How to overcome sadness after a separation

When a love relationship ends, everything seems to fall apart. It is difficult to recover after the breakup of a relationship, be it a brief romance or a relationship of many years. Our self-esteem is damaged and insecurities tend to increase, especially if a painful break-up has resulted.

If we do not learn to manage a separation well, signs of depression and anxiety can appear. Therefore, it is important to emphasize the need to move on after a breakup. If you want to know how to overcome sadness after a separation, we invite you to read this article on Psychology-Online.

Index

1. Signs of depression after a breakup
2. How to get over a breakup
3. Boost self-esteem after a breakup
4. What to do after a couple breakup
5. How to know if you are ready for a relationship

After a separation, it is important to get over it as best we can to get on with our lives and avoid falling into a vicious cycle. Otherwise, we may suffer a

Afraid

Learning to live without that person we considered so important seems dizzying. It is normal to feel a certain fear and uncertainty about what is to come, we can even consider it one of the phases of the process of overcoming. However, when this fear persists over time and makes us unable to move forward, it is time to treat it psychologically.

Emotional burden: guilt

We look for all the existing reasons that can explain the separation with a person. "Why has our relationship ended?" It is a very frequent question after the breakup. Sometimes we bear full responsibility for the events and blame ourselves for everything that has happened. When all that weight falls on us, it produces a feeling of psychological discomfort and lowers our self esteem.

Self rejection

When our self-esteem is so damaged, we end up rejecting and hating ourselves. This can turn into an uncontrollable spiral of self-hatred and must be controlled in time. The key is to think about the real responsibility of our actions, it may not all have been for our fault, the important thing is to assume our part and work so that it does not happen again in a future.

Anger towards the former partner

Another way to manage the discomfort of the breakup is to focus anger on the ex-partner. This frees us from all responsibility and is a mechanism to protect self-esteem. It is not the best way to manage our emotions, obviously, since in this way we will not learn from our mistakes and, with great security, we will commit them again with other people.

Getting back together at the end of a relationship is not easy, neither in men nor in women. Although it is true that each separation is different, the keys of psychology to free ourselves from sadness and be stronger emotionally are based on the emotional management and the protection of self-esteem.

First of all, to know how to overcome sadness after a separation, it is necessary organize and drive the entire cascade of emotions that we can feel after such a painful situation. If we feel overwhelmed by feelings, we probably end up thinking that we cannot control anything around us. To manage our emotions we can do the exercise of identify them before they explode and name them.

For example, we can identify the moment when the feeling of anger begins, think about why we are feeling it and if it is really worth maintaining that unpleasant emotion. Learning to control feelings is not an easy process, but it can help us to be strong after a breakup. In addition, this learning will serve as a tool for other conflicts in life.

Second, when we are able to control our emotions, we will have to learn to protect and work on self-esteem. This has a very important role in generating a more optimistic point of view of life, it helps us develop resilience and make better decisions. To increase and strengthen self-esteem, we can do some of the following exercises:

• Positive thinking: It is about turning the tables, stop thinking about how badly we do everything and start to value our decisions a little more.
• Self-acceptance and reaffirmation of our ideas: a very important step in knowing how to overcome sadness after a separation is to accept yourself. This is vital to having good mental health and being able to heal from a painful breakup. Having good expectations of self-efficacy (that is, believing that what we are going to do, we will do well) increases the chances of success which, in turn, increases self-esteem.
• Positive affirmations: it is important to realize what language we use to speak to ourselves, if we are all the time attacking us or thinking that we are not enough probably our self-esteem will not be able to strengthen correctly. That is why we should try to use language based on positive affirmations towards ourselves, such as "I can achieve this goal"or"I deserve to be happy and loved".
• Realistic goals: We must propose small objectives, goals that we can meet in the short term to guide our actions towards personal improvement. Seeing ourselves capable of meeting these goals will increase our security and, therefore, our self-esteem. For example, we can propose to go out for a drink with new friends, take small trips alone, read a book that has always caught our attention ...

Once the initial crisis is over, there will be a lot to work on. In some cases, getting out of a breakup involves start a new life, apart from the entire circle of acquaintances already formed, even far from our former residence. A separation can involve a series of changes to which we have to be willing to adapt. The important thing is to be able to get ahead on your own and develop the necessary tools so that, with the time, we are able to have a normal and calm life, regardless of any relationship pass.

Take some time without a partner seems to be a good decision to develop our resilience and independence. Learning to be alone fosters our own belief system and helps build self-esteem.

Once the separation is over, as time goes by, we may be able to start a new relationship again. But for this we must ask ourselves if we have really learned to love us and to be emotionally independent.

Each person goes through a different process and there is no set time as the correct time to have a partner again. However, we must calmly consider and meditate on whether or not we are ready for a new relationship, whether the past is no longer haunting us, and whether we want to try again.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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