How do I know if my child is TRANSGENDER?

Each one of us, at birth, is assigned a biological sex that determines whether we are biologically male or female. Most people identify with their sex and adopt the roles of this sex, the so-called gender. Both implicitly and explicitly, society has determined unwritten rules that tell us that there are things for women and things for men, or things that are for both genders. A clear example of this can be toys or clothes.

Currently, society is advancing so that these norms that dictate how your behavior should be according to your sex disappear and each person can act with total freedom regardless of gender. All these changes are given by the feminist revolution and with the purpose that everyone is free to express how you feel without being judged for it, as well as favor a more egalitarian. After all this brief explanation, we can ask ourselves, what happens today if a child does not feel like a boy or a girl despite the fact that her reproductive organ indicates it to do so? That is when we find ourselves facing a transgender case. In this Psychology-Online article we want to facilitate

Index

1. What is being transgender?
2. How can I detect that my child is transgender?
3. Why are transgender children born?
4. How can I help my trans son and daughter?

What does transgender mean? Transgender boys and girls are those who do not identify with the biological sex given at birth. The meaning of transgender is that there is no congruence between what the reproductive organs say they are and how the boy or girl feels. In many cases, this dissonance between sex and gender produces discomfort in the person who suffers it: the so-called gender dysphoria.

To explain in a more understandable way the whole gender issue, Sam Kileman designed the "Genderbread Person" this is a tool to explain the differences between experienced gender, gender expression and the gender assigned to the born. The scheme would be such that:

• The gender identity or experienced gender would respond to the brain (female, genderqueer or male). In this article you will find what is gender identity and how is it constructed.
• The sexual orientation it would respond to the heart (heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual). Here you can see the types of sexual orientations.
• The sexual expression would respond to the whole body (female, male or none)
• The biological sex to the reproductive organs (female, intersex or male)

There are different actions, behaviors and verbalizations that can indicate that our son or daughter is not satisfied with the sex granted, here is how to identify a transgender boy or girl:

1. Boys and girls with a strong desire to dress like the opposite sex and reluctance to wear clothing that is conferred on their gender.
2. clear preference for roles of the other sex in imitation or fantasy games.
3. They prefer toys or activities assigned to the other sex. For example, princess toys in children.
4. Strong preference for companions and companions of the other gender.
5. Rejection to everything that is assigned to your biological sex. They avoid everything that is considered their gender: toys, activities, behaviors.
6. They don't like their own sexual anatomy, in boys aversion to the penis and in girls to the vulva.
7. Desire to have sexual characters of the other gender.
8. In the case that they are already adolescents, we also observe the rejection of secondary characters (boobs, pubic hair, voice change, etc.).
9. Desire to be treated as a person of the other gender.
10. All these features are present for at least 6 months.
11. The sex-gender incongruity produces discomfort in the child or adolescent.
12. There's a deterioration in social life, school or other areas that are important to the child because of that inconsistency.

The reasons why a person is born in a body that does not feel like theirs are still unknown, even so, there are some hypothesis about biological factors that can explain why this dissonance between sex and how the person it feels.

In our anatomy, men and women present small differences at the cerebral level, on many occasions, due to the different hormones that we secrete. Years ago, to study sexual dimorphism, a study was made with male and female rodents where observed that a nucleus of the brain (bed nucleus of the terminal stria) was larger or smaller depending on the testosterone levels. That means that the nucleus in men will be larger than in women. From here, it was extracted that people with gender dysphoria have this nucleus that is more similar to the opposite sex.

This hypothesis shows that in transgender people there could be a functioning in terms of hormone secretion more similar to the opposite sex. It should be noted that it is only a hypothesis, and that today an exact cause of what can cause the non-concordance is not known.

It is normal for mothers and fathers of transgender children to want to know how to help a transgender child or adolescent. Here are some basic guidelines for helping a transgender son or daughter:

• Freedom to express. It makes it easier for your son or daughter to express in her house how she truly feels, it helps her to develop the identity that he or she wants. Try not to deny her playing male games, in the case that she is a girl, or vice versa, as well as favor the clothing that she wants.
• Information and training. One of the things that can help at a family level, sometimes, is to understand more about gender and its complexity, for this you can It will be useful to form or find an association that provides the necessary support to families and therefore to children transgender.
• Communication. It is important that your child feels that her home is a space where she can communicate freely, express her concerns and discomfort as well as her joys. For this it is important not to judge and empathize with him or her.
• Positive reinforcement. Today, despite the cultural changes that are being made, it is true that the transgender group belongs to a social group minority and sometimes the object of ridicule, misunderstanding or rejection, therefore it is important that at home you receive an environment with the maximum of possible reinforcement.
• Psychological Support. It is important that the person presenting this gender incongruity can have an external figure with whom to share their concerns and needs and which can give you certain tools that help manage the possible discomfort arising from the dissonance.
• Exploration environment. Try to allow your son or daughter to experience their sexuality as less conditioned as possible, so that they better understand which one is best suited to them and themselves.
• Normalization of the situation. As far as possible in the family environment, it would be good to be able to experience that a family member is transgenic with the maximum possible normality, facilitating that it can be expressed and not labeled as something "rare", but natural.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How do I know if my child is transgender?, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotional and behavioral disorders.

• Lawrence, A. TO. (2010). Sexual orientation versus age of onset as bases for typologies (subtypes) for gender identity disorder in adolescents and adults. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 39(2), 514-545.
• Marantz, S., & Coates, S. (1991). Mothers of boys with gender identity disorder: a comparison of matched controls. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 30(2), 310-315.
• Mazur, T. (2005). Gender dysphoria and gender change in androgen insensitivity or micropenis. Archives of sexual behavior, 34(4), 411-421.