Psychological blocks in decision making

The main obstacles or psychological blocks cause damage in all vital areas and, especially, in the decision-making process. They are unconscious, they generally act together and nurture each other, which, however, has the advantage that by overcoming one or more of them you can face the others.

In this PsychologyOnline article we present psychological blocks in decision making that Rubin (1986) presents, specifically 17 blocks or obstacles, and some of them we have changed the name a little to facilitate their understanding.

Index

1. Loss of contact with your own feelings
2. Avoidance of problems and anxiety so as not to experience suffering
3. Lack of a scale of values
4. Low self-esteem or lack of self-confidence
5. Hopelessness, depression, and anxiety
6. Idealization or unreal image of one's own self
7. Cancellation of self, dependence on others, and obsessive need to please
8. Obsessive search for recognition and first place
9. Perfectionism and the desire to have it all
10. Hope for better things, longing for what you don't have and contempt for what you have
11. Live in imagination
12. Fear of self-loathing that may arise if a wrong decision is made
13. Self-reproaches caused by excessive demands
14. Blindness to various options
15. Fear and distortion of time pressure
16. Wrong criteria
17. Lack of internal integration or serious disorganization

It refers to the inability to feel and express feelings and emotions of love, joy, anger, sadness, fear. It is an unconscious process that begins at a very early age and progressively evolves as we get older. It usually arises in openly hostile and rejecting environments, which sabotage personal well-being and self-esteem.

Many times it is expressed through direct or indirect messages such as "Men do not cry" or "Do not laugh so loud", for example. "I don't want, I don't want // put it in my hat" is a Margarita saying that reveals the difficulty to clearly express that we like or long for something, that we say one thing but do other. Quite the opposite of "He who wants to kiss seeks his mouth", which indicates that motivation impels us to do something.

In short, insofar as we do not know or we don't take our feelings seriously, we sabotage our decision-making process because, although it is often rational, there is no doubt that affect plays an important role.

The saying "Better known bad than good to know" illustrates this psychological obstacle. People who suffer from it consider that options and choices, by offering a possibility for change, constitute a threatens the comfort of the familiar.

Any attempt at choice is likely to carry a huge burden of anxiety, but as soon as you start to adopt decisions, no matter how small, the person realizes that the terrible consequences that he imagined have not happened. Later, when he begins to participate more actively in his life - and not as a mere spectator - the Commitment is no longer as threatening and choices become more profitable and easier to perform.

Alludes to ignorance of the things that are important or not, which affects what we appreciate, how we use our time and energy, what our lifestyle is, and what kinds of people we can live and work with. Not knowing our values ​​is as if we don't have them. By avoiding the election, the lack of values ​​is strengthened with which the elections become increasingly difficult, thus creating a vicious circle. On the contrary, each time we make a decision, we order the affairs of our lives according to a certain scale of values ​​or priorities, the knowledge of one's own personality is strengthened and subsequent choices are facilitated.

The difficulty choosing options —especially when constantly jumping from one alternative to another — is usually due to the unconscious conviction that no option one makes is good enough.

The three are usually presented together, which is why Rubin calls them "fellow travelers." Whatever their cause, identifying them is a priority, since they affect not only the ability to select alternatives but also affect mental health in general. Such problems are symptoms of deeper difficulties and often require professional help.

Many people with low self-esteem they draw an idealized image of themselves, which constitutes a form of compensation designed to conceal and counteract personal mistrust. However, such an attitude only decreases self-confidence and hinders the decision-making process since ignoring and forgetting the real qualities and, on the contrary, acting on the basis of nonexistent qualities and talents, leads to wrong choices because judgment is found distorted.

Every time we give up on making decisions we override our own self, which in practice translates into conflict avoidance or rejection, so as not to attract attention. This way of dealing with conflict situations greatly hinders the behavior of choosing, since the decisions that taken tend to avoid success and even promote failure, since it attracts less attention and causes less anxiety.

As for himdependent on others, destroys the process of choice since we choose the same options of others or it is that others do it for us.

Having an obsessive need to please others greatly affects your choice, because your own tastes are not satisfied; in case a correct decision displeases others or is unpopular, the person rejects it in favor of a less suitable one or refrains from choosing.

The inordinate fondness for recognition it leads to poor decisions that are often the antithesis of success and happiness. People with this block want to attract attention; They prefer to be admired rather than esteemed since their self-esteem is based on the abilities and skills they possess. Below the search for recognition they have little self-esteem, which makes them feel obligated to protect it. Because they are scared of failure and humiliation, they avoid making decisions that could jeopardize their pride.

It consists of the unconscious belief that there are situations and perfect decisions, which leads to delays due to the desire to make decisions in perfect conditions to be sure that the result will be as well. The fear of self-loathing as a consequence of obtaining an imperfect result, it exerts an inhibitory effect and produces inaction.

It is important to clarify that the search for excellence is not the same as the search for perfection, since the first has to adapt to realistic criteria; if not, it becomes the justification for perfectionist needs.

The desire to have everything It is the unconscious belief that you can reach a perfect state in which all options are included and, therefore, avoid decisions and sacrifices. This hurdle costs more money, time, energy, and talent, and leads to failure. The saying "A bird in hand is better than a hundred flying" exemplifies the most appropriate alternative behavior.

The most characteristic of this obstacle are the endless delays and waits, which destroys the possibility of choosing good options. The victims of this blockade await a magic solution that far exceeds all available alternatives. Longing for what you don't have and neglecting what is within reach can lead to marked inactivity, which makes decisions that are made - if they do not involve a real commitment - are rather actions superficial.

On the other hand, illusions force us to live in an imaginary world and have nothing to do with creative ideas that could be put into practice by making the right decisions. As the song says "He who lives by illusions dies of disappointment."

Closely related to live on illusions and the hope of better things. The fact of living in the imagination is born of deep deficiencies and the need to obtain compensation. It is a blockage of reality that destroys the present and eliminates the joys of everyday existence, preventing success in any facet of life.

People with this block often display an obsessive need to always be right, which underlies a lack of self-confidence. At the slightest hint of failure - no matter how small - they severely despise themselves. They are scared of decisions and are unable to make them for fear of making a mistake. This is due to the joint action of perfectionism, exaggerated hopes, the need for recognition and annulment of the self, which leave no room for the acceptance of human limitations and the probable choice of alternatives wrong.

The victims of this blockade severe punishments are unconsciously inflicted in the form of depression, psychosomatic illnesses, accident proneness, multiple failures, destructive relationships, insomnia, appetite problems, and a variety of afflictions.

This blockade arises from the requirements and the "internal contracts" that people unconsciously agree with themselves. It takes the form of "should", "could" and "would like", used as later reproaches or justifications for a certain conduct. For example: “I should be the smartest”, “I could have gotten the best grade”, “I would like to have won the contest”.

It obstructs decisions, causing a state of paralysis and fear of breaking "contracts". In addition, it can become such a difficult habit to eradicate that it causes making authentic decisionsit is impossible to perform.

For there to be a decision making At least two options must be available, but the person with this block does not realize the alternatives available to him. At the base of this obstacle there is an idealization of the self and a fear of conflicts, so that the options that conflict with this idealized image and reject any that cause disturbance and anxiety.

It usually occurs when the person is under strong pressure, in periods of crisis and in stressful situations, which makes a provisional postponement necessary - until the pressure is down - it doesn't have to become a justification for endless procrastination.

The misleading belief that there is no time is often used with negative consequences, as severe pressure and a fear reaction can occur. It is one of the main obstacles in the decision-making process, since it prevents making use of the personal resources that are needed to choose an alternative.

When the person manages to free themselves from the burden of time, anxiety usually disappears and can use the time profitably to analyze and weigh the options, and to relax if necessary during the various phases of an election.

A correct criterion, that is, the ability to evaluate options rationally and profitable, it is very important for successful decision making. On the contrary, an erroneous criterion is often due to poor analysis and poor development of ideas. The emotional disorders, despair, euphoria, stress, and severely disturbed mental states impair people's judgment.

All the blocks discussed exert, to a greater or lesser extent, a detrimental effect on personal judgment, the influence of which is directly proportional to their intensity. The main component of the correct criterion is an objective vision of reality and of ourselves, without which our perception will be biased, distorted.

People can go through brief periods of emotional disturbance, during which it is not conducive to make choices. But, when such pronounced disorders occur that they involve intrusive thoughts, conflicting interests, absence of a strong sense of self, lack of a scale of values, etc. that prevent the integration or cohesion of all aspects of a situation, a treatment is imposed that can influence the development of a mature integrating force. This will allow the person to know who they are and what they really want, establishing an order of priorities, before being in a position to make real decisions.

In summary, we stated in a previous article that for make a proper choice it is necessary, among other things, to collect, evaluate and analyze information about ourselves. Such information integrates not only the resources or potentialities but also the difficulties or limitations.

As we have seen, one of the difficulties that impede decisions are psychological blocks or obstacles. Since it is almost impossible to fight against an invisible or unknown enemy (as proposed by Rubin), it is necessary - through self-exploration and self-analysis- know the blocks, identify them and understand them to act accordingly.

Faced with a decision-making situation, some questions that we ask ourselves could serve as a guide to help identify it: what do I feel at this moment? How does it affect my comfort? What things are important to me? Are the options at my disposal good enough? Do I feel uncontrollable anxiety? What are my real qualities? What would happen if my choice did not like, for example, my father? How will I feel if I am wrong? Do I give more importance to what I should do than to What I want to do? Am I aware of the different alternatives available to me? Do I often think that I should hurry? Am I objectively analyzing reality? among other.

If these questions are answered yes, the person may realize that they are trapped in some of the blockages, which constitutes a first step to abandon negative habits. As awareness is not enough, then you will have to strive for a change that allows you to exercise a more efficient decisional behavior.

However, when this is not enough (because the person is disorganized, when there are serious self-esteem problems, when there are feelings, thoughts and emotions, when more than a problem of indecision there is a problem of insecurity, etc.) help is required professional that can be provided by the counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, or psychotherapist, who can perform the necessary interventions to correct the problem.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Psychological blocks in decision making, we recommend that you enter our category of Cognitive psychology.