People can close ourselves off from armor that we create as a form of personal self-defense. In that situation, we believe that by not opening our hearts to others, we avoid suffering. However, the true suffering is that which is born from the chronic mistrust shown in the question: "Why don't I trust anyone?". If you feel identified with this existential position, in this Psychology-Online article, we help you change this attitude to reconnect with others. A path to hope that can transform your life forever.
If you do not trust the people around you or those new to you, it is likely due to one of the following reasons:
- Excess of demand. For example, some people do not excuse even the slightest mistake in others. They have a sense of loyalty that leaves no room for human imperfections. In that case, when a friend makes a mistake, that person feels betrayed and crosses that friend off their contact list. Do you think this may be your case? Sometimes it helps to remember that people make mistakes and they are still trustworthy.
- Lots of suffering. There are really complex life stories, biographies marked by the pain of trauma and painful situations. The accumulation of many painful experiences can produce this situation of lack of trust in others. However, not by way of cause and effect, as many people with difficult stories are an example of optimism. Victor Frankl, creator of Logotherapy, paid constant tribute to humanism and hope despite having suffered the pain of living the harshness of a concentration camp. You can know his testimony through the book "Man's Search for Meaning."
- Fear of taking risks. Opening the heart carries a risk. A risk that those people who do not trust anyone are not willing to take despite all the benefits that friendship produces.
- Victimism and self-pity. That person who is in this position is conditioned by negative beliefs about her own life and bad luck as a habitual norm.
- Having suffered a deception or an important lie. When a person has disenchanted you by making you believe something that was not in reality, you may wonder if it is really worth having faith in others. In that case, you should always think that you cannot judge everyone by the specific actions of someone who did not act as they should. In the following article you can see how to act when a person lies to you.
- You don't trust yourself. How you treat others can be a reflection of how you treat yourself. Therefore, your level of trust towards others can be in constant balance with your own level of self-confidence.
It is not only about identifying the cause of not trusting anyone, but it is also positive to make a change in attitude. How to achieve this twist?
- Stop making excuses and live opening doors, instead of creating walls. Put aside the prejudices that lead you to observe others with a negative vision. It's not about trusting everyone, but it's also not about not believing in anyone.
- Remember episodes of your life. What person was by your side in a very important moment? Try to analyze how, throughout your life, there have been people who have shown you the significant value of trust.
- And at what times you have supported other friends in difficult situations? Your own example can inspire you to observe that, just as you acted in this way, other people would also have done it for you.
- Goodness is the natural state of the human being. Face the challenge of living for a week by paying special attention to those acts of kindness that you observe in your environment. You can also select good news from the newspapers. Observe the example of those people who stand out for their social commitment and through their works improve the quality of life of those around them. In short, try to contemplate love in life, since love is the basis of trust.
- Trust your intuition, that inner voice that tells you who can you trust and who can't. This inner voice at times can be wrong, however, at many times it can give you realistic information.
- Feel the order that surrounds you and how natural beauty flows around you. Feel how nature takes care of you, how your heart beats without you doing anything to make it happen. Therefore, learn to flow as a matter of confidence in life.
- You deserve to give yourself this opportunity. That is, think that ultimately by opening your heart to others you are giving yourself a healthy opportunity to live without rancor. Forgive what hurts you. Start over, you deserve to give yourself this gift.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
