How to explain to a CHILD the ABSENCE of her FATHER?

When the father of a child is not present in her life, it can be very painful for them, since a very important person is missing and that influences their growth process and their lives in general. To this day, we can find many families in which one of the members of the couple, in this case, the father, is not present. Either because he fled from his responsibilities as a father, because he was not prepared or because of other factors that prevent him from exercising these functions.

As it is a difficult situation in itself, it is very important to know how to communicate this situation to the children, since they have every right to know what happened and what were the reasons for the abandonment. The fact of communicating it to the minors is not an easy task, since we must know when is the correct moment to tell it and what and how to explain it, it is for this reason that, next, in this article of Psychology-Online, we will talk on how to explain to a child the absence of his father.

Index

1. When to explain to a child that their father is away
2. How to explain to your child that you are a single mother
3. How to explain to a child that their father has another family
4. How to tell a child that her father is not her father
5. Children's stories to explain the absence of the father

Children are curious in themselves, they ask questions and want the answers to their questions, for this reason, The day will come when they will realize, at school or in any extracurricular activity, that their family is not like the the rest. At that moment, surely, ask where your father is. To answer these questions, we have to adapt to her age, that is, if the minor is a preschool, we should avoid unnecessary details in relation to his father, as they might have difficulty in understand it. Instead, it can be explained that there are currently different types of families and each one with different members or with the absence of some, but all are valid. As it grows, other details can be added important but always taking into account the age of the minor, in order to ensure that she can understand and understand the situation.

How to explain to a son the absence of the father? If you are a single mother, you are probably wondering how to explain to your son that he does not have a father. You can explain to your child that he / she does not have a father above all using simple and sensible words. She can be told that, when the mother wanted to have a child, she could not, because she could not find the right the right person to have it with, so she put herself in the hands of doctors and they made the child was born. It can also be told that the mother does not know who is the person she helped and who was part of the pregnancy process, therefore, the mother does not know who the father of the child is.

At this time, the most important thing and what must be emphasized and emphasized is that she is a loved person and that they form and will form a good team for life, that the mother felt prepared to raise the child alone and that they do not need more people during this process.

As expected, each person has to make their way, meet new people, grow and face life based on their objectives and goals. When the minor's father has another family, it may be delicate for the son or daughter to understand it, but they must be made to understand that people evolve, change and improve with the time that they have the right to rebuild their lives with other people and they may even have other children with other people, but that this situation does not make them stop loving them less or that they cease to be important to him. The important thing is that they are all happy, there is respect and they love each other well.

We must bear in mind that the son or daughter deserves and must know the truth about your roots. It is a right you have and hiding it for a long time will not make any sense, but will only add to the confusion. Even if it is a conversation that causes you fear or insecurity, you have to be honest with him / her because you will do him more good than harm, because he deserves the truth.

Your partner can also help you in this process, since if he has exercised the functions of father (even though he is not her biological father) he can make you see or communicate how you feel about him / her or if you already consider him / her as a child, etc. Children should be informed as soon as possible, but taking into account their age, around 6-8 years they could begin to understand the situationFor this reason, prolonging this conversation until adolescence or its beginnings could cause conflicts, discussions and reproaches.

Books are very powerful tools, and even more so in children, since they are used to learn, transmit and communicate different messages and values. Here is a list of children's stories to work on and explain the absence of the father:

• Empty (Anna Llenas). It is a story recommended for children from 5 years old. It can help children who experience a sense of emptiness when a very important person is missing in their lives and work on resilience. It contains very visual and explanatory illustrations so that they can understand what they are feeling and why.
• Boats for Dad (Jessixa Bagley). It is a book for children from 3 to 6 years old that tries to show the emotions and feelings of a child who misses a very important person to him, through the story of a A child who lives with his mother in a beach house, also emphasizes the importance of loving and thanking the people who are close, who take care of them and support them at all times.
• Chloe wants to be a mom (Rosa Maestro). From the experience of the author of the story, she intends to accompany single mothers who have had their children through artificial insemination or reproduction. assisted and to teach how to communicate it to the minors so that they can understand this process in a natural way and thus be able to understand where they come from and their origins.
• Each family in its own way (Béatrice Boutignon). This book, starring animals, shows different families of animals, all different and similar in turn. Its main objective is to try that children understand and know the different types of families that may exist, from homosexual couples, reconstituted families to single-parent families, among others and that all have to be accepted and are valid.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to explain to a child the absence of his father, we recommend that you enter our category of Family problems.

• Jociles, M. I. and Rivas, A. M. (2010). Is the absence of the father a problem? The dissociation of paternal roles among single mothers by choice. Anthropology Gazette, 26(1),1-25.
• Morales, J. and Narvaez, A. (2012). Orientation guide aimed at mothers on how the absence of a father affects children aged 2-3 years at the Carita Feliz del Valle child development center. Research, development and innovation. Recovered from: https://dspace.cordillera.edu.ec/handle/123456789/2837
• Silva, M.L. (2011). Death, seduction and absence: the enigmatic place of the father today. Psychoanalysis Magazine, 9, 95-103.