Attachment: the special mother bond

The human being is gregarious by nature, so one of its most important properties is its ability to form and maintain links with other individuals. The need for attachment (also known as attatchment) It is an instinctive response essential for our survival, learning and ability to reproduce.

The first attachment relationship that we have is the one that arises between the mother and the baby, in the following Psychology-Online article, we will do an analysis and talk of attachment: the special mother-child bond.

Index

1. What is attachment: definition
2. Attachment according to Bowlby
3. Main theories of emotional attachment
4. Types of attachment according to psychology
5. How to strengthen the mother-child bond: attachment theories

We define attachment as that strong bond that is formed between two people with an intimate and special relationship. In the field of evolutionary psychology, theories of attachment and how it is generated between an infant and its caregivers have been studied.

For a close relationship to contain attachment, three key elements must be given:

1. It must be a strong emotional, stable relationship and with a specific person.
2. This relationship produces positive feelings between the two people, such as tranquility, happiness and peace.
   
3. The loss or the threat of loss of the person, can lead to intense anxiety. Researchers of infant behavior understand the mother-infant relationship as attachment, describing that this relationship provides the functional scaffolding for all subsequent relationships the child will develop in life^[1].

A strong and healthy relationship with the mother or primary caregiver, is associated with a high probability of creating healthy relationships with others, while poor attachment seems to be associated with emotional and behavioral problems throughout life.

While it is true that human beings have many ways of relating to each other, the most intense and lasting relationships are those we establish with the family, friends and loved ones. The main theories of attachment define that there is an adaptive process that unites those people we consider important.

According to Bowlby's attachment theory, our bonding and bonding abilities differ in different ways. each individual, this theory aims to explain individual differences at the time of relating to the rest.

According to the portal "your other doctor"Both the ability and desire to form emotional relationships are related to a specific part of our brain, as well as to the balance of neurotransmitters.

In short: just as the brain allows us to see, smell, taste, think and move, so too it is the organ that allows us to love or not to love.

These brain capacities to relate to each other develop as soon as they are born (there are theorists who even affirm the existence of a attachment bond before birth between mother and child).

How does attachment develop?

The experiences during the first years of child development are a fundamental pillar in the learning of social skills and in the formation of the emotional intelligence. Skills such as empathy, emotional regulation and motivation, are capacities that we begin to develop in childhood and are modulated by the way in which we have been educated.

Concern for early relationship of the child with his mother it was one of the central themes of many researchers. The first works in this line were carried out by René Spitz, (1935) psychoanalyst, who began His works observing the development of children abandoned by their mothers who arrived at orphans. These observations allowed him to conclude that the mother would be the representative of the external environment and through her the child could begin to constitute its objectivity.

In 1958, Bowlby raised a hypothesis that was completely different from the previous one. It postulates that the bond that unites the child with her mother is the product of a series of behavior systems, the foreseeable consequence of which is to get closer to the mother. Later, in 1968, Bowlby defined attachment behavior as any form of behavior that causes a person to reach or maintain proximity with respect to another differentiated individual and favorite. As a result of the baby's interaction with the environment and, especially with the main figure of that environment, that is, the mother, certain systems of behavior are created, which are activated in the behavior of attachment. Attachment usually takes place in the first 8 to 36 months of age. He in short he argues that the attachment system is composed of behavioral and emotional tendencies designed to keep children in physical closeness to their mother or caregivers.

Based on how individuals respond to their attachment figure when anxious, Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, and Wall^[2], defined the three most important patterns of attachment and the family conditions that promote them, with the secure style, the anxious-ambivalent and the avoidant. Next, we will quote the book called "The Theory of Attachment. A current approach"by Mario Marrone and we will define the main attachment styles.^[3]

1. Secure attachment style

A securely attached child plays with toys, grieves when the mother leaves the room, interrupts play, and somehow demands reunion. When the mother returns, she comforts herself easily, remains calm and returns to play

In the interpersonal domain, securely attached people tend to be warmer, more stable, and more intimate. satisfactory, and in the intrapersonal domain, they tend to be more positive, integrated and with coherent views of themselves same^[1].

2. Avoidant attachment style

The insecure avoidants “avoided close proximity to the mother and did not cry or show open signs of disgust when she left the room. When the mother returned, these children actively avoided contact with her... they seemed to be more attentive to inanimate objects than to interpersonal events "

In adulthood, people who have shown an avoidant attachment style often have problems with intimacy, they say few emotions in romantic relationships and have little ability to share thoughts and feelings with the rest.

3. Ambivalent attachment style

A third group reacted strongly to the separation. When the mother returns, these children seek reunion and comfort but may also show anger or passivity: they do not calm down easily, they tend to cry in a disconsolate way and do not resume the activity of exploration. These children are classified as uncertain ambivalent or ambivalent worried.

Some authors affirm that this attachment style can lead to disorders such as borderline personality disorder. Find out here how to help a child with BPD.

Once we know how attachment and the special mother-child bond are formed, we offer you the following tips so that you can strengthen this bond yourself:

Holding the baby on the shoulder, rocking him, singing, feeding or hugging him are some of the acts that the little ones consider signs of love and affection. According to the scientific literature, for there to be a strong attachment bond, you must give yourself the positive physical contact. In addition, some neutotransmitters are released such as endorphins, oxytocin, serotonin... these elements strengthen the attachment in our brain structures.

For a young child, the most important relationship in her life is the one she establishes with her mother or her primary caregiver. This relationship also interferes with their neural development, shaping their brain and interfering with their learning in social skills. Therefore, a secure attachment style can be a solid foundation for future relationships.

Today, some theorists are debating the importance of the bond of attachment of the child with the father, since it turns out to be a figure of great importance for the normal evolutionary development of all beings.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Attachment: the special mother-child bond, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.

1. Source: tuotromedico.com
2. Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. N. (2015). Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the strange situation. Psychology Press.
3. The Theory of Attachment. A current approach. (2001) Mario Marrone. Madrid: Editorial Psimática. 401 pages

• Bowlby, J. (1998). Attachment: 48 (Deep Psychology / Depth Psychology).