Life is lived in the present, however, the past may be objectively altering the real ability to focus on what is happening at this moment. When memories constantly interrupt your current routine, when longing is positioned as a habitual ingredient of your reality, then, this takes you away from true happiness that is none other than walking to the beat of life understood as a constant Present. If you have ever wondered "¿why can't i forget the past? ”, In Psychology-Online we answer this question by listing the different possible perspectives.
Index
- Idealization of the past
- Forget the past and forgive
- Why can't I forget the past
Idealization of the past.
When you feel that yesterday is eclipsing the present moment in a recurring way, it may happen that you have fallen into the trap of mental idealization. From this perspective, you magnify the beautiful details of the reality of that moment and ignore everything that was not so perfect. This makes you live with a constant tendency towards
Idealization tends to occur more specifically in the sentimental sphere, as in the case of those people who live pending the memory of a first love that they feel is unforgettable.
In the same way, the idealization of the past is also linked to the identification of youth as the most important stage of human existence. Those who feel that the loss of youth represents some kind of loss of vital brilliance, then, they are more vulnerable to the risk of an idealization that reduces joy.
Forget the past and forgive.
In those cases in which not forgetting the past supposes relive a previous disappointment and this situation brings back to the present the force of anger and resentment, then, the affected person cannot break this knot because he has not forgiven what happened. Forgiving does not mean literally forgetting what happened, that is, erasing that event.
No one can do it because memory leads to recollection. However, forgiveness is necessary so that the person does not remain emotionally tied to yesterday. That is, this emotional gesture is a fundamental basis for freedom.
In many cases, this inability to Forget the past and live the present As a consequence of this question, it has to do with the attitude of those who position themselves as a victim of bad luck.
Why can't I forget the past
When you live the past, you evade your decision-making responsibility in the present. Your past is a closed line, you know exactly how all the events unfolded, what happened in each moment and what was the outcome of each situation. On the contrary, when you make decisions in the present, you experience the effect of uncertainty since you do not control all the ingredients of the map of reality. For this reason, take special care to avoid this Defense mechanism That leads you to protect yourself from possible disappointment, by avoiding new responsibilities by using the past as an excuse rather than as an apprenticeship.
There are events that due to their size and their ability to mark a inflection point In your own life they can also produce this recurring memory effect towards yesterday. They are events that become a personal reference due to the impact they had on you even beyond that moment.
In these cases, learning lies in having the ability to remember what happened without it affecting you emotionally every time you describe the steps of this experiential story. They are events that were especially fixed in your memory for their meaning.
Feeling of longing
The more years of life a person has, the more reasons for nostalgia accumulate inside him. And, in addition, due to his own age, he also has a greater tendency to remember yesterday since by law of life, someone who has exceeded 60 years has more past than future.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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