My son does not want to study: what do I do?

Do you often wonder why your child doesn't want to study? You are not the only one, many parents continually ask the same question without finding an answer. One of the most common reactions in these cases is to blame the child, but things are not so simple, it is not a causal relationship. Your child from birth, grows up and interacts in various contexts (school, family, friends ...), and all those contexts Together with their characteristics, they influence his behavior, so your child may not want to study for numerous reasons. In this Psychology-Online article, we explain some reasons why your child does not want to study and we show you tips for what to do about it.

Index

1. Why doesn't my son want to study
2. What do I do if my son does not want to study?
3. Should Parents Help Their Children Study?

Lack of motivation

Normally, human beings carry out certain activities because we have a goal or a motivation. The main responsibility of a child is to learn, but if he is not motivated, he probably will not. Your role as a parent is

Family problems

There are parents who think that children do not find out about problems at home, but they are wrong. Children pay close attention to discussions at home even when they seem to be concentrating on some activity, such as a game. They have the sensitivity to feel when things are not going well and the situation worsens when children witness violence in their home.

When there is violence at home, children are affected directly (witnessing the violence) and indirectly (the problems do not allow parents to be available, or with the patience and calm necessary to care for their child in a adequate). One of the negative effects is bad school resultsIt is his way of showing that he is affected by what is happening in his house. Therefore, family problems can be a reason why your child does not want to study.

Not understanding the subjects

Without the need for a child to be developmentally late or have a learning disability, they may not understand what they are taught in school. By not understanding the material taught in some subjects and seeing that other children seem to understand it, you may feel inferior and one way to deal with it is to appear to lack interest in studying. I have low grades, but not because I can't, but because I don't want to study.

It would be advisable for parents to identify the cause and reinforce it with classes at home for a while. In this way, the child feels the support of her parents, does not feel alone and will face the problem with more security.

Bullying (some classmates insult you, threaten you ...)

It is a very common phenomenon in schools. The violent behavior of some students is a problem that is increasing year after year.

In some cases, behind the lack of interest in the study, there is a case of bullying. The child stops perceiving school as a safe place where he is going to learn, since he is insulted, threatened ...

If you do not know how to act before a child who does not study, here are some advice that you can put into practice for motivate a child to study:

Establish specific areas of the house to study

It is very important that there is an area of ​​the house destined to study, where the conditions are suitable, that is, there should not be stimuli that distract you, noises, the desk must be spacious for books, pens and all materials must be available so that the study is not seen disrupted.

Establish a routine

Try to establish a more or less stable schedule during the week to create a routine. For a child to function well, stability and routines are important.

Try to make snack and dinner at about the same time every day, so your child will know when her homework time is and can go to sleep soon. Sleep is another very important factor for the child to be rested and motivated to study.

Organize study and homework

Organize each of the school months on a calendar with your child. In this way, he will learn with you how to organize his tasks. It is interesting to use markers of different colors for each type of task, for example: blue marker for exam dates, red for work due dates, etc. The calendar should be placed in a visible place in the house as a reminder so that tasks will not be forgotten.

Teach him that studying is more than just doing homework

A very important aspect that should be explained to children is that doing homework is not studying, they must do other tasks that are very important in the learning and study process:

• Make annotations while reading texts.
• Learn to make diagrams from texts.
• Learn to study tables and charts.
• Learn to make summaries from readings.

These are some tasks that contribute to meaningful learning and that studying is not just a rote task.

During study time, try to watch for signs of frustration

It is very difficult to learn when a child is angry, unmotivated, or upset because the task is too long or difficult. In these situations, the advice of parents is very important. For example, you can divide an exercise into two parts and take a break between the two... If we observe frustration in our child, it is better to stop than to continue insisting that the exercise end. In this way, we avoid associating study or homework with a negative situation.

The answer to this question varies depending on each specific case:

• Yes: if it is productive to do so, that is, parents check spelling or check that a math problem is well done. In this way, parents are a support that reinforces and provides security to their child who has done the exercises.
• Not: if it is something that the child can do without help and correctly or if it seems that he is on the way to learn the process Helping is not doing homework for our children or solving things without them trying. It is about being a support that accompanies their own learning.

Help and support must be given in a way slow and loving. Helping with a frowning face or inappropriate punishing gestures can be worse than no help.

For example, your child completes a math problem, you read the instructions, and you check that it is done right. Do not forget to make positive comments about it, reinforcing it is very important for your learning. It is important that you do not associate homework or study with unpleasant moments or arguments.

Something that can be done so that he learns while being motivated is, for example, to involve him in planning a trip, making him look on the map where the destination is located, look for information about the place... In this way, you are helping them develop their interest and skills in searching for information and investigation.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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