I am UNHAPPY in my life, why and what to do?

What is unhappiness? Unhappiness is one of the basic emotions of the human being that is defined by the inability to feel happiness. It is related to feelings of loneliness and sadness. Unhappiness happens when a person considers that her life is not complete due to the lack of a person, a thing or that her life is not going as she would like.

There are people who are unhappy in a more chronic way, being tremendously difficult for them to feel good and satisfied with their life. In addition, unhappiness is a very common feeling that we all, to a greater or lesser extent, go through at some time. Keep reading Psychology-Online so you can see what are the symptoms and causes of unhappiness, unhappiness regarding marriage and what happens and what to do when you want to be happy and you can not. If you are unhappy in your life and you don't know why or what to do, in this article we want to give you some answers.

Index

1. Symptoms of unhappiness
2. Causes of unhappiness
3. Unhappy marriage
4. How to overcome unhappiness

There are several symptoms that are common in people who are unhappy for a long time.

1. You see only the negative side despite being in a good moment of your life.
2. You assume the role of victim instead of taking responsibility for situations and trying to change and improve them.
3. You constantly complain of how unfair life is with you and you compare yourself with the people around you claiming that your life is in a worse moment.
4. You sabotage yourself in achieving goals or, if you do, you don't enjoy them because you assume you don't deserve them.
5. You focus on worrying when things don't go your way, instead of trying to learn from what happened.
6. You run away from your problems or you evade through alcohol, drugs, or sex instead of dealing with them.
7. You do not attend or you give little importance to self-care when it comes to a healthy diet, exercise, a good rest ...
8. You get carried away by your emotions and your relationships are often emotionally intense and unsatisfying.

Why am I so unhappy in my life? Why do I feel sad if I have everything? The symptoms themselves are, in turn, causes of unhappiness. However, in addition, there are other habits that may be making you unhappy:

• Hold a grudge and live tied to problems. Forgive and see the forgiveness of the one who has hurt us as a Thinking that happiness will come after: Constantly believing that you will have happiness when you have a new job, a new house, etc. instead of focusing on being happy right now with what you have.
• The adictions they create unhappiness, whatever it may be, since much of your life will be reduced to satisfying that addition.
• Little social life. We are social beings by nature. Isolating ourselves and staying home increases the chances of being unhappy.
• Little active life. Why am I not happy with what I have? Having excessive free time causes you to enter a state of apathy and loss of energy, so later on it will cost you much more to start any activity. Also, when you have free time, you think more about your problems and lose reason to be happy by being focused on them.
• Little coherence between your values, thoughts, feelings and actions. For example, having a job in which you perform tasks that do not agree with your principles.
• Depressive disorders. Another cause of infidelity that we must take into account is undiagnosed and untreated psychological disorders. Especially depressive disorders often cause that feeling of emptiness, deep sadness, guilt and unhappiness. With this depression test you will be able to see if your symptoms are compatible with those of this disorder.

Having a toxic relationship is one of the causes of unhappiness that deserves more explanation. It is quite common to see marriages in which communication is dry, with constant recriminations and with little affection. He ends up sleeping in separate rooms and spending little free time together. These are signs of an unhappy marriage. What could you do? There are 2 alternatives: improve the relationship or directly leave the relationship.

How to improve a relationship

The main problem is usually communication and lack of empathy.

• It is important to sit at talk to the couple from time to time and communicate the things that we liked and those that we did not, with education and respect, so that both members can feel happy in the relationship.
• In addition, you have to get out of that state of egocentricity and take into account that there are two people in the couple, so it is important to take into account that the other also has needs. Be more generous and giving in to the choice of a movie to watch, for example, are details that maintain affection.
• On the other hand, it is important Do activities that allow you to get out of the routine. Going to dinner, a trip, among others, can be good options.
• Lastly, it is important get out of that same victim role that we commented before and take responsibility for the situation. Therefore, instead of continually demanding and recriminating your partner, try thanking him and point out to him when he is doing something that you like and try to treat your partner as you would like him to did it. Surely, those aspects that you do not like, since your partner already knows what they are after having it repeated infinitely many times, they end up disappearing on their own when your attitude has changed also.

How to end an unhappy marriage

There are times when you do not see a way out of the situation, so a possible solution would be to go to Couples therapy so that a professional guides you and gives you strategies to solve the problems of partner.

There are also times when you do not want to continue with the relationship, although it is difficult for you to take the step. Why can't I leave my partner if I'm not happy? If your case is that you are not happy in your marriage and you want to leave it but you cannot, it may be because emotional dependence.

What to do if I want to be happy and I can't? Surely when reading the article you have thought: "that does not work for me", "I cannot be happy", "my life is too bad to be happy". You are expecting to be suddenly happy, as if it were a gift from heaven. However, you are making excuses for yourself. Being happy is a choice that is made at the moment in which we decide to see the positive side in our day to day, in which we appreciate all that we have and that we do not focus on everything that we lack.

That is, you can be happy the moment you let that happiness depend on you, on internal causes, and not on external aspects that you cannot control.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to I am unhappy in my life, why and what to do, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.

• Wilkinson, R., & Pickett, K. (2009). An analysis of collective (in) happiness. Madrid: Turner.