Aspects in life such as Insecurity, Need for Approval, Chronic Personal Dissatisfaction and Difficulty saying No or Imposing Limits are some clear signs that we need to improve the Self-esteem. In this PsychologyOnline article, we are going to give you a series of guidelines to know how to raise one's self-esteem.
Index
- What is self esteem
- Self-help and the development of self-esteem
- Why do I have low self-esteem
- Symptoms of lack of self-esteem
- How to raise self-esteem and confidence
What is self-esteem.
Self-esteem is a term that could be simply summed up in how we see ourselves. It expresses how much we respect and love each other, and this is clearly reflected in the situations and decisions that affect ourselves.
Self-help and the development of self-esteem.
The first thing we must do is self-analyze to see how our self-esteem is. Ask yourself the following: How do you feel about life? Do you think what you do makes you feel good? Is your position on the situations in general positive? Are you happy with yourself?
If the majority of answers are negative, we have a clear indication that your self-esteem is damaged and it needs to be worked through self-help, that is, a treatment that will fundamentally depend on its success or failure on yourself.
Low self-esteem affects us in all fields of life. A person who has low self-esteem often makes bad decisions for himself; in love relationships, they tend to be with partners who treat them badly; in personal relationships, they surround themselves with "friends" who do not contribute anything and who take advantage of them; In the professional field, they do not evolve and do not have confidence in their potential, nor are they brave enough to try something new and better... Ultimately, at the first hurdle, they give up.
Why do I have low self-esteem.
Generally, psychotherapists conclude that the origin of self-esteem problems lies in the first place in the lack of awareness and distorted self-image.
Second, these problems are usually caused by the lack of attention or recognition by parents during their childhood.
Symptoms of lack of self-esteem.
A very clear example of this problem is when we compare ourselves and ask for referrals to a third person. For example, a woman who asks her friend: "Am I as fat as that girl?" If you do not have a clear image of yourself, we are facing a sign of lack of self-esteem.
That being said, the main symptoms and consequences of lack of self-esteem are:
- Feeling insecure. Generally, the person has many uncertainties and it is difficult for him to make decisions.
- Little or no self-confidence. Little or no conviction that you have the ability to do things well.
- Excessive self-criticism. Usually only their own flaws are seen and the qualities are ignored.
- Frustration intolerance. When you are fragile, whoever criticizes you kills you. You value someone else's opinion much more than your own.
- Tendency to destructive relationships.
- Permissiveness and difficulty in setting limits. You are afraid of displeasing others, therefore you allow yourself to do whatever you want.
- Difficulty accepting praise. Because it costs the person to value the good things that he does, it is difficult for him to accept the praise.
- Very great emotional vulnerability, which leads to emotional dependency.
- Chronic feeling of dissatisfaction. Nothing is good and you feel constant anxiety and anguish with pessimistic thoughts.
- Feeling of inferiority.
- Need for approval.
How to raise self-esteem and security.
Despite the fact that the lack of self-esteem is built during childhood and adolescence, you can go to self-help at any stage of life. There are many exercises that change the way you think and help you improve and prevent self-esteem problems. In addition to psychological treatments, the effectiveness of the best self help books at the time of prevent self-esteem problems (One of the best is "The Power of Now" by Tolle). When we try to change our way of thinking, our mind will be like a cycle: thoughts positive changes will make us change our mood for the better, and this new state will help us improve self-esteem.
Some of the fundamental aspects that will help you increase self-esteem are as follows:
Analyze your life
Are you okay at work? Are you happy in your relationship with your partner? How are you with your friends? Are you satisfied with yourself? If the answer is no to most, you have to start moving NOW to change that situation.
The change is not immediate
You cannot expect to change your life overnight. In the same way that you have not reached that bad situation suddenly, its solution requires some time. You must make little by little and gradually small movements to promote the change.
When we realize that we are dissatisfied with ourselves, we tend to be radical and try to make a drastic change by setting ourselves up for failure.
Avoid persistent self-criticism
Allow yourself to make mistakes and work on accepting failure. You must also accept that it is impossible to please everyone, that it is inevitable and that it is part of life.
Avoid criticizing others too much
You must learn to look at the qualities of others and not just their flaws. When we look at the qualities of others, in a way we absorb part of that quality.
Listen to yourself
You have to find out what you really want. Try to always treat yourself with the same care and affection with which you treat others.
Learn to set limits
Do not allow others to invade your rights and your space under the pretext of pleasing others. It's not about selfishness, but about self-protection.
Do exercises to get to know yourself better
Recognizing both your flaws and your qualities and analyzing them as a whole will help you to know yourself better and know how to react to setbacks and better weigh your possibilities.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to raise your self-esteem, we recommend that you enter our category of Personal growth and self-help.
