What does it mean when a narcissist doesn't look for you?

  • Nov 28, 2023
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What does it mean when a narcissist doesn't look for you?

Relationships with narcissistic people are one of the main conflicts for which psychological consultations are sought. In general terms, it is a personality disorder characterized by the need to have a considerable admiration from the social and emotional environment, added to the exacerbation of physical and/or emotional. Often, narcissists have the belief that they are superior to other people and try to demean those who get close to them. For all these reasons, the ties become complex and various problems may arise that cause a separation. One of the most relevant actions they can take is to stop having contact with a close person. When this happens, it is likely that this will lead to great uncertainty and anguish for those who have suffered it.

In this Psychology-Online article we will provide you with information about What does it mean when a narcissist doesn't look for you?.

You may also like: What is it to be a narcissist?


  1. Why a narcissist doesn't look for you
  2. How long can a narcissist's silence last?
  3. What happens if you ignore a narcissist while he ignores you

Why a narcissist doesn't look for you.

When faced with the distancing of a person who has extremely high self-esteem, there are some causes that can explain this behavior. Next we will talk about why a narcissist doesn't look for you:

  • Seeking attention: On many occasions, the need to feel praised and desired is one of the reasons that distances them from other people. Based on the absence they leave in someone's life, they seek the interest of their environment to capture attention and cause anguish.
  • Lack of genuine interest: Narcissists show a lack of empathy for the needs and shortcomings of other people, which causes them to distance themselves without any feeling of guilt or remorse.
  • Anger: If a situation occurs in which the results are not what the narcissist expected, anger is one of the most common responses they use. As a defense mechanism, they stop looking for their victim to make them feel bad.
  • Boredom: When he has gotten what he wanted, the narcissist may feel bored, which causes the person to stop being useful to him and look for someone else who can take his place.
  • Need for control: In more serious cases, narcissists exert constant control over close people. In this way, silence and absence aim to manipulate the environment according to one's own needs.

Here we explain What a narcissist looks for in a woman.

How long can a narcissist's silence last?

Yes ok there is no exact duration For the actions of narcissistic personalities due to individual differences, silence can be highlighted as one of the most effective tools they use. Through the absence of communication, narcissists can dominate the situations they face to their convenience. For these reasons, a narcissist's silent period can be extended from weeks to months and even years.

In this context, providing a single and definitive answer on the duration of silence is difficult, since it depends largely on the nature of the emotional relationship between the narcissist and his victim of him. Therefore, the silence time can vary considerably depending on this particular dynamic.

If you want to know more information about it you may also be interested How narcissists punish in love.

What it means when a narcissist doesn't look for you - How long can a narcissist's silence last?

What happens if you ignore a narcissist while he ignores you.

Stopping associating with this type of individuals can have some negative effects on whoever has decided to make this decision. However, it is necessary to know this information as a precaution. In this section, we will point out what happens if you ignore a narcissist while he ignores you:

  • Need for revenge: Narcissists are people who need to be the center of attention constantly. If they notice that another person's interest has waned, they may choose to take revenge to vindicate themselves. This action is directly related to the implicit idea that they have been damaged and need to recover from that discomfort.
  • Malicious attitudes: In a sense, the narcissist could expose the frustration he feels about feeling ignored through actions that harm people. As an example, they can write hurtful letters, send malicious messages, expose on social networks what they have experienced to distance themselves from the responsibility they have, among others.
  • Return to the life of his victim: In extreme cases, narcissists can use any type of action to appear again in a person's life. Consequently, they show obsessive behaviors that have no limits to produce new damage. Among the most well-known situations, we can mention unexpected presences at work and/or university, sending strange gifts to a home, surprising dialogue with family and friends of the victim, etc.
What it means when a narcissist doesn't seek you out - What happens if you ignore a narcissist while he ignores you

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What does it mean when a narcissist doesn't look for you?, we recommend that you enter our category of Personality.


  • Bicego, M.L., Calleri, V.S., Galainena, M.L., Juaneu, L. (2012). Psychoanalytic approach to narcissism disorders: specificities and technical modifications. Faculty of Psychology Magazine, 11 (1), 105-109.
  • Serra Undurraga, J.K. (2016). The diagnosis of narcissism: a relational reading. Magazine of the Spanish Association of Neuropsychiatry, 36 (129), 171-187.
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