The manipulators are among us: they are doctors, journalists, teachers, and they often hold positions of power; but they can also be mothers of families or hairdressers, because it is not the activity that defines them. The "relational manipulator" is not associated with a particular sex, it is not limited to a single chosen place, but it moves in our social, family or professional environment. Being a manipulator is not a tactic, but a way of being, a narcissistic personality type recognized by psychiatry as pathological. So there is a fundamental difference between being manipulative and manipulating: only 3% of the population falls into the first category, but we are interested in them because the damage they cause is numerous, systematic and devastating for 90% of the people who live with they.
Do you want to know how a manipulator thinks? Do you know the weak points of manipulators? With this Psychology-Online article we are going to tackle the subject of manipulation together, to better understand who manipulative people are and, above all, to discover
Manipulation is a type of behavior that is carried out in order to change the way of thinking and behaving of others, using deceptive methods which can also lead to both psychological and physical abuse. The manipulator usually belongs to that category of people that was previously called psychopath, or even sociopath; the ultimate goal of the manipulator is the satisfaction of her interests at the expense of others.
The manipulator is an individual who tends to have some peculiar personological characteristics, and in particular may be a narcissist, an individual who has the peculiarity of exploiting others for her own benefit. In this article you will find more information about the narcissistic personality. Another characteristic is antisociality, that is, the absence of ethical values accompanied by a poorly defined projectuality, which is contradicted by the presence of high levels of impulsivity and search of excitement. Here we explain the antisocial personality disorder.
- Passive manipulators present themselves as eternal victims who do not trust her talents and abilities. They organize to end up in impossible situations from which they cry out their request for help, thus attracting the attention of the rescuers, who have mercy on them. They are bottomless pits, and they ask for help especially in the sectors in which they are the only ones who can help themselves, even making impossible demands such as "help me to have self-esteem" or "make me happy."
- Active manipulators, the alleged saviors, they do not want to see their weaknesses or their limitsBut, on the contrary, they show a false image of strength and confidence. To value themselves, they compulsively try to help the alleged victims, becoming dependent on the dependence of others, and in this game they end up exhausting themselves. Deprived of strength and energy, if they take it with passive manipulators, they charge them with reproaches, even persecute them.
Affective manipulators are deceptive and profitable mindsThey can hide behind any individual and their perversity is not immediately apparent but is revealed once dominance over the prey is established. It is when she becomes dependent and drained of her energies that change drastically, attacking her with an evil made of sarcasm and humiliation, cruelty and coldness every time they are perceived as a threat or they want to reiterate that they are the ones running the game. They usually play an important role for the person being manipulated, who is interested in their judgment: a relative, a friend or an employer, for example. It is precisely this emotional bond that makes psychological manipulation difficult to recognize. In this article we talk about how to know if your partner is emotionally blackmailing you.
What if the one or the one you let into your heart (or who forces her doors) is a manipulator? Male or female, manipulators often display a fascinating face and manner for the sole purpose of exerting a psychological influence on their prey. At first, their behaviors are very similar to the common manifestations of love, but little by little the mask falls off, and what It suggested that a relationship with a promising future becomes a veritable enterprise of destruction on the part of the manipulator. The reason would impose us flee as soon as possible, but often the victim submits to her executioner, and the consequences are manifold: loss of self-esteem and confidence, anxiety, guilt, fear, lack of security in public, sense of shame and isolation. Also on the physical plane: appearance of sleep disorders, somatization, general discomfort, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc.
What interest do manipulators have to manipulate? Next we are going to see how a manipulator thinks and the weak points of manipulators.
- They are immature. They are trapped in old survival reflexes; They are scared, mean and spiteful children, lost in a world of adults that terrifies them. One of the weaknesses of a manipulator is immaturity.
- They are unstable. Another weakness of manipulative people is instability. They feel that things are getting out of hand, and that is also why they are paranoid, distraught and even very naive.
- They are naive. While trying to dominate others, they are often themselves at the mercy of another person whom they have boundless admiration and whose words are drunk with incredible candor. They are often fooled, reinforcing their fears, anger, and the certainty that the world is hostile.
- They seek protection and control. In the constant search for a protective father to take charge of their immaturity, they oscillate between a inordinate admiration and inevitable disappointments, which often coincide with the phases of seduction / destruction. They will never forgive that substitute for disappointing them the day they discover their weaknesses and limitations. Therefore, manipulating is for them a clumsy and inappropriate attempt to control their environment and protect themselves from everything that they consider dangerous and malevolent to them.
- They feel fear. They have not been able to develop alternative solutions: or they manage to manipulate them, and therefore they are reassured but forced to continually check that they are under control, or have failed to master them, and in this case the they terrify; They will hate you, reject you, and do everything possible to separate you from their inner circle.
- They have low self-esteem. Another weakness of a manipulator is that he does not have a healthy self-esteem. Manipulative individuals require excessive admiration: their self-esteem is almost invariably very fragile. They may be concerned about how well they are behaving and how well they are judged by others, which often transforms into a constant need for attention and admiration. Know the signs of low self-esteem.
- They lack empathy. These are generally people who have difficulty recognizing the wishes, subjective experiences, and feelings of others.
In this article we explain what happens when a manipulator does not get what he wants and how a manipulator acts when he is discovered.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
