Assertive communication: examples and techniques

Assertiveness is a useful communication tool, its application depends on the context and therefore it is not appropriate to be assertive in all situations. You must bear in mind that the sudden use of assertiveness can be perceived as an act of aggression by others.

Also, even when assertive communication styles are used appropriately, there is no guarantee of success. In this Psychology-Online article, we will talk about the assertive communication: examples and techniques to develop it.

Index

1. Some techniques to develop assertive communication
2. Characteristics of an assertive communication
3. Assertive communication: dialogue examples

Do you want to know how to develop communication based on assertiveness? Next, we recommend the following techniques to develop assertiveness:

• Choose the right time and place.
• Use one safe voice.
• Speak firmly, but calmly.
• Repeat (like a broken record) until they hear you.
• Take the offensive. Make a question. Explain how you feel. "I feel like you're pushing me. Why are you pressuring me to do that? I do not want to do it!"
• Offer a compromise if appropriate.
• Refuse the option to discuss the subject further and change the subject.
• Refusing to continue discussing the issue and / or leaving.

This last assertiveness technique, it may appear to simulate an escape response, but once you've tried the other techniques and they haven't worked, this would be the other option.

Assertive communication is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and feelings in an open, honest and direct way. It also allows us to recognize our rights while still respecting the rights of others, as well as taking responsibility for ourselves and for our actions without judging or blaming other people, confront constructively and find a mutually satisfactory solution when there is a conflict.

The first characteristic that we must take into account is that assertiveness it is a personal value that we can observe in our social and personal relationships. This happens because we observe the assertiveness at the moment of communicating.

These are some of the main characteristics of assertiveness in communication. These are:

• Eye contact: show interest, show sincerity
• Body posture: consistent body language will enhance the meaning of the message
• Gestures - Appropriate gestures help add emphasis
• Voice - A level and well modulated tone is more convincing and acceptable, and is not intimidating
• Timing: use your judgment to maximize responsiveness and impact
• Content: how, where and when you decide to comment is probably more important than WHAT you say

Some examples of phrases that are part of an assertive communication would be:

• "Thank you for your suggestion. I'll keep it in mind"
• "No, I'm not busy on Tuesday, but I wish it were that way."
• "Could you give me more information so I can understand what you are trying to say?"
• "I'll have to talk to you about it again."
• "I think I understand what you're saying, but I don't agree."
• "When is a good time to talk about something that has been bothering me?"

Some examples of assertive communication

Other situations would be the following:

• Assumption: Every day when you get home from work, your husband and kids ignore you and continue to do whatever they are doing. Nobody recognizes you or asks how your day was. One way to assertively communicate your discomfort would be: "I feel sad when I get home and no one seems happy to see me or asks me how my day was. I feel lonely and unappreciated. " Assertive people they always say what the problem is instead of assuming that others know what they think, feel or need.
• Assumption: Your teenager gets angry every time you try to tell him to clean his room or help around the house. Assertive answer: "I feel overburdened when you don't cooperate and help keep the house clean and tidy. I understand that you don't like me to remind you to clean your room, but it is a task that has to be done, and everyone has to do their part. "

Sometimes we do not express ourselves because we are afraid of how the other person will react (Will they get angry? Won't you like it if I say this?). Assertive people understand that they have no responsibility for how the other person decides to react - that's up to them. A normal human being will understand that we all have needs and wants and that we must be allowed to express them freely.

• Assumption: Your boss wants you to do your coworker's report because he's late, and he knows you're working efficiently. This has happened frequently. Assertive answer: "This is the fourth time this month that they give me extra work because my partner has been left behind. I want to help the team, but I feel stressed when I'm overloaded. What can we do to make sure this doesn't happen again? "

Tell the facts and express your own feelings Helps prevent the other person from defending himself. Offer to help solve the problem expresses your concerns.

• Assumption: You work full time, have 3 young children at home, and teach yoga two nights a week. Some acquaintances who are part of an association are pestering you to get involved in a fundraising event that they are running that requires a lot of work. An assertive answer would be: "This is not a priority for me. I'll help out with the next fundraiser if I have time. "

Assertive people know that it's perfectly okay to say no to something you don't want to do. Explaining why you are refusing can be helpful, but it is not necessary. Accepting doesn't do anyone any good.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Assertive communication: examples and techniques, we recommend that you enter our category of Cognitive psychology.