Sometimes matters of the heart become a riddle that causes pain to those who do not understand why their sentimental history is marked by experiences that repeat a similar pattern from unrequited love and disappointment. It is in these cases, in which affective involvement leads to disappointment for having placed expectations on someone who does not correspond in the same way, when the protagonist can reflect on whether this repeated circumstance is the result of chance, or to some extent, influences her attitude in her own situation. Why do I fall in love with someone who doesn't love me? In Psychology-Online we tell you.
Index
- You protect yourself from the disappointment of a real love
- You turn love into a constant challenge
- Rationalize love to avoid idealization
You protect yourself against the disappointment of a real love.
When you fall in love with a person who does not correspond to you, that relationship remains within the framework of ideality
On the plane of your mind, you feel safe because you control what happens, however, when you get involved in a real love with a person who corresponds to you in the same way, you assume the uncertainty of feeling vulnerable because there are aspects that transcend your own control.
Therefore, if you repeatedly get excited about people who do not correspond to you, it is possible that, for some reason, you are protecting yourself from the fear of suffering in a relationship.
In this other article we help you to forget an unrequited love.
You make love a constant challenge.
It can also happen that you look at people who do not correspond to you, placing high expectations in that relationship, because you position yourself before that reality as a personal challenge. That is, you turn this sentimental goal into a way to reaffirm your own worth. Something that is associated with a low selfsteem or unstable that conditions you especially because it leads you to feel that you are more or less special depending on how that person feels about you.
You can feel this challenging experience with people who, for whatever reason, are not emotionally available to engage in a stable relationship. For example, someone who has a partner. There are also other types of obstacles, for example, getting involved with someone who lets you know that in just a few weeks she moves to live miles away.
When you experience repeated situations of this kind, in a way, you behave as if real love is only possible in a context where it is important. save big obstacles from the beginning. And from this perspective, when you meet a person and the story flows naturally, you lose interest in this lack of stimuli.
Perhaps, you wish to fall in love with all your might, however, also are you afraid of living this experience in as much as it means going out of your comfort zone. And this emotional contradiction leads you to live at the crossroads of searching for stories that are doomed from the start.
Rationalize love to avoid idealization.
"Why do I fall in love with someone who doesn't love me?" If you ask yourself this question, it is very important that you assume your own ability to guide the feeling to avoid becoming more involved in a relationship in which the signs of indifference are clear.
That is to say, a person may have caught your attention at first and be interesting to you, however, if you observe any data or any a circumstance for which you know that it is not convenient for you to get more involved in that relationship because you are about to relive something for which you already have past, It is recommended that you distance yourself and let it cool down that initial excitement instead of fueling the illusions with more romantic feelings.
Therefore, if you have been through this situation on more than one occasion, learn to be practical and do not focus your energy on an impossible story.
In this other article we give you some indications so that you are able to forget someone you like a lot.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Why do I fall in love with someone who doesn't love me, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.
