From a biological point of view, human beings are polygamous, in part because of a survival instinct to prevent the extinction of the species. In fact, monogamy would be an evolutionary trait. On the other hand, history has made it clear that polygamy has existed since the beginning of time. It is governed by different regulations according to civilization, not limiting itself to favoring one gender or another.
However, having evolved and developed the neocortex, people now have the ability to handle abstract concepts such as ethics, morals, commitment, among others. That would change the rules of the game and provide the opportunity to demonstrate this evolution through the practice of concepts such as monogamy. In this Psychology-Online article, we will talk about the keys to knowing how long does a relationship of lovers last.
Index
- Causes of having a lover
- Consequences of having a lover
- How long does the infatuation between lovers last?
- When does a relationship of lovers end?
Causes of having a lover.
The causes of having a lover, as well as the consequences, vary depending on each person and each couple. It is generally believed to be due to Lack of love, of fidelity, neglect of one of the members of the couple or for being a lifestyle. Although there may be a little of each, science has studied human behavior in terms of love and, although there may or may not be love between a pair of lovers, The attraction and infatuation are present in romantic relationships outside of marriage.
In this process, logical abilities are skewed, so being fully aware of the lack at the beginning of a monogamous relationship is difficult. Daniel Goleman posits that human beings we have "two minds", one emotional and the other rational, which would help to understand an individual does not seem to notice that he acts according to her emotions without paying attention to the rationally logical.
On the other hand, Dr. Esther Perel proposes that the issue of infidelity or looking for a lover, rather involves an intrinsic conflict. Thus, the reason for resorting to infidelity would not have to do with the partner you have. or have the intention of hurting him, but with the particular and personal motives of the person looking for a / a third party. Among the reasons that would drive the individual are the desire to rediscover, rethink who she is or how you perceive yourself. Discover the signs of emotional infidelity.
Consequences of having a lover.
As for the consequences of having a lover, they are very varied, since it affects morally, emotionally and socially, in different degrees. Although the fact of having a lover will not necessarily end the formal relationship, whenever the couple decides to work on it, they put themselves at risk.
In addition, apart from the repercussions on the social environment, there may be a moral and ethical internal conflict. Generally, regardless of the context, people tend to evaluate these types of situations and judge them harshly. In this article, we answer the following question: I am married and have a mistress: what do I do?
How long does the infatuation between lovers last?
How long does a relationship of lovers last? This is not something that science has determined, especially when it comes to relationships outside the marital context. Even so, in general terms, it has been established that the infatuation stage lasts, approximately two years. This is the first stage when it comes to romantic relationships. During the infatuation period, neurotransmitter segregation and psychological and social factors interact creating the experience of infatuation. In this article, you will find more information about how long the infatuation lasts according to psychology.
On the one hand, for a person to establish a relationship of lovers, there must be attraction and characteristics of the other between the two. This is the basis of falling in love, which is not love but a time in which the defects of the other person are not so obvious and all their virtues stand out. In other words, even when there is a crush, that It is not a guarantee that there is love between lovers.
So why do we fall in love? In the following video, we will tell you why we fell in love with one person and not another. We will reveal why we fell in love with someone, taking into account pheromones and hormones.
When does a relationship of lovers end?
A relationship between lovers can last as much as both people want. There is no period that determines it. In addition, there are a variety of factors influencing the duration of an extramarital relationship. Each factor depends on the particular character of the people involved. When these types of relationships end, it is possible that it is more difficult for one to forget about the other. Discover why can't I forget my lover.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How long does a relationship of lovers last?, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.
Bibliography
- Garcia, M. (2006). Falling in love as a necessity. UANL Science. Vol. 9. (001). 5-9.
- Goleman, D. (2001). Emotional intelligence. Mexico. Editorial Vergara
- Perel, Esther. (2015). Rethinking infidelity... a talk for whoever has ever loved. Recovered from: https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved? language = is
