A person can be surrounded by people, yet feel lonely and emotionally disconnected from others. The desire to establish ties is part of the social nature of the human being. There may be stages of uncertainty and disorientation in which a person does not fully enjoy meeting opportunities and plans.
In this Psychology-Online article we reflect on this question: "I feel like I don't fit in anywhere: what do I do?”. This situation of personal search that perhaps takes you to the plane of otherness, in reality, also has a lot to tell you about yourself.
Each personal story is unique, for this reason, if you are in a stage of this type, it is recommended that you reinforce your introspection to find your answer. What are the reasons why a person may experience this type of sensation?
1. A moment of change and search
There are stages of evolution and transformation. Cycles in which the known scenario acquires a different vision because the protagonist considers alternatives in his lifestyle that he had not appreciated until then. New questions arise, the need to find new answers arises, and possible alternatives to known routines gain strength. This moment of change and personal search is born within you since you visualize yourself immersed in that new horizon. However, the results are not always immediate, it is possible
2. You don't feel good about yourself
Personal relationships with others are a manifestation of the bond you maintain with yourself. Just as you can spread your inner joy and your sense of humor through your optimistic attitudeYou can also project onto the other deficiencies that are conditioning you in the first person. In this case, observe the positive function of the emotional information that this type of experience gives you to try to identify some type of conflict pending resolution, some feeling that asks to be heard, some decision that you have silenced or any aspect that is significant.
3. Many superficial relationships
Personal happiness It does not depend on the number of friends but on the quality and intimacy of the links. If you feel that you do not fit in anywhere, it may happen that you have many superficial links but none deep and true to talk about topics that really matter to you because they affect you how protagonist. In a relationship of trust there is also space to chat about relaxed anecdotes, however, friends start from an attitude of mutual knowledge. Superficial relationships, on the other hand, do not cover the need for true affection if they are the main support for the protagonist.
4. Lack of common interests
Each person is unique. When you feel like you don't fit in anywhere, you feel different from others. The effect of comparison arises. Every human being has his own characteristics and peculiarities. Common hobbies and interests unite. When you cannot find people with whom to share your time with people who have concerns similar to you, you can experience this perception.
What can you do if you experience a process of this type? Next, we offer you the best tips to work the feeling of "I feel like I don't fit in anywhere"
1. Listen to the feeling but put it in context
It is very important that you pay attention to this emotional information that gives you feedback. The reality goes beyond the feeling. Sometimes the sensations lived around previous experiences that you have experienced can negatively conditioning yourself in the present by generating a predisposition in linear interpretation of the facts. To try that this does not happen to you, do not draw general conclusions of the particular experiences.
2. Look for new relationship environments
Work, after-work activities, training courses, cultural events, sports venues, university, associations… Make a list of those places where you can meet new people. A situation of this type, instead of demotivating you, can drive you in the search because at some point you can meet people with whom new sensations arise.
3. Patience
This is one of the most important aspects. Personal relationships take time And impatience can leave you on the surface of a situation. On the contrary, with the passage of time, you can get to know others better and others can know you better. To know how to be more patient it is the indispensable basis for building constructive ties. Since, in addition, you can not only feel that you fit in with people who share common interests with you, but also with people different from you who complement you thanks to this difference.
4. Value what makes you special
You are a unique person and you have qualities of your own. Appreciate the reality of your essence, cultivate your inner world. This is one of the famous messages from the movie Wonder that can inspire you: "You can't blend in with the group when you were born to excel."
5. Look for the company beyond people
The company's experience can not only come from contact with others, it can also arise from the experience of reading, cinema, theater, healthy walks or the magic of places natural.
6. Psychological help
You can assess the possibility of asking for psychological help if this situation is negatively affecting your self-esteem and your quality of life
These are the three failures to avoid in this type of situation.
1. Wanting to please others
Seeking inner reaffirmation through the search for external approval and from desire to be loved and accepted by others It won't make you happier because the most influential opinion is the one you have about yourself.
2. Believe that this will never change
Life is dynamic and your social sphere is in constant motion. You can observe your life experience for as long as you have memory to realize it. That now you are going through this situation does not mean that in a while you will not be able to have experiences of another color.
3. Underestimate yourself
At any moment in your life you are called to be the protagonist of your story. Even when you feel like you don't fit in, you play a leading role in your destiny.
I feel like I don't fit in anywhere: what do I do? Now comes the time to reflect and follow the advice that we have offered you in this curriculum.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
