Entering into a romantic relationship with a married person can lead to a series of complex emotional and psychological implications. The dynamic of being the lover of someone who is already committed to a marriage or a stable relationship can result in a roller coaster of emotions and internal conflicts.
In this Psychology-Online article, we will address the top 10 psychological consequences of being a lover of a married person. Through a detailed analysis, we will identify the emotional and psychological repercussions that can affect those who find themselves in this situation.
Index
- Guilt
- Anxiety and stress
- Emotional dependence
- Internal conflicts
- Decreased self-esteem
- Social isolation
- Vulnerability
- Fear of abandonment
- Traumatic breakup
- Questioning one's own identity
Guilt.
This intense guilt arises from the awareness of being involved in a relationship that violates an existing commitment, in this case, the other individual's marriage. Lovers are usually aware that they are contributing to a deception and violating fundamental moral and ethical principles.
These feelings can be overwhelming and can significantly affect mental health, generating a internal conflict which often persists throughout the relationship. The constant struggle with this guilt can undermine self-esteem and peace of mind.
Anxiety and stress.
The constant worry of being discovered, the fear of consequences, and the uncertainty surrounding this relationship can lead to high levels of anxiety and chronic stress. Lovers often live in a state of constant alert, which can trigger physical and emotional symptoms, as insomnia, palpitations, irritability and tension. The lack of social support and the need to maintain secrecy exacerbate these problems.
Ongoing anxiety and stress can have an inegative impact on mental and emotional health of lovers and affect other areas of their lives.
Emotional dependence.
These relationships are often characterized by being ambiguous and unpredictable, which can generate a strong emotional dependence in the lovers. Since they cannot expect complete dedication from the married person, they become emotionally vulnerable and they may feel desperate for any sign of affection or attention.
This dependency can lead to a lack of self-esteem, constant anxiety and the feeling that they cannot find happiness in other areas of their lives. The need to keep the relationship secret can also intensify this dependency, as they cannot seek support from others.
Internal conflicts.
Lovers of married people often experience deep internal conflicts due to moral and ethical contradictions That they face. They know that their participation in an extramarital relationship goes against social norms and moral expectations. This internal struggle can cause great confusion and emotional distress as they feel like they are betraying their own values and beliefs.
Internal conflicts can manifest themselves in various ways, such as feelings of guilt,regrets, indecisionconstant and a feeling that they are doing something wrong. This constant struggle between how they feel about the married person and their own ethical values can have a negative impact on their psychological health and general well-being.
Decreased self-esteem.
By maintaining a relationship that is usually kept secret and in the background, lovers can also feel like they are not important enough to be a public and significant part of your partner's life.
This feeling of being someone's "secret" can undermine self-esteem and make them feel less valuable. Consequently, they may develop a negative perception of themselves, believing that they deserve a hidden relationship or that they are not worthy of an open, committed relationship. This may have a lasting impact on your self-esteem and in your ability to pursue healthy and satisfying relationships in the future.
Social isolation.
The need to keep the relationship secret and avoid discovery can lead to Social isolation. Lovers often limit their social interactions to avoid any unwanted exposure. This can result in a decrease in their social life and relationships with friends and family as they are forced to prioritize their secret relationship.
This isolation can lead to loneliness and the feeling that they cannot share their life and experiences with others. Lack of social support can increase emotional vulnerability and contribute to her feelings of isolation and distress.
Vulnerability.
In many cases, the married person can exert a certain degree of control and manipulation over his or her lover. Due to the secretive nature of the relationship and fear of discovery, the lover may be willing to give in to demands and wishes of the married person. This increases their emotional vulnerability, as they may feel trapped in an unequal power dynamic.
Manipulation can include emotional pressure or threats to expose the secret relationship, which puts the lover in a delicate position. This emotional vulnerability can create additional stress and negatively affect mental health.
Fear of abandonment.
In a relationship of this type, the lover lives with the anxiety that the relationship will end at any moment, since the married person can decide to end the relationship at any time. This fear of abandonment It can be paralyzing and generate great anxiety.
The lack of security in the relationship and the inability to foresee your future can lead to constant worry about the end of the relationship. This fear can have a significant impact on mental and emotional health, often leading to feelings of anxiety and chronic stress.
If you want to know more about this topic you can read the article How long does a loving relationship last?
Traumatic breakup.
When the relationship comes to an end, whether by the person's own decision or that of the married person, it can cause great distress. distress and emotional pain. This breakup can be particularly traumatic due to the intensity of the emotions involved and the fact that, in many cases, the relationship was filled with secrets and concealments.
The loss of the relationship, combined with the potential exposure and pain of the breakup, can have a significant emotional impact on the lover, which may require time and support to overcome.
Questioning one's own identity.
Lovers are often faced with a identity crisis, as they find themselves trapped in a relationship that undermines their sense of who they are and what they want in life. The situation of being "the other" in a relationship can lead to confusion about one's own identity and personal values. They may find themselves questioning their actions, their morality, and their self-concept.
This identity crisis can be an emotionally difficult process that requires introspection and self-discovery to find a resolution that allows them to move forward in their lives. In the following article you will find more information about What is personal identity, characteristics and how it is constructed.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Psychological consequences of being the lover of a married person, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.
Bibliography
- Lorenzo, L. (2022). I am the other: The mental health of the lover in infidelity - Siquia Online psychologists. Siquia - Online psychologists. https://www.siquia.com/blog/salud-mental-del-amante/
- Navarro, M. TO. L. (2022). What are the consequences of being with a married man. Health180. https://www.salud180.com/salud-dia-a-dia/cuales-son-las-consecuencias-de-estar-con-un-hombre-casado
- Navarro, S. (2023). Psychology behind being a lover of a married man. Sofia Navarro. https://sofia-navarro.com/ser-la-amante-de-un-hombre-casado-psicologia/
- Rodolfo, D. M. J. (2022, August 1). Emotional dependence and its relationship with depressive symptoms in Mexican couples. https://hdl.handle.net/20.500.12371/18336
