Why When I Get Angry I Can't Control Myself

Many times we are not aware of our emotions and how they control us until it is too late. Even many times it can be said that we regret behaviors which have been driven by an emotion.

Sometimes happiness may be the one that drives us to do something safe, but if anger and anger control us, it can become a big problem.

Throughout this Psychology-Online article, we want to show you how the emotion of anger and anger can control you to levels that make you act aggressively and, in turn, we also intend to show you the necessary guidelines so that can you control anger attacks.

Index

1. Why can't I control my anger?
2. Why when I get angry I lose control
3. Why when I get angry I want to break things
4. How to control anger and aggression

First, in order to answer this question, we must correctly identify the emotion of anger and, for this, we must know its definition. According to Nieto (2008) the go to is described as a primary emotion that occurs when an organism is blocked in the consequence of a goal or in obtaining or satisfying a need.

In turn, we also have to differentiate between the concepts experience of anger and expression of anger, where the first of them refers to those subjective processes and emotions related, which are characterized by an attitude of hostility on the part of the person who present them. While the expression of anger, refers to the aggressive behavior caused by the episode of anger itself.

This expression of anger is related to the coping styles that each person has in front of the event that triggers it. If you have trouble controlling your anger, you most likely have a coping style external, where you have the need to express your anger through aggressive behaviors, whether verbal or physical.

In the following article you will find more information about anger and its characteristics.

As you can read in some of our other articles on personality, each one of us is unique and individual. Therefore, trying to give an exact and collective explanation of the reasons why we express ourselves in one way or another is practically impossible.

Despite this, it is known as a result of various studies such as Shaffer's (2002) that personality, the way of expressing emotions and our behavior is determined both by internal factors (in other words, genetic factors) and external factors or environmental Here you will find more information about the personality formation.

To better understand this statement I give you an example. If from a young age your genetic predisposition makes you more prone to anger, you will tend to show attitudes of anger and anger even in situations which you could resolve without getting angry. And if, in addition, in your house you have seen that, in the face of a problem that causes anger, this provokes parents aggressive behavior, this environmental factor will make you more likely to behave in the same way when you get angry.

This control of emotions and feelings is carried out by a nucleus called the amygdala of the limbic system. The amygdala, apart from producing the emotional reactions, thanks to its connection with the frontal lobe, is also responsible for inhibiting behaviors.

The amygdala is a brain structure which allows people to choose those strategies correct in the face of the stimuli that surround us and therefore the emotions that these stimuli arouse in U.S. That is why, if a situation is threatening for us, the amygdala prompts us to have fight or flight behaviors. However, and this is when aggressive behaviors are created, if a person has a damaged amygdala, this can lead to reactions extremely aggressive or even a total loss of the feeling of fear, causing the person to put their integrity at risk physical.

In turn, if her connection to him frontal lobe is damaged, the person will have many difficulties when it comes to inhibit behaviors, which again can end up producing a lack of control and extreme aggressiveness. For example, if a situation provokes in someone with the frontal lobe the emotion of anger and this, as a result of anger wants to punch, there will be nothing in his brain that inhibits the behavior he wants to perform and in the end, he will end up giving the blow.

A very common way of expressing the emotion of anger is through aggressive behaviors, which are They deal with behaviors directed towards a target, either person or object, which results in some hurt.

Some of the people who tend to express their anger in this way indicate their growing need to break things around them when they feel angry and upset.

One possible explanation for this behavior is a need in the individual to release tension that your body accumulates during the state of anger and therefore, instead of acting aggressively towards a natural person, decides to do it against an object, which he knows that, even if it breaks, it will not lead to physical consequences in a being human.

However, there are other more adaptive strategies to manage emotional intensity, as well as techniques to de-stress.

The control of anger is highly conditioned to the coping style of each person. These can be the external (already explained before), the internal, in which the person tries to suppress feelings of anger and rage, but without being able to reduce their level of anger, and, finally, that style in which the person seeks to implement strategies to reduce the intensity of anger and put a solution to the situation that has given rise to the wrath. This is considered the most appropriate, because in this way, the person eliminates any trace of the emotion of anger.

There are a lot of psychological techniques used to control angerHowever, here I am going to describe the one proposed by Deffenbacher (1994) which is based on a series of steps to follow:

1. Increase awareness of the deficit. Always the first step is to become aware. The person must develop adequate sensitivity to his anger response, in order to start controlling it as soon as possible.
2. Interrupt the development of the anger response. Provide strategies, such as self-instruction or delay of emotional response, to cut off the development of the emotion of anger.
3. Relaxation. When you feel anger invade you, breathe in large gulps of air and slowly release them. With each breath, focus on a muscle and try to feel it relax as a result of the breath. Here you can see breathing techniques to relax.
4. Modify thoughts that can make you react aggressively as a result of the emotion of anger. Many times this aggressive attitude is triggered by some distortions or wrong thoughts, such as catastrophic thoughts, overgeneralizations, interpretations of the ideas and thoughts of others, which can make us excessively enraged. Therefore, learning to identify and modify them can help us when it comes to controlling aggressive behavior.
5. The troubleshooting technique It will help you learn to control anger, because usually, when a problem arises, if we are aware of the existence of a solution, this will not create anger or anxiety. Therefore, if we are aware of our ability to control situations and give them a solution, we will also be able to control our anger. In the following article you will find the troubleshooting technique steps.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Why when I get angry I can't control myself, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.

• Deffenbacher, J. L., Thwaites, G. A., Wallace, T. L., & Oetting, E. R. (1994). Social skills and cognitive-relaxation approaches to general anger reduction. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 41(3), 386.
• Nieto, M. Á. P., Delgado, M. M. R., & León, L. (2008). Approaches to the emotion of anger: from conceptualization to psychological intervention. REME, 11(28), 5.
• Shaffer, D. R., & del Barrio Martínez, C. (2002). Social development and personality. Madrid: Thomson.