The lack of speech control is one of the main reasons for consultation that threatens the world's population today. In general terms, participation in social, cultural, work and family spaces can be predisposing factors for high amounts of anxiety that develop in people. In this sense, the attempt to hide insecurities, the need for approval from the environment, the search for recognition and persistence in building new social ties are the causes that influence a large part of the society. This is made visible when someone is extremely interested in presenting a topic that captures attention, or a difficulty arises in listening to other people.
In this Psychology-Online article we will provide you with information about how to control myself so as not to talk too much.
- Practice observation
- Make a record of thoughts, behaviors and emotions
- Breath deeply
- Practice mindfulness
- Pre-select the information
- Listen to others
- Ask open questions
- Practice silence
One of the main clues that indicate an excess in dialogue consists of contemplate body posture, non-verbal gestures and facial expressions from other persons. In this sense, the implementation of a more critical state of observation helps to understand the attitudes that are shown in a social environment.
For this reason, it is necessary to pay attention to signs of disinterest, discomfort, boredom, isolation and/or anger that a state of verbiage can cause. In this way, the data provided in different situations will cause the person to take a position of greater listening.
Make a record of thoughts, behaviors and emotions.
In the vast majority of cases, people who have an impulsive need to speak without any type of limit lack a record of their words. In short, their dialogues appear empty of concrete content because they do not have a coherent logic that allows them to explain what they feel. For this reason, disorganized bodily manifestations arise that are not understood by other people. To address this, another viable option is to make a written record of thoughts, behaviors and emotions.
In other words, it is a document that establishes a relationship between what the person feels, thinks and does. This modality allows an ordering of ideas that facilitates communication between several people and limits the words that are said.
Diaphragmatic breathing exercises are usually a fundamental help to face moments of stress and/or anxiety because they reduce heart rate and They produce a relaxation of the central nervous system. In social situations in which the person cannot stop talking, the diaphragmatic breathing imposes certain pauses that allow for better dialogue.
Indeed, this is relieving for those who are listening and creates a more relaxed atmosphere.
He mindfulness It is a therapeutic technique that aims to achieve a state of mental concentration on present events, dismissing any thoughts and emotions about the past or the future. When this is achieved, the person usually develop greater reflective capacity It allows you to stop and think deeper thoughts about life.
In this way, the repeated practice of mindfulness It can help achieve a greater state of mental relaxation so that the person can control their anxiety. In this article you will find some Exercises mindfulness for starters.
Previously select the information.
People who talk too much usually have great difficulty controlling the words they say. In this way, they can hurt other people's sensitivities without having any type of record about others. If this is repeated for a long time, social relationships may be affected.
For this reason, it is preferable think in advance about the information that will be discussed to avoid conflicts with the environment. In short, this has the effect of self-control.
Listen to others.
One of the main defects of people who have verbiage is a lack of listening to other people. Even if they do it involuntarily, the urgent need to speak prevents the environment from manifesting itself, causing anger, discomfort and/or isolation. To avoid these consequences, another alternative lies in give time to other peoplefor them to express themselves and control the ideas you have.
Ask open-ended questions.
Open questions are clear indicators so that other people can develop their answers. In other words, opinions are requested on a topic that can be described, developed or explained in depth. When this happens, the person must control yourself not to talk about others and avoid being the center of attention.
Instead of expressing an opinion or making value judgments about the topic under discussion, another alternative is opt for silence. Contrary to what many believe, the act of remaining silent does not indicate a lack of interest in the current situation, but rather a conscious choice to listen to other people.
This approach has the added benefit of reducing the possibility of creating an unpleasant environment by restricting the use of words.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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- Barrio del Campo, J.A., Ruiz Cobo, R., Borragán, A. (2006). Stress when speaking in public: practical guide. INFAD Journal of Psychology, 2 (1), 417-428.
- Codina Jiménez, A. (2004). Know how to listen. A valuable intangible. Intangible Capital Magazine, 3 (1), 1-27.