The 5 phases of loving grief and its meaning

  • Jun 27, 2023
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The phases of loving grief and its meaning

Love is an emotional experience deeply rooted in human life, capable of bringing us unmatched joy and happiness, but when love is lost, Whether through a breakup, divorce, or the death of a loved one, we find ourselves on a challenging emotional journey known as grief. loving. Throughout this process, people experience a series of phases that follow recognizable and universal patterns. Each stage has a purpose and a function in our search for reconciliation and emotional rebirth. By navigating these phases with patience and support we can move forward and find a new sense of fulfillment and happiness in our lives.

In this Psychology-Online article, we will explore in depth the phases of loving grief and its meaning. Understanding the phases of loving grief and what it means gives us a greater perspective on our own healing process.

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  1. Denial
  2. Gonna
  3. Negotiation
  4. Sadness
  5. Acceptance

1. Denial.

Denial is the first phase of loving mourning and is characterized by the

initial inability to accept loss of love. It is common that at this stage we find ourselves in a state of shock and resist believing that the relationship has come to an end. We feel as if we are in a dream that we want to wake up from, hoping that everything is just a bad nightmare.

During denial, we may try to find alternative explanations or justifications for the situation, looking for any cues that allow us to deny reality. We may cling to the hope of a reconciliation or ignore obvious signs that the relationship is over.

This phase of denial is a form of emotional protection that allows us to assimilate the loss gradually. It is like a temporary barrier that allows us to gradually adapt to the new reality, since suddenly facing the reality of the breakup can be overwhelming.

The phases of loving mourning and its meaning - 1. Denial

2. Gonna.

The anger phase is an intense and challenging stage of loving grief. As denial begins to fade, they begin to emerge repressed emotions, such as anger, which is one of the most common emotional responses. During this phase, we feel deeply hurt and experience an overwhelming sense of injustice.

Anger can manifest itself in various ways. It can be directed towards the loved one, towards oneself or towards any other person or circumstance related to the loss. we meet in a volatile emotional state, and it is possible that we feel irritable, resentful or full of anger, even coming to experience desires for revenge or to hurt others.

Allowing ourselves to feel and express anger in healthy ways can be part of the healing process. For this, it is crucial to find constructive ways to channel and manage anger, avoiding harmful actions or words towards ourselves or others. Seeking emotional support from friends, family, or mental health professionals can help us explore our emotions, process pain, and find healthy coping strategies. control anger.

The phases of loving mourning and its meaning - 2. Gonna

3. Negotiation.

The negotiation phase is a stage in which we actively seek solutions and answers to help us recover what was lost in the loving duel. During this phase, we are in a reflective state and explore different scenarios with hoping to find a way to reverse the loss or change the course of events. events.

At this stage, it is usual for us to become promises or commitments ourselves or a loved one. We also ask ourselves what we could have done differently and if there is still a chance of reconciliation and we feel an urgency to find a way out or a solution to avoid the painful reality of loss.

On the other hand, negotiation can be a defense mechanism that helps us deal with pain and uncertainty, gives us the feeling of having some control over the situation and gives us a space to process our emotions in a more manageable way. Accepting that it is something irremediable can be painful, but it is a necessary step to move towards the next one. mourning phase loving.

4. Sadness.

After anger and bargaining, it is common for us to experience a deep sadness that is constantly with us. It's about a time of introspection and reflection on shared memories and the happy moments that are now missed.

In other words, in this phase we face the reality of the loss and experience a overwhelming feeling of emptiness, hopelessness and pain. We may experience loss of interest in activities we once enjoyed, changes in sleep patterns, lack of energy, and difficulty concentrating, frequent crying, feelings of loneliness and a general feeling of regret.

In any case, it is important to allow ourselves to feel and express sadness in a healthy way. Crying, talking to loved ones, or seeking professional support are valuable ways to process our emotions and ease the emotional weight we are carrying. Sadness is a natural part of the grieving process and it is necessary to allow ourselves to live it and go through it.

The phases of loving mourning and its meaning - 4. Sadness

5. Acceptance.

The acceptance phase is the turning point in the process of loving grief. After going through denial, anger, bargaining, and sadness, we begin to come to a place of acceptance of the reality of the loss and of our new situation without the loved one. Although we may still experience sadness and nostalgia, we become more capable of facing the situation with serenity.

At this stage we can also begin to find a sense of inner peace and reconciliation. We accept our emotions and allow them to flow instead of resisting them. Acceptance gives us a sense of liberation and allows us to move toward a future without the constant emotional burden of loss. Although moments of sadness may still arise, we have integrated the experience into our lives and have grown stronger through the grieving process.

Acceptance does not necessarily imply that we forget or stop loving the person we lost, but that we learn to live with the absence and to move on with our lives and open ourselves to new possibilities for personal growth and relationship building healthy. Remember that grief is an individual and unique process that each person experiences in a unique way. Here you will find more information about How to overcome a break of couple.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to The phases of loving grief and its meaning, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.


  • De la Rubia, J. M., and Avila, M. m. (2015). Empirical contrast of the Kübler-Ross five phases of grief model in women with cancer. Psychological Thinking, 13(1).
  • Gomez, J. M., Cano, M., Cantillo, M. L. S., and Suárez, Y. b. (2021). Love Mourning, Emotional Dependence and Mental Health in women who have ended a relationship. psychological reports, 21(1), 101-116.
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