The human being can experience a wide range of sensations throughout his life. Betrayal is a form of deception since whoever feels like a victim of this type of situation believes that they have been cheated on an emotional level. The pain of betrayal is directly related to the degree of intimacy achieved with that person who has been the main cause of this disenchantment.
In Psychology-Online, we tell you how to get over a betrayal so as not to let this pain become an excuse to close your heart to others. Just because this has happened to you doesn't mean it has to happen to you again.
Here are some Practical tips to know how to overcome a betrayal in your life:
1. Accept what has happened
The best way to turn the page after a betrayal is to assume and assimilate the events as they have occurred. It is not positive that you recreate what has happened but it is also convenient to avoid the opposite point of ignoring the situation. What is treason to you? Beyond the meaning of this term, this experience acquires a particular vision from the point of view of each affected person.
2. Go through a grieving process
There are different types emotions mourning. In a betrayal there is a type of death. For example, the trust you had in that person. You may need to take some time to integrate this new information into your world map, saying goodbye to the image you had of that person before this happened.
3. Analyze what your expectations were
All of this does not mean that that person is not valuable or that you have to cut the bond permanently. In fact, it is recommended that you reflect on what the expectations that you had deposited in this history. For example, if you viewed that friend or loved one as someone perfect, then it is inevitable that they will disappoint you because no one can live up to such high standards.
4. Talk to that person
Communication in the couple facilitates understanding and allows you to confront hypotheses and assumptions through that person's voice that as the protagonist shares with you his experience, his intentions, his reflections and his feelings. That is, it may be that when you kick that person out, you realize that, although he was wrong to act in that way, it was not his intention to hurt you.
5. Forgiveness
It is true that forgiveness is not an easy experience on many occasions. Fortunately, many events are not of such magnitude or seriousness that forgiveness involves a prolonged emotional conflict over time. Forgiveness is a decision that makes you feel free because it allows you to be above that situation that you consider to be a betrayal.
The capacity for forgiveness It not only depends on the characteristics and circumstances of that betrayal, but also on personal capacity. And in relation to this point, it is very important to have an attitude of humility. For example, remember those times when you felt really good about being forgiven for a mistake. What you consider a betrayal may just be a failure.
Betrayal can occur in a family bond, in a relationship or in a friendship. In any circumstance, it hurts. Why can it generate such an emotional storm in the life of the affected person? Then if you want to know how to get over a betrayal, you must know the negative consequences of this.
Betrayal calls into question one's relationship
In other words, the one who has felt cheated interprets the history of that bond from the new light of disenchantment by integrating what happened in the filter of his experiences. Therefore, this situation touches the heart of the trust you have placed in a person. Trust, in a way, it's an act of faith. Therefore, when a betrayal occurs, this fact acts as a test that breaks that faith.
It's an intimate feeling
The nature of betrayal it connects with the assertiveness of the person who feels cheated as such. That is, even if the other person explains the reasons why he acted in a certain way, wanting to show that he did not act with bad intentions, if his feelings Internal are those of someone who has felt betrayed, it is advisable to act with respect in the face of this internal pain because it is the heart that speaks from the impact suffered.
Sometimes, the nature of betrayal can be defined as an infidelity, whatever the case, if you want to overcome a betrayal, you must know these life lessons:
- You have resources and tools to overcome this situation. And if you think that you lack some kind of resource to face it, you can develop it from now on.
- We all make mistakes, people make mistakes. Sometimes the end of a relationship from what is experienced as a betrayal shows the low tolerance for error that a perfectionist mentality produces. Life and relationships demand an attitude of excellence that human beings can also make mistakes or not live up to what was expected of them.
- It is worse to commit a betrayal than to suffer it. The very act of committing a betrayal connects with the author of that work. Your whole being is not reduced to this action, however, it is a manifestation of the moment you are going through.
- Sometimes, it is possible to overcome a betrayal making a story stronger from what happened. However, if that happens, both of you must do your part to make it happen. Find out here how to overcome an infidelity and stay with your partner.
- The worst punishment that a person can suffer after committing a betrayal is being aware of what he has done and that he has damaged the trust of someone you love. That is, this is a load that connects with the self-awareness of an act own characterized as unfair.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
