Insecurity is a psychological state that stems from low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence and can become a major impediment in our daily lives. Insecure people have difficulties in many areas of their day to day: at work, in social relationships, studies... And it is that feeling that one is not enough is never a very great weight that we must get rid of.
In this Psychology-Online article you will find all the information you need about Personal and emotional insecurity: causes, symptoms and how to overcome it. In this way, you will be able to know in detail this mental state to be able to combat it. Pay attention and take note to overcome insecurity!
We define the personal insecurity as a state that we are not able to trust our own skills and we feel that we do not meet the expectations we impose on ourselves. Personal and emotional insecurity is often closely related to a low self-esteem and a negative image of ourselves. In turn, low self-esteem can be caused by various factors.
Why are we insecure people?
Among some causes of personal insecurity and low self-esteem, we highlight the following:
- Insecure attachment style: during the first years of life, we define our self-concept from the affection and attachment we receive from our parents and / or caregivers. One type of negative attachment is related to emotional insecurity and low self-esteem.
- External pressure: In today's society, we are constantly pressured to meet endless expectations that, on many occasions, become a very important psychological burden.
- Expectations too high: As we have mentioned in the previous point, forcing ourselves to meet excessively demanding goals can cause us a lot of frustration if we do not achieve them all. As a consequence of this frustration, we feel bad about our performance and this causes a high level of personal insecurity.
- Negative or traumatic experiences: Another of the most frequent causes of self-insecurity is the fact of having gone through a traumatic event such as an abusive relationship, or psychological abuse.
It is interesting to note that there are studies where it is determined that gender also conditions insecurity. In these studies, it is observed how there are significant differences between female and male adolescents in the following aspects:
- Women have lower self-esteem in general and have a low physical and emotional self-concept, while the men have worse family self-concept and academic [1].
Now that we have defined insecurity and understand its origin, it is important to know how to identify it. In psychology, we usually use tools to measure self-esteem, such as the Rosenberg self-esteem test. However,what does it mean to be an insecure person?
10 symptoms of insecurity according to psychology
We can tell if we have emotional insecurity by identifying some of the signs and symptoms that we will list below:
- Indecision or difficulty making decisions
- Need for constant approval from others
- Fear of abandonment or rejection
- Fear of change and challenges, difficulties in adapting to a new situation
- Very high level of demand
- Negative thoughts about self-image
- Difficulties in social relationships
- Feelings of envy and jealousy, this symptom is more pronounced in people insecure in a relationship
- Low tolerance to frustration
- Passive communication style, without expressing own needs and feelings
If you consider that you have enough symptoms that coincide with the previous list, it is important that you consider some type of treatment, therapy or exercises to overcome insecurity emotional and personal.
Now that you know the definition of emotional and personal insecurity, its causes and symptoms. The time has come to know how to stop being insecure. For this, psychology proposes different lines of treatment:
1. Therapy to define self-concept
One of the solutions to overcome root insecurity is redefine the image that we have of ourselves. If in our case, emotional insecurity has its origin in childhood, it is important to change personal assessment and mental self-concept. Thinking about who we are regardless of what our education has communicated to us seems complicated, but with the help of a therapist it is a possible and very effective exercise.
2. Cognitive restructuring
This exercise based on cognitive therapy it can be very effective in combating insecurity. In this therapy, phrases and thoughts that we have about ourselves are collected, and restructured by focusing on them in a more positive way.
- For example: "I am going to fail this exam, I have not studied enough and I am not a smart person" To restructure this thought we must question the validity of thought "lI've been preparing for the exam for a week, haven't I really studied?"or"I should value my intellectual abilities more instead of criticizing myself so much"
It is very important to learn to identify the type of internal dialogue what we have. We are often unaware of the negative feedback that we are able to tell ourselves.
3. Assertive communication strategies
As we have explained previously, one of the symptoms of personal and emotional insecurity is a passive communicative style. This type of communication is characterized by not exposing our thoughts and emotions for fear of being judged.
Assertive communication is based on being able to express without offending others but without being afraid to express your rights and communicate your needs. If you want to know more, here we offer you some assertive communication dynamics.
4. Social skills training
Once we have tried to solve our thoughts and communication styles, we can work on social skills. An emotionally insecure person is often associated with fear and fear of rejection. Therefore, work on social skills from emotional intelligence It can be a very effective exercise to overcome insecurity in all aspects of our lives.
If you consider that these problems prevent you from leading a normal life, it is important that you go to a specialist psychologist to offer you the appropriate tools for your needs.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
