Social relationships are very important. It can happen that at a certain moment, a person feels alone and without friends. The first thing to avoid in this type of case is to make deductions for the future. That is, not having friends in the present is not synonymous with not having them in the future. What are the reasons why a person may not have friends? In this Psychology-Online article we are going to answer your question about "Why don't I have friends if I'm a good person?". We will discover the most common causes and how you can solve this situation so that you are not so alone.
If you have ever wondered why you don't have friends, it is important that you do an internal self-inspection and analyze attitudes and situations in your life that could have made you stay alone. Here we discover the most common causes why you don't have friends:
Having neglected relationships
With the current pace of life, marked by rush, it is possible for a person to distance themselves from their long-time friends by focusing excessively on work matters. Other people also tend to
Lonely character
Each person has a way of being and this also conditions the vision that a person has of friendship. There are people who have a very lonely character and enjoy plans more autonomous and independent than of the spaces shared with others. However, it should be remembered that it is very healthy to have spaces in which to share experiences with others.
Attitude errors
It is possible not to have friends for making attitude mistakes that boycott long-term personal relationships. For example, intolerance is a possible attitude. Similarly, the role of victim also alienates others. The pride of one who constantly competes with others to reaffirm his desire for superiority. The individualist who goes about his business and does not assume that friendship is also commitment.
Low self-esteem
The lack of friends can also be linked to a low self-esteem in which the person has a distorted image of himself. This can cause you to not make an effort or encourage yourself to be intimate with people by being all the time comparing or feeling inferior. All of this takes a toll on personal relationships and ends up making people isolated and lonely.
Another common situation is not so much that you don't have friends but, deep down, you know that those friends aren't real. True friendship is one that you know you have someone by your side who it will help you in bad times but that, also, will be in the good ones. And it is that, many times, when we are bad we have an entourage of people around us but, when we are well and we want to make plans and go out for a while, we feel alone.
Therefore, true friends are those who they are for the bad, yes, but also for the good. People with whom, ultimately, share a large number of moments in your life and who are people you know you can count on for almost everything.
In the event that you feel that this type of friendship does not exist in your life, it may be that the reason is that you have become used to cultivating somewhat more superficial relationships. If so, we recommend that you turn your life around and start making these changes:
- Get more intimate with your friends: A good way to try to have real friends is to take advantage of the friends you already have to try to have a more intimate and personal relationship. To do this, choose the person with whom you feel closest and closest and propose to go for a coffee, go for a walk or enjoy an activity the two of you. In this way, you can relate outside the circle of friendship and begin to establish a more authentic relationship.
- Meet new people: It is also important that you expand your current circle of friends, especially if you do not think there is any with whom you can strengthen ties. To do this, you can sign up to do some leisure activity, such as dance classes, a hiking club, etc.
- Spend time with friends: In order to have real friends, we recommend that you make an effort and pay attention to them. A relationship, of whatever type, has to be cared for, watered and pampered. Therefore, send a message or make a phone call to see how the week was, try to meet regularly with that person and take an interest in their life. With these small gestures you will be able to take care of your friends and that, little by little, they become true friends.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
