Why does my partner want to make me jealous?

Romantic jealousy is a set of thoughts, feelings and actions that appear when it is perceived that the relationship is threatened by a possible rival. It is normal to feel jealous in a relationship when you care about your partner and you are afraid of losing them, however, it is very often jealousy becomes a problem when deliberately provoked and managed evil.

In this Psychology-Online article we focus on induced jealousy, that is, when one of the members of the couple tries to generate it in the other. Why does my partner want to make me jealous? Why do you want me to be jealous, when it could hurt our relationship? Next, we explain the reasons why this happens.

Index

1. Seeks to test the relationship
2. Has latent insecurities
3. need power and control
4. Seeks attention or a reaction from you
5. You are dissatisfied with the relationship
6. Want revenge and/or punish
7. wants to end the relationship
8. have an affair
9. He is afraid of abandonment

Studies carried out by White^[1]and, later, by Fleischmann and his collaborators^[2], showed that the most frequent motivation to provoke jealousy is to test the relationship, in an attempt to confirm the couple's feelings and commitment.

In another study conducted at the University of California at Santa Cruz, Dainton and Gross^[3], asked the participants how they tried to maintain their relationships and the evocation of jealousy in order to check the status of the relationship. This was one of the most common methods referred to. In short, many people try to make their partners jealous to measure your commitment in the relationship.

When an adult brags to her partner that other people care about him, it's important to ask what motivates this attitude. Often behind the need to brag ostentatiously about their attractiveness and magnetism, there are latent insecurities that manifest themselves in this maladaptive way.

Why does a man want to make a woman jealous? If your partner is trying to make you jealous, they may want to make you see that they are "in demand" because other people are interested in them. However, although seductive people are often seen by others as self-assured, it doesn't really have to be that way.

Behind exaggerated attempts to show their attractiveness and how "in demand" they are, there is usually a huge ego, but at the same time is unstable and brittle. It is not sustained by itself, since it is dependent on the opinion of others. This behavior may be associated with dependent personality disorder that we explain in this article.

For these types of people it can be difficult to take responsibility for their feelings and they ask for more attention and affection from their partner, which is why they resort to this “strategy”. Because of their need for approval, they make their partner jealous. to boost your self-esteem and reaffirm her value.

One of the signs that he wants to make you jealous is that he wants to have power and control in the relationship. Intentionally inducing jealousy in a partner can be a tactic to manage the other person in order to get what he wants.

So, if your partner provokes jealousy to get attention, he/she may want you to increase your efforts and attention towards him/her to maintain your interest. This strategy causes an imbalance in the relationship, since it is a highly harmful form of manipulation. In this article, we tell you how is a manipulative person and how to unmask it.

Manipulation is never a good way to gain another person's attention because it never really closes a bond. That is only possible through honesty and vulnerability.

If you wonder why my partner wants to make me jealous, one of the most common reasons is that It seeks to attract your attention and that you dedicate time to it. He may be trying to make you jealous so you'll react. The aforementioned study, led by Fleischmann, states that some people try to make their partners jealous into engaging in compensatory behavior.

Why does a man want to make a woman jealous? Some of the objectives could be the following:

• He wants you to put more effort into the relationship.
• Seek to get more involved.
• He wants you to dedicate more time and attention to him.
• He needs you to be more affectionate.

In this sense, the rewards that your partner could seek could be to alleviate their anguish by fearing that you are no longer interested, confirm that you are still in love and committed to your relationship, that you react to improve the quality of your relationship, etc

Does jealousy cause dissatisfaction in a relationship? Does being dissatisfied in your relationship cause jealousy? According to Ayala Malach Pines^[4], both situations are possible. The Israeli psychologist explains that jealousy brings dramatic and conflictive situations and causes dissatisfaction in the relationship.

In addition, he also argues that unsatisfactory relationships make people more likely to experience jealousy due to the instability of the relationship. In this article we delve into the jealousy in the couple: why it occurs and how to eliminate it.

Why does my girlfriend want to make me jealous? If she is upset with you because of some of your behavior that has caused her discomfort, or even herself she is jealous because you have caused her to feel jealous, it is possible that she wants to reciprocate that negativity. If that happens, she will want to punish you and make you jealous.

In this sense, your partner could make you jealous through revenge or through punishment, so she will intentionally want to hurt you. This behavior is highly harmful, toxic and detrimental to both parties, so it should not be tolerated under any circumstances. If you want to avoid this situation, we recommend you read this article on how to overcome retrospective jealousy.

Making the decision to end a relationship is not easy, since it requires facing the situation, have a difficult conversation, and even see the person who has been your partner suffer and tolerate his discomfort. Your partner may have difficulties speaking directly, have doubts, do not have the tools to do it or simply do not dare.

Perhaps he is avoiding breaking up directly because he assumes he will hurt you and feels guilty. Still, intentionally provoking jealousy to trigger the end of the relationship is much more damaging than communicating it clearly and honestly.

What is hidden behind jealousy? When jealousy is used to break a relationship the real reason for the breakup is not understood, with which this makes it difficult to adequately close the stage and the relationship. Acting in this way is a lack of affective responsibility, as well as an act of dishonesty and cowardice.

What does it mean that a man wants to make you jealous? One possible reason may be that your partner really fosters situations involving third parties. What is your role in the situation? Do you have approaches to third parties that make you uncomfortable? If so, it is likely that your partner is involved with someone other than you and does not want to end the relationship with you because he simply likes the game of seduction and feeling desired.

Adventures can be almost irresistible to the one who is immersed in them. There are people who resort to having encounters with a lover to escape the limitations of everyday life. They seek to feel young, attractive, desired, freeing yourself from certain family or work “burdens”, exploring and experimenting with new roles and going underground.

If your relationship has reached this point, an important element to keep in mind is that, for painful as it is, perhaps the other person does not care that you suffer or that you know they are with someone else.

Mexican author Carlos Fuentes^[5], states the following: "jealousy kills love but not desire. This is the true punishment of betrayed passion. Although this way of acting is common, Deliberately causing jealousy in a partner has consequences. Jealousy may ignite the connection for a moment, but it is affectionate behaviors and empathy that create a real and lasting bond over time.

What to do if your partner wants to make you jealous? If you sense that he is deliberately making you jealous, address the issue openly and honestly to understand what is happening to him and why he is acting like this. It's possible that it has a fear of abandonment and the loss of the relationship, or perhaps he needs more attention and support from you and does not know how to ask for it in a more functional way.

In any case, wanting your partner to experience jealousy is a highly dysfunctional behavior, both for the one who generates them, who does not take responsibility for their emotions or knows how to manage them, and for the one who suffers from it.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Why does my partner want to make me jealous?, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.

1. White, G. L. (1980). Inducing jealousy: A power perspective. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 6(2), 222-227.
2. Fleischman, A. A., Spitzberg, B. H., Andersen, P. A., & Roesch, S. c. (2005). Tickling the monster: Jealousy induction in relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22(1), 49-73.
3. Dainton, M., & Gross, J. (2008). The use of negative behaviors to maintain relationships. Communication Research Reports, 25(3), 179-191.
4. Pines, A. m. (2016). Romantic jealousy: Causes, symptoms, cures. Routledge.
5. sources, c. (2016). in this i believe. Alfaguara.

• Morph, C. C., & Rhodewalt, F. (2001). Unraveling the paradoxes of narcissism: A dynamic self-regulatory processing model. Psychological inquiry, 12(4), 177-196.
• Perell, E. (2017). The state of affairs: Rethinking infidelity-A book for anyone who has ever loved. Hachette UK.
• Whitson, D., & Mattingly, B. TO. (2010). Waking the Green-Eyed Monster: Attachment Styles and Jealousy Induction in Romantic Relationships. Psi Chi Journal of undergraduate research, 15(1).