How narcissists spy on you

  • Sep 27, 2023
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How narcissists spy on you

Narcissists are people who are characterized by having feelings of greatness and self-love. exacerbated, in addition to a need for control and to dominate their environment to hide their insecurities. Due to these particularities, one of the most frequent acts that can occur is spying on people who are interesting to them. In this way, they can make use of them under various strategies that could go unnoticed. Taking this into account, it becomes complex to deal with this type of behavior, since they are intelligent people who have precise and forceful tools to obtain what they want.

In this Psychology-Online article we will explain how narcissists spy on you.

You may also like: When a narcissist leaves you alone

Index

  1. Why do narcissists spy on you?
  2. Ways of narcissists spying
  3. How to detect that a narcissist is spying on you
  4. What to do if a narcissist spies on you

Why narcissists spy on you.

The reasons that lead someone to have a narcissistic personality disorder can be varied. However, it is necessary to know them to understand these acts. Next, we will talk about why narcissists spy on you:

  • Control: In general, narcissists are people who cannot stand being dominated, which is why they seek to control the situations they experience daily to anticipate any movement.
  • Validation: This condition implies that the narcissistic person reaffirms premises and/or questions that he has about someone. In other words, this clinical picture is related to great insecurities that are reflected in actions and/or emotions in daily life. Due to fear of being discovered, they spy on their victims to validate ideas of improvement and greatness.
  • Intimidation: Narcissists find pleasure in observing other people, as they satisfy the desire to look. Likewise, this act usually intimidates those who are observed and experience insecurities. In this way, intimidation allows them to take control of any scene that comes into play.

In this article we explain What is it to be a narcissist?.

Ways of narcissists spying.

This personality disorder maintains a close link with the scenes that are perceived through vision. For this reason, narcissists can resort to precise tactics to achieve what they are looking for. In this section we will point out some methods that narcissists use to spy:

  • virtual harassment: Current technology allows human beings to connect with each other, despite maintaining a considerable physical distance. However, this does not prevent narcissists from spying. He virtual harassment It can be executed through internet threats, requests for images, requests for private information, among others.
  • physical harassment: When the place and environment allow it, narcissists can locate their victims and go to the usual places they visit. For example, they may come to work and school to monitor the person's activities.
  • Approach to the person's environment: In a subtle way, narcissists can associate with family and friends of the people they want to spy on. To carry out this purpose, they maintain good deals to obtain information and construct a fictitious image of themselves. Therefore, people who do not know this personality disorder in depth believe that they can trust them.
  • Sudden disappearances: from one moment to the next, they can stop appearing in a person's life. However, this is a smart strategy to capture attention. Consequently, victims' attempts to understand what has happened result in narcissists having more information.
  • Use of close people: To spy, narcissists have allies who do the work of collecting specific data. For this reason, they try to get other people to foster lasting social interaction.
How narcissists spy on you - Ways of narcissists spying on you

How to detect that a narcissist is spying on you.

To glimpse this class of actions, it is essential to have some indicators. In the next items, we will develop how to detect that a narcissist is spying on you:

  • Discomfort with simple questions: Although the intention is to know in detail the ideas of another person, narcissists feel insecurities and fear of being exposed. For this reason, they may be nervous when questioned about their actions.
  • Permanent demands: Narcissists are people who are intolerant of frustration and have difficulty adapting to changes. For this reason, they demand that their demands be met without any objection. They also have no empathy for others and nullify any desire that is expressed.
  • Intuition and feelings of discomfort: trust your instincts. If you feel like you are being watched or that your privacy is being invaded in some way, it is important to pay attention to those feelings.
  • Changes to objects on your property or environment: If you notice that your belongings are out of place or something appears to have been tampered with or moved around, this could be a sign that someone has been snooping around.
  • Detailed knowledge of your private life- If the narcissistic person mentions specific details about your activities or conversations that you haven't previously shared publicly, you may be obtaining this information improper.
  • Invasive questions or too precise details: If they ask you overly detailed or invasive questions about your personal affairs, this may be another sign that they are collecting information about you.
  • Using technology to spy: In extreme cases, a narcissistic person may use hidden cameras, microphones, or unauthorized access to your electronic devices to keep tabs on every detail of your life.
  • Subtle comments or threats: Sometimes narcissistic people may make vague or threatening comments about things they would only know if they have been spying on you.
  • External validation: Talking to people you trust about your suspicions and concerns can give you an outside perspective and help you evaluate the situation more clearly.

If you want to know more information about this topic you can read The types of narcissism and characteristics to identify them.

What to do if a narcissist spies on you.

If you suspect that you are being spied on by a narcissist, it is important take steps to protect your privacy and security. This may include seeking help from professionals, such as counselors or therapists, and even considering legal measures if necessary to ensure your well-being.

Although it is difficult to cope with these moments of tension, there are some approaches to reduce discomfort. Here we explain what you can do if a narcissist spies on you:

  • Put limits: although it may be difficult, in these cases it is necessary that we make ourselves respected. Setting clear, forceful boundaries can prevent narcissists from spying further. Here we explain How to set limits in relationships.
  • Expose it: Narcissists do not want to be discovered, since that would alter the image they show. For this reason, revealing them helps to interrupt these behaviors.
  • Think before act: Impulsivity can bring unfavorable results because the person is devalued and his words are unimportant. Unlike this, reflecting beforehand invites you to find better solutions.
How narcissists spy on you - What to do if a narcissist spies on you

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How narcissists spy on you, we recommend that you enter our category of Personality.

Bibliography

  • Trechera, J.L., Vázquez De La Torre, M., Fernández, G., Morales, E. (2008). Empirical study of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Acta Colombiana de Psicología Magazine, 11 (2), 25-36.
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