Throughout our lives we are going to meet people who we do not like how they act and it is possible that, at times, it is difficult for us to resolve such situations. If you want to tell a person that you don't like the attitude without hurting their feelings, it is important that you show great empathy, respect and try to find the most appropriate moment to express what bothers you, in addition to asking him sincerely what you expect from him behavior.
So how can you tell someone who has done something that you didn't like it at all? In this Psychology-Online article we explain How to tell someone you don't like her attitude. After this reading you will be able to maintain a more positive relationship with that person and even improve the attitude of someone who makes you uncomfortable.
Index
- Why is it important to tell someone you don't like their attitude?
- choose the moment
- Use "I" instead of "you"
- Always keep respect
- show empathy
- Don't criticize, ask
- Express what you expect of that person in the future
Why is it important to tell someone you don't like their attitude?
Telling someone that you don't like their attitude can be difficult for fear of hurt feelings or losing the company of that special someone. However, learning to express emotions is healthier and more convenient than carrying anger or fear inside. It is important to express to someone that you do not like her attitude for several reasons:
- Facilitate honest communication: expressing your feelings and opinions sincerely and honestly is essential to ensure effective communication. By talking openly about your concerns, you give the other person an opportunity to understand how you feel and consider making changes.
- Allows you to set healthy boundaries: Saying honestly that you don't like someone's attitude allows you to set healthy boundaries in your relationships, something essential to guarantee your emotional well-being and protect you from situations that may be harmful or abusive. Here we explain How to set boundaries in relationships.
- Promotes mutual respect: When you communicate your feelings towards someone's attitude, you are promoting the importance of mutual respect in the relationship. This can create a more balanced and respectful environment in which both parties feel heard and considered.
- It is the way to find a solution: Learning to express your dissatisfaction with someone's attitude is a way to open the door to the possibility of finding a solution or resolving differences. By being aware of how the other person's attitude affects you, you can work together to find ways to improve the relationship or address issues that arise.
Choose the moment.
The first step in telling someone that you don't like her attitude is wait for the right moment. If you act on impulse or at the moment when you are feeling negative emotions, your words may not be the most accurate.
If you do it at a bad time, that person may feel attacked and you will most likely fall into an argument that will get you nowhere. On the other hand, nothing to talk about it through messages or through social networksLet alone start these kinds of conversations before leaving for work or at lunchtime.
Therefore, when someone has a bad attitude, try to take a deep breath and, when the time is right, invite them to talk to talk about the matter more calmly. The important thing is that both of you are calm and relaxed so that the conversation is more receptive and you can change that person's attitude.
Use "I" instead of "you"
When someone has a bad attitude towards you, the best thing to do is start talking about what you feel. You can use phrases like "I would like to tell you how I feel when you do this." The main idea is that you do not point or accuse directly with expressions like "you always behave badly" because what you will achieve is to form a defensive barrier that will not give any result.
It is not the same to tell someone "you are very annoying" than to say "I feel bad when you act like that". The intention is that express your emotions instead of pointing or accusing so that the other person can understand you.
Always keep respect.
It is important that during the conversation you maintain a relaxed and appropriate tone of voice so that you do not fall into a state of alteration that can lead you to disrespect others. Also, do not use rude words or say hurtful adjectives to the other person, because the purpose is to reconcile the problem and maintain a healthier relationship.
Show empathy.
Empathetic honesty is another fundamental requirement to resolve conflicts effectively. By expressing how you feel and actively listening to the other person, you create an environment conducive to finding solutions and reconciling constructively.
Remember that the empathy It involves understanding and accepting the emotions of others, even when you disagree with their attitude. For this reason, communicate kindly, without judging and avoiding personal attacks. Find a balance between expressing your point of view and showing understanding of the feelings and perspectives of the other person, as that will create effective feedback that will help resolve the issue. conflict.
Don't criticize, ask.
If you're going to tell someone you don't like their attitude, criticizing them directly will only make them feel offended and upset. Instead, ask him if he has noticed his attitude and if he has any discomfort with you, since perhaps he has not realized that his attitude bothers you.
Ask as much as you need to and reinforce the idea of how imparting the relationship is to you and that your intention is for both of you to feel good talking.
Express what you expect from that person in the future.
Finally, the important thing so that the situation does not repeat itself is that you be as specific as possible when expressing your wishes about what makes you feel best. In this way, you will establish the attitude that bothered you and what you hope will not happen again.
That person may take time to process your request, so you should be as honest as possible and give concrete examples of how you hope their new attitude will be. For example, if what bothers you is that he always finishes the sentences you say, ask him to let you finish speaking and to wait his turn in the conversation. yes, remember keep calm and respect when you do it so that everything is resolved and they can reconcile at a midpoint, since positive feedback will achieve better results than you expect.
In short, it is important to approach this communication with tact and respect. Actively listen to the other person, try to understand their perspective, and avoid attacks or hurtful comments. Keep in mind that assertive communication will be key to expressing your feelings and concerns in a constructive way. Remember that each situation is unique and, in some cases, it can be useful seek help from a therapist or mediator to facilitate communication and reach a solution together.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to tell someone you don't like their attitude, we recommend that you enter our category of Social psychology.
Bibliography
- Bisquera, R. (2003). How to improve interpersonal relationships. Barcelona: Paidos.
- Cortes, m. (2004). Interpersonal communication. Madrid: Synthesis.
- Hernandez, E. (2006). The couple relationship. Madrid: Pyramid.
- Lopez, M. (2008). Family relationships. Madrid: Synthesis.
