How to be less demanding: tips and tricks

Being demanding of yourself can be a very negative thing, especially when we ask ourselves for more than we can bear and, in the end, we live in a wheel of frustration, stress and exhaustion. Nobody is a super-hero and, therefore, we cannot expect to achieve impossible milestones for us. But, precisely, accepting one's own limitations is one of the most difficult aspects to assume, especially in very demanding people, for this reason, in this Psychology-Online article we are going to give you some tips so that know how to be less demanding in a simple and fast way.

Index

1. Being less self-demanding is up to you
2. Exercises to work on self-demand
3. Self-demand and self-esteem are related

In order to be less self-demanding, you will only need one thing: be willing to make some changes both in your routine and in your mind. It is important that you know that this situation depends solely and exclusively on you and that, if you do it well, you will be able to live in a more relaxed and optimistic way.

Next, we are going to give you some tips that will help you be less demanding of yourself and start building a better life:

• Analyze your goals: The first of all is that you ask yourself what are the goals you want to reach and that, doing a job of complete sincerity, evaluate if you think you are going to be able to really achieve them. We are people who have responsibilities, friendships, we need to enjoy, rest, etc., for that reason, it is essential that we assess whether those objectives that we have set for ourselves are really acceptable.
• Recognize your achievements: It is very common among self-demanding people that, when you fight for something and you achieve it, in the end you don't even notice that moment of glory and, immediately, you set yourself another challenge to reach. Error. It is important that you give yourself a break, that you savor what you have achieved and that, even if you set new goals, you start thinking about them in a few days or a few weeks. Savor the moment and be happy for you because... You've got it!
• Do not blame yourself: If you have not managed to reach that goal, do not whip yourself. No one is perfect and neither are you, therefore, learn from mistakes and analyze if, really, that goal was easy to achieve. In the event that you think that it was, you will simply have to analyze where you could have failed and try again. Remember: you learn from mistakes.
• Learn to say "NO": this is one of the most complicated but essential tasks in order to be less self-demanding. Being aware of our limits and how far we can go is vital in order to have a happy and relaxed life. That is why, from time to time, you should say NO without getting your conscience back or feeling bad. You are not a super-hero, so don't act like one.

So that you can really be less self-demanding, next we are going to give you a series of exercises to work the self-demand and with which you can relax that part of yourself that makes you work hard without having a minute to breathe and smile.

Below we offer you a list with very positive exercises to do in your day to day and with which you will be able to regain the direction of your life:

1. Eliminate your negative speech: It is essential that you stop mentally repeating ideas like "I'm not good for this", "I'm not smart", and so on. All this inner voice does is crush you and it won't do you any good, much less to motivate you. Therefore, the exercise that we propose is that you are aware of that negative speech and that, as soon as you detect it, eliminate it and change it to positive.
2. Make a list of your wishes: Many times self-demand causes us to lose sight of what we really want and, in the end, we are living a life full of stress and with little room for happiness. Therefore, we recommend that you take a paper and a pen and write on a sheet of paper what are your personal wishes, your dreams. Try to put aside the work aspect and focus solely on the staff. This will make it easier for you to know what you are fighting for and prioritize it.
3. See your journey here: Another of the exercises that we recommend you do to be less self-demanding is that you stop for a moment and think about everything you have achieved so far. Look back and think about how you and your life were a few years ago; With this simple exercise you will be able to be aware of everything you have achieved and feel happy and satisfied for it.
4. Be more positive: Seeing the positive side of life is essential to be able to value yourself in a more optimistic way and thus reduce the level of demand. Instead of focusing on what you have failed, think about all that you have achieved; Instead of thinking that the mistake is a failure, take it as a new learning opportunity. A positive attitude is basic to be able to live better and be happier in your day-to-day life.
5. Practice being honest with yourself: Many times, people are self-demanding because they have a somewhat idealized concept of themselves and, later, when they come across reality, they find themselves face to face with what they really are. For this reason, the last exercise that we propose is that you stop deceiving yourself and begin to be totally honest with yourself. Acknowledge your flaws, forgive yourself for them, and keep walking. It is essential that you know what your virtues are but, also, that you know what your faults are because, like this, you will not be so surprised or frustrated when you make a mistake or when one of your flaws comes out shine.

The people who are self-demanding tend to have low self-esteem And, therefore, their level of demand is higher than usual because, by achieving some goals or achievements, they manage to feel better about themselves and reinforce their self-confidence.

However, this is a vicious cycle worth destroying. It is essential to cultivate a high self-esteem, that is, an assessment of yourself that is positive, that is respectful and that, above all, you love yourself both with your bad things and with your good things. Practicing honesty with yourself is essential to be able to accept yourself as you are and, from there, live life in a natural and simple way.

As soon as we learn to cultivate good self-esteem, it is more than likely that the level of self-demand will drop since, at this point, we will know that we are not super-heroes and that we matter more than our goals. Therefore, in order to be less self-demanding, one of the most essential steps is for us to work to improve self-esteem and to be comfortable and happy to be who we are.

In this other article we give you some tips so you can learn to increase your self love.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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