How to HELP a jealous person

Jealousy is an emotion that can do a lot of damage to those who suffer it, to those who are by their side and, of course, to the couple's relationship. It is an emotion that is not easy for anyone to carry. Therefore, it is important to learn to manage jealousy, whether with your family, friends or partner.

Do you live with a jealous person and want to help them? We take care of what it means to have a jealous person around you, so in this Psychology-Online article, we are going to stop and explain how to help a jealous person. Jealousy is not easy for anyone to carry. And for that, we also add some tips to help a jealous person.

Index

1. What is jealousy
2. Symptoms of a jealous person
3. How to control jealousy
4. Tips to help a jealous person

Jealousy They're a emotion we experience when we are afraid of losing something that we consider ours, be it a person, an object, a social position or a job. Jealousy occurs especially in relationships, but also in the workplace, in friendships and within the family.

Anyone can feel jealous throughout their life, although they tend to be more in insecure people, because feel inferior regarding the person posing the threat. Discover how to overcome the inferiority complex.

In addition to causing us emotional discomfort, jealousy damages relationships and makes us act out of control and sometimes shameful. Therefore, it is important to work to learn to manage them properly.

Jealous or jealous people are insecure and distrustful people, although they may appear otherwise. Every jealous man has his strategies. Some are simpler and more obvious and others so elaborate that they can be very scary. Here are some of the symptoms of jealous people:

• Asks too many questions about where you are at all times.
• Has a special interest in know about some of your friends.
• His expression changes when you talk about someone who is threatening to him.
• Try to spend more time with him / her than with your friends.
• He calls or texts you constantly when you are not together and he gets angry easily if he does not receive a response.
• Questions what you tell him and tries to catch the lies that he thinks you tell him.
• Check your phone and tries to convince you that it is normal.
• He is aware of where you look or who you talk to.
• It bothers him if some people comment on your social networks or even that you have them as friends.

How to help a jealous person? Jealousy is an intense and unpleasant emotion that is often difficult to control. Since, even if you do to control them, the fact of doing so means that they are there generating discomfort. So how can jealousy be controlled? Above all, let's talk about what you should not do: checking behaviors.

The checking behavior, if you prove that there is no deception, momentarily relieves discomfort, but reinforces the behavior. If your partner receives a message and you feel jealous, you have 2 options: check the message and relax, or trust your partner and not look at anything.

The first option will make you feel relief, but it will also make each time your partner receives a message you want to check it to feel better. That, in the long run, becomes a big problem. Your partner will feel limited in Liberty and he will get tired of you not trusting him or her.

All such behaviors lead to a toxic relationship that will eventually end or make the partners unhappy while they remain in it. In this article, we tell you the consequences of a toxic relationship.

As we have seen, jealousy can negatively affect personal relationships. So, below, we propose different tips to help a jealous person:

• Help him recognize his problem: as in so many issues, the first thing is to recognize something in order to change it. Someone who does not consider himself / herself to be jealous will do nothing to control the jealousy.
• Advise that person to work their self-esteem: the more confident the jealous person feels, the less jealous they will feel.
• Do not grant irrational requests: When you let the jealous person invade your privacy, consulting your networks or your phone, you are reinforcing them to do it again.
• Do not give in to their blackmails: If you do, he will press you again to get what he wants.
• Explain that their thoughts are irrational and caused by jealousy: the interpretation of what happens is negative and threatening when fear is felt. It is important to know that not everything that comes to mind is real.
• Teach him how to change irrational thoughts with the TREC (Rational Emotional Behavioral Therapy). This therapy consists of identifying irrational thoughts and changing them for rational ones. There is a lot of bibliography to consult, although the ideal is to go to a psychologist who can guide you.
• Make him understand that jealousy damages relationships.: hypervigilance, lack of confidence and the feeling of control exhausts the other person. From trying so hard to prevent the relationship from breaking up, hers or himself will end up breaking it.
• Control locus: the jealous person must understand that there are things that are beyond their control. If your partner wants to commit an infidelity, he will do it and all the time that you dedicate to prevent that from happening will be wasted time and earned discomfort.
• Build trust in the relationship- If you wonder how to help a jealous person, show your confidence and have that person show it too.
• Try to avoid social media: Being on the lookout all day only makes you see threats where there are none.
• Help him face fear: Jealousy arises due to someone's fear of losing something that they believe belongs to them. The first thing is to make the jealous person understand that people do not belong to anyone. Once you understand that, we move to the next level, which is to make you understand that no one dies for anyone and that, in the worst case, separations are overcome. They are tough but necessary issues in managing jealousy.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to help a jealous person, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.

• Barragan, A. (2016) How to control any emotion step by step. Amazon
• Beck, A. T. (2011). With love is not enough. Madrid: Paidós.
• Bernstein, A. J. (2012). Emotional Vampires: How to recognize and deal with those people who manipulate our feelings. Madrid: EDAF
• Gottman, J. M., Silver, N. (2012). Seven golden rules for living as a couple. Barcelona: Debolsillo
• Ellis, A. (2007). Control her anger before she controls you. Barcelona: Paidós.