What is being a NARCISSIST?

We are used to taking as a narcissist a person who praises himself a lot and finds it difficult to recognize his mistakes. However, even if a person possesses certain narcissistic traits, this does not imply that they could be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. On many occasions, it is simply a person with a high ego. Being a narcissist is a very complex thing with quite pronounced symptoms.

Does that person you are thinking of always wants to be the center of attention? Can't stand criticism? Does he treat others badly by trying to show that they are inferior to him? These and many others are the characteristics of a narcissist.

Next, in Psychology-Online, we will see what is being narcissistic and we will show the main characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder in order to you can have a more approximate idea about whether you, or someone in your environment suffers from this disorder psychological.

Index

1. What is narcissism?
2. What is it to be a narcissistic mother?
3. Narcissism in relationships
4. How to treat a narcissist

What does narcissistic mean? To know what a narcissistic person is, you need to know the definition of narcissism.

Definition of the RAE

If we go to the Royal Spanish Academy (RAE), what does narcissism mean? Narcissism is what a person who has a excessive appreciation for their own qualities, that she declares herself in love with herself, and that she dresses up too much.

Narcissism in psychology

However, if we stick to the definition provided by psychology, according to DSM-5, the narcissist is characterized by a person with behaviors of greatness, in need of admiration and lack of empathy.

In addition, the personality of a narcissistic person has the following characteristics:

• Feelings of greatness and arrogance.
• Fantasies of power and of success.
• She believes that she is special and unique and as such can only be understood by people of the same status.
• Excessive need for admiration.
• He thinks he has more privileges than he actually has.
• She takes advantage of personal relationships to obtain certain ends.
• Lacks empathy.
• You envy others or think they envy you.
• Show a lot of arrogance.

Here you will find more information about the characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder.

We can meet many narcissists throughout our lives: a boss, a friend... However, it can affect us emotionally if it is, especially, a mother or a partner. Once we have seen what it is to be a narcissistic person, we will see what it is like to be a narcissist and how it affects the role of mother or partner.

A narcissistic mother is characterized by a lack of empathy with her children, excessive coldness, control and jealousy. She tries that her children have no independence since she needs to have everything under her control. She overrides her children and her feelings and takes all the frustrations out on them. Narcissistic mothers pretend, especially with their daughters, to be like them. However, even if a daughter were practically identical, for the narcissistic mother it would never be enough, so she will never come to accept the way of being of her daughter.

What's more, the narcissistic mother constantly fears that the daughter "is better" than she, which leads him to want to ruin the daughter's relationship with others, such as friends or partners, and even try to have relationships with ex-partners of her daughter.

On the contrary, with children there is usually a excess of flattery and overprotection. This can cause self-esteem and relationship problems with the narcissistic mother's children.

In a family in which the mother is narcissistic, everything revolves around the needs that she has. Only her opinion and feelings matter. In addition, they tend to criticize family members against each other in order to make them stand up to each other. In addition, she assigns improper household chores for the age of the children and exempts her from her own responsibilities. On the other hand, criticizes the decisions of others and does not encourage them to progress work or academically.

If you think your mother has a narcissistic personality, knowing the basic guidelines about how to live with a narcissist.

Another type of narcissism that can cause great emotional damage is that which occurs in relationships. What is a narcissistic person like in a relationship? Narcissistic couples tend to require constant attention and adulation of the other member of the couple. In addition, they have fear of abandonment so they become controlling and look at messages, they want to know all the time where their partner is and with whom.

They are emotionally very intense people since their expectations in relationships are what they see in romantic movies. In addition, it affects them a lot that their partner sees any defect in them and in the same way they try that, at the same time When choosing a partner, this is perfect and appropriate to the status that they believe they have.

Like narcissistic mothers, they have a lack of empathy and they believe that the only problems that matter are their own. They rarely break up with their partner and if this is the one that ends the relationship, they will try to continue maintaining some type of contact with said ex-partner. What's more, it is very difficult for them to accept the end of a relationship so they will try to resume the relationship at some point.

In this article you can see how a narcissist in love acts Y how to identify a partner with a narcissistic personality.

If you are the victim of a narcissist, you should try do not consider the criticism they make you. Remember that it is part of the disorder as well as the lack of empathy. In any case, it is a problem that requires psychological support, both for those who suffer from the disorder as well as for the people around you, so it would be important not to try to fix the situation without the professional supervision as further damage can be done. Find out here if a narcissist can change.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What is it to be a narcissist?, we recommend that you enter our category of Personality.

1. ROYAL SPANISH ACADEMY: Spanish dictionary, 23rd ed., [Version 23.3 online].
2. American Psychiatric Association (APA). (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-IV-TR.Barcelona: Masson.

• Lopez, A. (2016, August 30). Narcissists - Part 2: Your romantic relationships and how to deal with them.Recovered from: https://www.eldefinido.cl/actualidad/plazapublica/7345/Narcisistas-Parte-2-sus-relaciones-sentimentales-y-como-lidiar-con-ellos/