Anger or anger, anger, rage or aggressiveness are aspects that affect many people and in various situations. These emotions help us to defend ourselves when necessary, but sometimes they remain over time and it becomes maladaptive. Anger can create a lot of annoyance if we don't know how to manage it. Therefore, in this Psychology-Online article, how to control anger, we explain what anger is, why you feel it, how to control it and several tips to better manage anger.
- What is anger
- Why am I angry?
- How to control anger
- Tips for managing anger
What is anger.
Anger is an emotion experienced as a nonconformity activation status towards something or someone who is perceived as the source of a negative event. The emotional reaction can range from feeling a little irritated to having a fit of rage. It usually starts with low levels of irritation or discomfort and builds until it erupts into a crisis.
Cognition plays a big role. Why? Thoughts feed the
Why am I angry?
Anger arises from the interaction between internal factors (low self-esteem, difficulty controlling impulses, perfectionism, among others) and external factors (arguments, relationship problems, problems at work, etc.).
Anger, like all other emotions, has a reason and a purpose. In this case, anger serves to make us realize that we do not like something or it doesn't do us any good.
It can manifest itself as a state that emerges at a certain time due to the fact of going through a complicated and threatening moment or on the other hand it may be a tendency of the person, forming part of his personality.
We must understand that the personality is not changed, it is modified. A person may be predisposed to anger. Or on the other hand, you may get angry as an isolated state and you may be channeling it in this way because you do not know how to face it in any other way. In this case, it would be necessary to analyze if there is any emotion behind the anger: sadness, fear? In both cases, the most important thing is to understand it and learn to control it.
How to control anger.
To control anger, the key is to understand that the problem is not in the things that happen to us but in how we react to it. It is not about suppressing anger, but about making it aware in order to address it in a more appropriate way.
The first step is to know what is causing us to anger and to be aware of the automatic and negative thoughts that invade us. Thus, you can work to generate alternative thoughts that do not turn you on so much from the inside. We are going to put an example:
- Automatic thought: "This is looking at me and surely he thinks I'm an idiot."
- Alternative thought: "This one is looking at me, but I can't know what he is thinking."
If we can control thought and physical symptoms, we will reduce the probability of aggressive behavior. To do this, you have to know how to identify when it happens to you and what sensations you notice in your body.
Tips for controlling anger.
Here are some practical considerations to help you manage anger:
- The relaxation practice, mindfulness, yoga... can help you better manage your emotions. For example the Jacobson's Progressive Muscle Relaxation.
- Breathe! Take a few minutes a day to focus on your breathing. Breathing deeply and slowly will lessen the physical symptoms.
- Learn to identify when anger appears to manage it on time. Do not allow the "ball" to get bigger because otherwise the explosion will be much worse. It is important to control anger from the moment it begins to be felt.
- Get away from the situation that is causing you anger so that you can face it with more perspective. Do not jump to conclusions, do not be impulsive and leave the place where the conflict is generating.
- Communicate assertively and thus you will reduce the probability of misunderstandings. The assertive communication it's of vital importance. Stand up, listen, build empathy.
- Be responsible of your actions and learn to apologize.
- Writes every day for 20-30 minutes and for 15 days what makes you angry. It is a way of expressing it until it is exhausted. If you repeat yourself it does not matter, write automatically, take it out.
- Avoid situations that always irritate you until you have to know how to control anger effectively.
- Rest well! When we are tired our reactions are more impulsive. It's important to sleep well in order to have more tools to manage anger.
- Sports practice. It is a good way to release tension from the body and mind.
If you see that you cannot control your anger reactions and they occur frequently, do not hesitate to go to a professional so that you can help manage and face emotions in a healthier way for you and those of around you.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to control anger, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.
- Martín, E. M. TO. (2018). Emotional intelligence Editorial Elearning, SL.