The mother and child relationship is very special, but also very complex. Sometimes, there is a break in expectations in relation to what the mother had planned for the future of her child and the free decisions that he makes as an adult in her destiny. When a mother makes her child feel guilty, a form of manipulation arises that, in many cases, is not born of a bad intention, but not to really assume that this child is already an adult and as such has full capacities to make his own decisions. Even if he is wrong.
The mother is one of the most important figures in the life of any child, therefore, this feeling of guilt generates a lot of suffering because instead of finding support in that figure of reference, feelings arise found. If at any time you have thought and felt as your own the statement of "My mother makes me feel guilty"In Psychology-Online we address this issue in this article.
Index
- Try to understand your mother
- My mother always makes me feel bad: advice
- Should I get away from my mother?
Try to understand your mother.
In a situation of this type you can judge your mother, you can come to think that your mother he becomes the victim by how she behaves or, conversely, you can try to understand their attitudes. Understanding does not mean justifying but trying to see reality from your own point of view. Why do you think your mother behaves like this with you? For example, you may be afraid of her loneliness, and decisions that make you fear that you may withdraw from her may become a focus of emotional conflict for her.
In addition, although children grow in age, many mothers fall into overprotection, simply because they do not finish to assume the real age of the child or because they live this bond from the role they have had for so many years.
Mothers teach children many lessons throughout their lives. But, also, children can bring new lessons to their parents. In this case, if your mother makes you feel guilty, she may not even realize it because she is so locked in her position that she is not able to see beyond that point of view. In that case, from affection, explain how you feel. Tell him that it is very important for you to have his support even if he does not agree with your decision.
My mother always makes me feel bad: advice.
Talk to your father to help you
In such a situation, if this circumstance blocks the mother-child relationship itself, it is advisable to seek the figure of a mediator. For example, the father, an uncle or a brother. Someone from the closest family nucleus who, from his position, can constructively influence to think about the common good of all.
That person can give your mother advice. Maybe she needs to talk about how she feels with someone outside the conflict. Perhaps your mother has fears, doubts, and insecurities that she needs to confidently express. Talking about it will do you good.
Your mother also made her life
The story that you are living now was also experienced long ago by your own mother when she in maturity she made her own decisions. In that case, you can give her concrete examples of how she, in the past, carried out dreams, emotional goals and purposes autonomously and freely. I mean, she made her own life. And you have the right to do yours. Among other reasons, because if you give in your decisions to please your mother, at some point you will regret having done it, and this concession will turn into a form of resentment.
Should I get away from my mother?
When your relationship with your mother and her disapproval affect your own emotional stability, then, it may be advisable mark a little distance In contact, however, do not interpret this message as a definite distance. The mother-child relationship is so important that communication must always remain open.
For this reason, find this balance that you need through your own experience to find the middle ground between having your own space and caring for your relationship with your mother. This distance is especially necessary when even though you have already tried everything to make her understand how you feel, you do not notice a change in her behavior.
You can propose an agreement not to talk about the issue that separates you for a while. In this way, you can open the door to other topics of conversation, plans and moments that are not constantly interrupted and blocked by this discomfort. Not talking about it does not mean hiding reality but pausing that is a nice break.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to My mother makes me feel guilty: what do I do?, we recommend that you enter our category of Family problems.
