Both in couple relationships and in friendship and even family relationships, you may notice that the relationship with that person is no longer the same as before. Although in this article we will focus on relationships, why does this happen? Normally, when a relationship gets cold, they tend to throw balls out and think that the other person is to blame for not giving us the attention we deserve, but is that really true? Perhaps you have to put aside the egocentric point of view and put a vision with a little more distance to realize things. In this Psychology-Online article, we give some tips for what to do if a relationship goes cold. Take note!
Despite the fact that each relationship is a world and there can be many and varied reasons that extinguish the flame of love, below we are going to show some of the Most common causes of a relationship getting cold or stagnant:
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The stage of infatuation ends: Relationships go through different stages and when the first phase of "falling in love" is overcome and the relationship progresses, that's when we start to see what are the defects of the other person, which previously went unnoticed by the idealization with which we had fallen in love. It is at this time when many people have doubts, they may feel that the defects just discovered outweigh anything positive and come to wonder if they have really bonded with the person adequate.
- The monotony in love: monotony and routine can also wreak havoc on a relationship and make it cool. When there is an obvious lack of communication and spontaneity, everything is perfectly organized and structured in the relationship, sex is routine and boring or you do not have any project in common and, in addition, all this becomes a prolonged situation, it is very likely that a emotional distancing between both members of the couple, which can end up ruining the relationship definitively if it is not tried to solve this situation.
- Distance can cool the relationship: Long-distance relationships involve a series of changes in the couple's habits and a great effort must be made to adapt to this new situation and manage to keep the love that one has. And although there are cases in which that distance strengthens the relationship, there are many people who do not know how to cope with the situation of being physically separated from their partner. In addition to this, communication may decline or there may be an increase in mistrust by not fully knowing the other's environment.
- Frequent arguments and relationship problems: This is perhaps the most common cause of a relationship going cold. If the fights are a constant between the couple, you do not agree on almost anything, you have different priorities or they arise jealousy problems, cheating, infidelity..., it is very likely that there is a great distance between the two, that the relationship does not work and that one or both of them even consider the possibility of ending this situation definitely.
If you recognize some of the above signs in your love relationship, it is very likely that you ask yourself the question: What can I do if my relationship gets cold? Take note of the following tips and put them into practice to be able to deal with this situation in the best possible way:
- Before acting, think Well if you want to continue the relationship or, on the contrary, you feel that the time has come to end the story that unites you with your partner. It is very important to reflect, to think about why you have reached this point and what are the reasons that have led you to this emotional distancing. Reflect on how you feel towards your partner and think about what could help you bring magic back to your lives. If you find situations where you could get closer again, what happens is that the context fails, but not the feelings. You should assess this before making a decision. On the contrary, when the couple does not share goals or projects, when they do not show responsibility and care for the other, separation could be the best option. In cases where there is disrespect, violence in any sense, whether psychological or emotional, it is when a separation is necessary to end the suffering that this provokes. In the following article, we show some tips to get out of a toxic relationship with a partner.
- Talk to your partner and tell him how you feel: Now, if you are very clear about your feelings and want to try to solve this situation so that both of you can enjoy your relationship as before, the best thing to do is You can do is talk to your partner face to face and explain what exactly you feel and what points of your relationship do you think you should improve so that work. In this way, your partner can also give you their point of view and together you can start making the changes you need to get everything back to normal. It is important that the communication between the couple is free of reproaches and challenges so as not to provoke new arguments.
- Fight monotony together: If the routine is the culprit that your relationship has cooled or stagnant, it is important that both of you do everything possible to turn this situation around as soon as possible. For this, it is essential to take care of the relationship day by day, you can organize new plans, be more detailed with each other, try to surprise each other from time to time, find new shared hobbies, give your sexual relationships a twist by trying new things or having more spontaneous and improvised intimate encounters, etc. If the two of you do your part, the desire to do things together will return.
- Learn to argue as a couple: This point is basic if you want to prevent your relationship from getting cold or even ending due to continuous arguments, reproaches, belittling, etc. When there is something you want to discuss with your partner, it is important that you calm down before speaking and do not get carried away by emotions, try to be very clear about what you want to convey and where you want to go with that message. You must reach some agreed conclusion to solve the problem and you must both give in, since neither of you will be absolutely right.
- Consider seeking professional help: Many times, we do not know how to manage the situation or what to do to solve the problems with our partner and make our relationship work as we want. It is at this time when it may be a good idea to assess the option of going to couples therapy so that with the help of a professional we can find the solutions we are looking for.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
