For Mª Victoria Canosa Raña. March 1, 2018
Sometimes we get blocked when we have to make important decisions. But it's necessary. As the phrase says: Do you take something to be happy? Yes, decisions. Worse than making a decision is not making it out of fear of being wrong, and being chronifying a situation of uncertainty. When people are persistently indecisive, it is usually out of fear of failure, because we do not assume that it is normal to make mistakes from time to time, and that we must learn to relativize it.
Keep reading this PsicologíaOnline article if you are interested or interested in knowing Some ideas to overcome indecision.
Some guidelines can help us decide, although nothing and no one will guarantee that it is the best choice, or the most correct one. But it is our decision, based on criteria. One way to start is ASSESS THE CONSEQUENCES.
Surely we do it almost always, but we do it · "upside down", thinking and rethinking; without a clear order; and what we think today, perhaps, we will not remember tomorrow, or we will dismiss it without further ado.
To avoid this, it is interesting to write down all the consequences: we can list the advantages and disadvantages of a certain decision; short and long term. It is interesting to spend several days writing them; There will be days when we value negative consequences more and others will surely prioritize positive ones. Making a table with them we can see the globality of options and which ones we give more importance to.
Here, too, our priorities in life come into play. If we are clear about them, it will be easier to make a choice. If we haven't thought about it yet, we can reflect on what makes us happy and what we like; what are our values and what are the most important to us.
Another avenue to consider when making decisions is ANALYZE PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES. Throughout our lives we have had to make decisions in similar situations, or not so similar, but on which we can reflect; and we can consider the aspects that may have escaped us at that time and that, now, “in the past” are seen more clearly.
It is also interesting to analyze the foreign experiences from our own perspective; but always considering that what is suitable for one person does not have to be for another. Character, beliefs and personal values are present when deciding on one option or another. In fact, if my choice is consistent with my values, it is usually easier.
Sometimes we do not know exactly what we want, but we are clear about what we do not want. That can also help us. Let's try visualize how we want to see ourselves in the near future, what can help us to be happier, to meet our expectations (realistic, please), what is really worthwhile, what is really important and what remains in time…
And there is one last (and relevant) question to consider: ZERO RISK DOES NOT EXIST.
Do you intend to be fully prepared to decide? Well, you know that this moment is not going to come.
If you wait to be fully prepared, it is very difficult for you to undertake something different. And if you are also one of the people who focuses more on complications than benefits... we make it worse. Zero risk does not exist. So: weigh how much risk you are willing to take and go ahead!
And what can I do?
Well, for now, accept that, indeed, you never get to learn at all and that's why we make mistakes (And what we have left!). Then, accept how the circumstances have been in that past of ours, what we gave more or less importance to, our values back then (those were us). And then, the most valuable thing we can do now is look at today as an opportunity to improve knowing everything we know (thanks to that past).
In short, the possibility of being wrong always exists; But you learn a lot from mistakes, and it is not usually as dramatic as we think. Choose what you consider the best option, always in line with your values.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
