How to overcome the psychological abuse of your partner

Abuses in the partner imply important consequences in our mental health. Psychological abuse is, very likely, one of the types of abuse that leaves the most impression. Its consequences are difficult to deal with since we only see the tip of the iceberg, the processes psychological conditions that a victim of psychological abuse goes through are numerous and notably unpleasant.

Sometimes, if we do not deal with this type of abuse in time, we can drag its consequences throughout our lives, especially if they have occurred for a long time. Low self-esteem, mistrust in others and social anxiety are just a few repercussions that can lead to abuse. However, it is possible to get over it and get out of it. In this Psychology-Online article, we will provide guidelines and information to know how to overcome the psychological abuse of your partner.

Index

1. The mistreatment in the couple
2. How to stop a psychological abuser
3. Steps to overcome psychological abuse
4. Aftermath of psychological abuse
5. There is life after psychological abuse

There are many types of violence within a relationship: physical, psychological, social, economic abuse... they all consist of in the use of aggressiveness (active or passive) to coerce and impose power towards the other person. Typically, such abuse is called gender violence. This is because, in most cases, the victim is a woman and is abused just for the sake of it.

We can define psychological abuse as those behaviors that aim to attack the mental stability of the victim. Yelling, insults, threats, harassment in public or in private are just some of the clearest examples of psychological abuse. Knowing how to recognize it is the first step to get out of this situation, for this we have signs that can help us to know how to detect psychological abuse in the partner. Such as hostile attitudes, verbal attacks... and there is even questions that can help us detect an abuser, these can be the following:

• Do you have a tendency to control your friendships?
• Do you watch your way of dressing?
• Are you always upset if you don't do what he or she wants?
• Control your money?
• Does it tell you that you are crazy and make you feel bad?
• Are you ridiculing your work or your studies?
• Does he laugh at your physical appearance?
• Do you threaten to kill yourself or hurt yourself if you end the relationship?
• Blackmails you into having sex?
• Threatening to hurt you?

and above all...

• Are you afraid?

If some of these questions have resonated in our heads, it is time to ask ourselves how to overcome the psychological abuse of your partner. Once the attitudes are detected, it is time to point them out and think about getting out of that abusive relationship.

Many times, the abuser does not realize his actions (or does not want to realize it) and it is necessary to stop his feet to prevent the violence from escalating. Dealing with someone aggressive is not an easy task and, in some cases, it is best to flee from that situation to dedicate yourself to working on mental stability and strengthening our ability to overcome such traumatic situations say, build resilience.

The most important thing to defend against abuse is to keep your distance and work with emotional defense techniques to avoid being affected by everything you have to say to us. It is advisable to get out of that abusive relationship, but it is not always that easy. The aggressor often uses coercion and threats to prevent us from distancing ourselves from him or her. However, we need to act quickly to prevent their abuse from continuing to affect our mental health.

If the threats increase and the abuse does not stop, there is also the legal way to confront the psychological abuser.

After leaving the abusive relationship, the next step is to overcome its consequences, for this we can count on different psychological techniques focused on strengthen self-esteem and regain mental stability.

The first step we must take is accept that we have been mistreated. If we continue to deny it, if we do not want to see reality, it will be very difficult for us to overcome it. Doing so is very hard, but as long as we continue to consider that the behavior of those who abuse us psychologically is acceptable, we will not be able to overcome it properly.

Next we must change our way of seeing the situation. People who have suffered psychological abuse feel guilty and responsible for it, they also tend to think that the blame for what happens to them is theirs. We must learn to see what share of responsibility the other person has in her behavior, not only to blame her, but to free ourselves from responsibility for it.

Finally, it is convenient seek help from a professional group and specialized in abuse. The best thing, if we have the possibility, is to become part of a self-help group of people who have suffered psychological abuse, who will also provide us with access to specialized professionals with the abuse. With this, we can learn to recognize abusive behaviors and techniques to deal with them. The emotional support of someone who has already gone through it is very healing from an emotional point of view.

Throughout the process of overcoming, we must begin to love each other, develop our mental health and accept our experiences. If we can learn anything from a situation of abuse, it is to become stronger. Mental and emotional strengths play a very important role in this way out of an abusive situation.

The consequences of psychological abuse depend on each person and situation. There are variables such as the severity of the abuse or the duration of it that influence the depth of the mental injuries. However, in general, the sequelae are as follows:

• Generalized anxiety: Victims of psychological violence have learned to be constantly alert about everything, anxiety is usually a characteristic that lasts after leaving the abusive relationship.
• Low self-esteem: hearing insults and humiliations day after day from our partner (someone we initially appreciate and value) ends up affecting the image we have of ourselves and, as a consequence, decreases the self esteem.
• Addictions: When we do not find a solution to our situation, we sometimes look for other means of escape. Alcoholism in battered women is an example of a cognitive sequela after a situation of psychological abuse.
• Concentration and memory problems: The consequences of abuse can be so profound that they affect the processes of attention and memory. This is because our mind needs to disconnect to avoid experiencing psychological violence over and over again through memory and trauma.
• Social phobia: Another fear learned during the abuse situation is the fear of relating to others. If for some time we have lived with terror towards our partner, it is likely that this fear is transferred to the other spheres of our lives.

Not only are there cognitive sequelae, psychological violence can also produce physical injury such as tachycardias, spasms, respiratory problems, sexual dysfunction, and gastrointestinal disorders.

Coping after abuse is not easy. However, with time and proper therapy, we can appreciate that there is life after abuse. The goal of knowing how to overcome the psychological abuse of your partner it is, above all, learning to live happily and free from mental pressure.

Finally, it should be noted that both the abuse and the abuser himself must be reported and prosecuted. This type of action is intolerable and goes against human rights. If the abuser is not punished and her attitudes are not pointed out, he will probably attack another victim again.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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