense emotional discussions and may withdraw or shut down even more when faced with direct conflict.

Speak to him clearly.

Although avoidantly attached people may avoid deep emotional conversations, they value clear and direct communication. For this reason, another tip for relating to someone who is avoidantly attached is be clear with your words and avoid ambiguity. This will allow them to better understand your expectations and needs.

is also positive show yourself receptiveor before what the other person wants to communicate to you. Listen carefully to what they have to say and show genuine interest in understanding their perspective. In short, encourage that person to express her thoughts and emotions openly and without fear of being judged.

Promotes her autonomy.

Avoidantly attached people value their independence and need to feel in control of their own lives, so Encouraging and supporting their independence and autonomy is another aspect to take into account when dealing with an attached person. avoidant. For it, recognizes and values ​​her ability to take care of herself yourself and make decisions for yourself. In this way, you will help him strengthen his identity and develop a stronger sense of autonomy.

On the other hand, encourage him to trust his judgment and his ability to make decisions. To boost your self-esteem and build self-confidence, you can also Highlight your accomplishments and successes or let him know that you trust his abilities to achieve the goal he wants. In this article you will find more information about How to improve self-esteem.

How to treat a person with avoidant attachment - Promotes their autonomy

Show yourself trustworthy.

People with avoidant attachment may have experienced disappointment or trauma in the past that made it difficult for them to trust others. Be consistent in your actions and words, show them that you are a person they can trust and ask for help with what they need.

At the same time try to fulfill your commitments and promises y Avoid sudden changes of opinion or unpredictable behavior. Consistency in your behavior will give them security and help them trust you. In other words, by being honest you will establish a solid foundation of trust and show that you can be someone they can fully trust.

Set healthy boundaries.

keep some clear and healthy boundaries in the relationship. This will help establish a dynamic of mutual respect and prevent the avoidantly attached person from feeling overwhelmed or invaded. Avoid being invasive or insisting on having an emotional closeness that they are not willing to give it to you at that moment. It is about finding a balance that is respectful for both parties.

Communicate openly and honestly about your needs and expectations, and listen to the needs and limits of the avoidantly attached person. This will help build a relationship where you both feel comfortable and respected.

How to Deal with an Avoidantly Attached Person - Set Healthy Boundaries

Build emotional security gradually.

Finally, as the relationship develops you should gradually work to foster the emotional security of the avoidantly attached person. This can be done by providing emotional support, active listening their concerns and showing empathy towards their feelings.

Be a calming presence and show understanding when he expresses his concerns or insecurities and try to put yourself in their shoes and understand how they may be experiencing certain situations or emotions. Empathy helps build a sense of connection and trust in the relationship.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to deal with an avoidantly attached person, we recommend that you enter our category of Clinical psychology.

Bibliography

  • Medina, C. J. (2016). Adult attachment and the perceived quality of couple relationships: evidence from a young adult population. Redalyc.org. http://www.redalyc.org/articulo.oa? id=439749582005
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