How to overcome Peter Pan syndrome

Those adults who behave like children and who refuse to accept the responsibilities that come with adulthood can suffer from what is called Peter Pan syndrome. This syndrome is seen more frequently in men who have become anchored in their childhood stage and who They have a deep fear of personally maturing, growing and accepting all the roles that age touch. In addition to this, it has been observed that in most cases people with Peter Pan syndrome show a great affective deficit and an amount insecurity and low self-esteem, which leads them to have serious difficulties to develop personally and relate to the people of their environment. Despite the fact that this condition may be the result of a combination of factors, it has been pointed out that it generally has its origin in the childhood of the affected person, since Either because of having had a very happy childhood that, later, tends to idealize or, on the contrary, because of having lived a childhood totally devoid of affection stable.

In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to explain in detail what are the characteristics of the personality of these people and what are the guidelines to follow in order toovercome Peter Pan syndrome.

Index

1. What is Peter Pan syndrome
2. Symptoms and characteristics of Peter Pan syndrome
3. How to overcome Peter Pan syndrome

The peter pan syndrome refers to Child behavior that some adult people they continue to have, which despite their age, do not know or do not want to assume and accept the responsibilities of their actions and adult life. They keep acting like children refuse to play an adult role and they are characterized by having great emotional immaturity, significant insecurity and a strong fear of not being accepted or loved by other people. This severe fear of rejection leads them to take refuge after eternal youth or childhood, which makes them feel more comfortable and be able to cope with their daily lives without having to complicate themselves too much or think about excess.

The term "Peter Pan syndrome" was coined by the American psychologist Dan kiley in the 80s, who observed in many of his patients that resistance to grow and to assume the demands that are expected in adult life, such as being a parent, developing professionally, having responsibilities, having stability, etc.

Said syndrome is a lot more common in men that in women and despite the fact that these people may give the impression that they are very happy and that they enjoy life under the motto Carpe Diem, the truth is that deep down they are insecure people, who need protection from others, are dependent and have significant feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction. All of this hinders their personal development and entails certain complications when establishing social relationships and interacting with the environment.

Next, we show what the characteristics of adults with Peter Pan syndrome In order to make an accurate diagnosis and, later, find the appropriate solutions:

• Irresponsibility and impulsiveness: They have a childish behavior, they do not think before acting or take responsibility for their actions. On the contrary, they pretend that they are the others who assume these responsibilities and also tend to blame the other if something has not turned out as expected.
• Immaturity: they are incapable of assuming the maturity and responsibilities that adulthood implies. They tend to idealize the youthful stage and deny that they are adults regardless of their age.
• Insecurity and low self-esteem: Although they may come across as confident or arrogant people, they have great self-doubt and a low self-esteem. It is very difficult for them to open up emotionally to others for the fear of not receiving the affection or affection expected.
• They have no future projection: They think short-term, live in the moment, and enjoy fleeting pleasures without worrying about tomorrow.
• They have a personality narcissistic and selfish: In addition to wanting the attention of the people around them, they only think of themselves and focus solely on their problems, completely disregarding the problems of others.
• They feel dissatisfied with what they have and what surrounds them, but they do nothing to change their current situation. They want to get everything they want without having to put a lot of effort into it.
• Low tolerance for frustration: they do not accept criticism or opinions that we like well. They want their wishes to be carried out immediately, and if they don't, they often have an angry reaction similar to a child's tantrum.
• Have fear of being alone and, on many occasions, they experience sadness, anxiety, depression or feelings of guilt.
• They think that compromise is an obstacle to your total freedom. In the following article, we show some tips to overcome fear of commitment.
• They hide from reality through lies and excuses that allows them to hide their inability to mature and grow.
• They idealize the stage of youth.

To overcome Peter Pan syndrome, in the first place, it is very important that the person suffering from it acknowledge that you suffer from this problem of maturity and that, not being able to manage it by himself, he needs professional help to assume his daily responsibilities and start living as an adult.

The best option to treat Peter Pan syndrome is to go to psychological therapy to be able to identify the origin and the cause of this resistance to growth. From there, the treatment to be followed can be established, since as we have commented Previously, behind this syndrome certain affective deficiencies are hidden that must be solve.

The psychological treatment in order to help overcome Peter Pan syndrome usually encompasses the following:

• The objective should be to allow the affected person to assume their daily responsibilities, manage their emotions, increase their self-esteem and tolerance for frustration.
• Help you learn to manage your thoughts and avoid making yourself a victim or feeling bad about yourself and others.
• Provide the necessary tools to detect the advantages of adulthood over those of childhood, which is a bygone era. In this way, he will be able to develop positive thinking about his maturity and adulthood and it will be less difficult for him to assume responsibilities. Ideas such as the economic and personal freedom that we have in adulthood, the power to choose, can be emphasized and make our own decisions, the fact of being able to decide with whom we want to relate them and with whom not, etc.
• Try not only to worry about your problems, but also to be aware of the concerns and problems of the people around you.
• Boost your self-esteem and give you the necessary guidelines so that you can increase self-confidence.
• Eliminate from your thinking the idea that maturing means losing that "childish" part that we all have inside of us. The important thing is to make him understand that each of us must achieve a balance between the two dimensions of our personality.
• Help you feel capable of taking charge of your life and have the initiative to achieve the things you want with effort and improvement.
• Make a list in which you indicate everything you want to achieve in your life, starting with short and achievable goals to progressively progress.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to overcome Peter Pan syndrome, we recommend that you enter our category of Clinical psychology.