Have you noticed that there are times when you are most irritable? Many things bother you, you have no motivation to do something, you seem more unfriendly and it seems that you like nothing at all. Sometimes we get to the point where we ourselves say: "I'm bitter."
There are many factors that may be influencing your feeling this way. In this Psychology-Online article, we will show you how to stop being bitter. We are going to help you identify if you are bitter, to clarify what may be causing you feel bitter and we will reveal some tips to stop feeling that way and improve your state of cheer up.
There are some signs that could indicate that you are bitter. Let's see what the behavior of a bitter person is. Check if there are any of these conditions in your life and if you are bitter.
- It bothers you that things turn out well for others, even if you don't say it.
- You focus too much on negative things or situations that happen to you.
- You notice that you are more pessimistic than usual.
- You have a hard time smiling.
- You no longer enjoy things that you used to like so much.
- You usually feel guilty for things of the past.
- You blame others or circumstances for the bad thing that happens to you.
- You don't feel like making plans so much with other people. You usually jump to the minimum attack or if someone has a different point of view than yours. It irritates you that someone thinks differently from you.
- Without realizing it, you constantly criticize yourself: I am useless, I am clumsy, everything goes wrong, etc.
I feel bad emotionally, what can I do? In this article, you will find the keys to remedy this situation.
Albert Ellis said, and he was quite right, that we have a number of rigid and wrong beliefs that affect the emotions we feel. They are beliefs about ourselves, about others, and about the world. One of these beliefs is that things should turn out the way we want or suit us and that if it doesn't happen like this it is terrible and we cannot bear it.
They are beliefs that lead to emotions like frustration, the anxiety, the wrath and of course: bitterness. Because the reality is that things don't always go the way we want. And that life is a succession of setbacks to face and if we let them overtake us we will be sad and bitter.
How to get out of bitterness? Working on these beliefs will be essential to see life from a more beneficial prism for us. It is necessary to accept that things cannot always be as we want, that problems and unsolicited changes arise in life and that we cannot change the others or the environment. Therefore, the only way to be calm and happy is through our attitude, because we can change that.
If you're wondering how to stop being bitter, here are some tips to help you do it:
- Accept the things you can't change: there are issues that do not depend on you and, until you are aware, they will annoy you and put you in a bad mood. Some of the things you can't change have to do with other people's behavior, but you can always change the way they affect you. In the end, almost all problems have the importance that you give them.
- Identify the things or situations that are causing you discomfortLook well in the different areas of your life, such as family, friends, work or leisure, and look for one or more sources of discomfort that can explain your bitterness.
- Focus on enjoying things you like: Maybe you stopped doing things you did when you were younger. Take a look back and recover a hobby that made you have a good time. Look for humor in movies or books. Talk to those people who give off joy and good humor, etc. In this article, we tell you how to be happy with yourself.
- Identify the source of your bitterness: If you know where it comes from, change it. There are many things you can do about it. Maybe you can't make your job feel good, but you can find another, change departments, or set up something on your own. Or maybe a family member will take you out of your boxes, and let him know how you feel with his attitude or understand that each one is the way he is and try to spend less time with that person.
- Stop pleasing others: How to stop being bitter? If you are constantly making plans that you do not like to please someone, it is time to stop. Do things that you like and, if anything, you can sometimes do something out of commitment, but don't let that be the norm.
- Give thanks for what you have every day: we forget that today many good things in our lives and, the fact of stopping to recognize what is in yours, helps you to become aware and to be grateful for all the good things you have.
- Pick an activity that involves movementIf you wonder how I can stop being a bitter person, going for a walk, running, dancing or exercising helps to release tension and produces well-being.
- BibliotherapyReading books focused on feeling good or pleasant novels can be very helpful.
- Accept life's setbacks: on the road of your life there were and will be obstacles and potholes. Don't let that make you lose your joy. Think that they are lessons, that they will happen and that you will enjoy again if you have a good attitude.
- Find someone to vent to: a friend, a relative, your partner or a psychologist. It's not good to keep it all to ourselves. Talking about the things that concern you with someone makes you feel supported and understood. Also, you will likely receive some good advice to help you.
- Don't let the past determine you: we all have burdens and some painful memories, but life is now. If you focus on the past it will be influencing your present. Focus on the present and you will change your future.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
